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Doc. Feel : Wetdreams, Poppers and Immigration

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Dear Doc,

So ok I have a huge ass problem. My boyfriend of a year and 3 months can only seem to get off when he initiates sex, and when ever I do, he's all "I can't get off". He's go a lot going on with work and school and an internship, so I get to see him like maybe once or twice a week and when he wants it he gets it and gets off. He's asked me to be more aggressive and seduce him and when I do.... well nothing happens. What do I do? Any advice please. I don't have many gay friends around me, and don't feel comfortable going to my straight friends, and I am just at a loss. Any help would be awesome, thanks.

Dear HA Problem,

I think you can best find the answer by talking to your bf. On the surface it doesn’t sound like you are doing anything that would account for his non-orgasmic experience. It could be that it is something very simple or easily solved by discussing it. Don’t be afraid to discuss things with your bf. People should not be in a relationship if they cannot discuss intimate and personal issues. So what have you got to lose by talking to him?
Doc. Feel

Hi Doc,

I'm 18, and I'm not gay, although I'm bisex... or at least I think I am... but anyway I wanted to ask you If I'm going mad or something: last night I had a dream I was having sex with another man (its happened twice in my life) and it was so real that I cummed so I woke up. When I woke up I found out that I had really cummed. Is that normal?? Or is there something wrong with me?

Thank you,
Dan

Dan,

You are completely normal buddy and there is nothing to worry about. Being bisexual, it is normal for you to have dreams either about men, women or both. Dreams you are having that include cumming are called Nocturnal Emissions or Wet Dreams.

Most people stop urinating in their bed before the age of six (hopefully). Then why are many young teenage boys, and even some men, waking up in the middle of the night with wet sheets and underpants? The answer is they are experiencing something called nocturnal emissions, or "wet dreams." Nocturnal emission is the technical term for the experience of having an orgasm and then ejaculation while sleeping. There is a difference between nocturnal orgasms and nocturnal emissions, because males can have a nocturnal orgasm (a sexual climax) without ejaculating (an emission of fluids, including semen). Females have nocturnal orgasms as well, but there is no emission (as explained in another section). The important thing to understand is that there is nothing wrong with a male if he experiences a nocturnal orgasm or nocturnal emission, as they are normal and healthy experiences. The only problem with a nocturnal emission we can think of is the wet spot it leaves.

Starting between the ages of 10 and 12, males begin going through the process of puberty . During this stage, teenage boys start to produce sperm and gain the ability to ejaculate. It is at this time that most males experience nocturnal emissions, sometimes even before they learn about masturbation. While sleeping, the male's genitals may rub against the bed or sheets, or he may unknowingly stimulate them himself. When this happens, the male may become so sexually aroused that he has an orgasm (even if he is not awake to enjoy it!), along with a nocturnal emission. (via sexinfo)

So Dan, don't sweat it, it is perfectly normal. =)

Doc Feels,

I am a 26 year old guy and have a large group of gay friends that I adore. One thing that does bother me is that some of them use poppers and other disposable drugs during sex and clubbing. I am not a person who likes drugs in any form. I don’t want to infringe on their personal choices or judge them. BUT, it really bothers me. Especially when I see them making bad choices and doing dangerous behavior. They use the excuse that it enhances their sexual experience. I don’t know what I should do. Help?
Drug Buster

Dear Drug Buster,

I am going against the grain of our culture and community, but I agree with you. Unless a drug is prescribed by a medical professional for medicinal purposes, it is not a wise choice. Many use the “enhancement” theory often, when I hear it, it makes my bullshit meter sound. Agreed there is an effect of the drug, but how can something that may be addictive either physically, psychologically or both be an enhancement? Sounds oxymoron-ish to me. Yet, people make their own choices.

I applaud you for not wanting to infringe on a persons personal choice, but you don’t have to agree, you can definitely state your concern to them and then if it continues, you should eradicate yourself from these situations or friends. If one disapproves of something this strongly and then continues to hang out with them and party with them, then you are enabling through friendship. Which basically means, it is causing you mental anguish by being around someone who is flagrantly disregarding your concern for them.

I am of the mindset in today’s culture that I hate all forms of drug usage, I think it is a plight on many communities, but I can only change those who come directly to me for the sole purpose of wanting to change their behavior. Choices define us. Make yours healthy my friend.
Doc. Feel

Doctor Feel,

I am interested in your opinion on the policy of illegal civilians and immigration in the USA.
Mike

Dear Mike,

LOL, my friends are going to be chuckling on this one buddy. When I am asked something like this I always think to myself and have said out loud many times:

Dear Jesus,
Please put one hand on my shoulder and the other over my mouth.

You see Mike, this is a political ticking-time bomb and I try to keep myself as removed and personal on politics as the good Lord allows me. Sometimes he removes his hand and I insert my foot. My wonderful friends Guy and Anthony would love this discussion and will be chuckling that you asked. With my deepest apologies Mike, I cannot make comment on that issue.
Doc. Feel

Email Doc. Feel: DocFeelQC [@] gmail.com

Doc. Feel is a psychotherapist who has worked in the gay community for the last 12 years. He is currently co-authoring a book focusing on Domestic Violence within the GLBT community; Love Is Red Not Black and Blue.

Written 31.Mar.06 / Comments (1) / TrackBacks (0)