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Doc. Feel - Back To Answering Questions

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Doc,

I believe I know what the right answers are, but I need a professionals POV. My bf and I have been together for a year as of November 26th. I am out and he is too except to his family. We live 400 miles away from his family and everyone here that knows us know we are gay and coupled. I am a Christian and I do NOT lie. I am a highly involved in our church and our church knows about us, accepts and loves us and with my involvement with the church I am have become well known in our city, community and worked hard to build a solid reputable life.

I do not agree that my bf has kept this secret from his family, but respect his decision. He has told them we are “best friends” and roommates and a plethora of fibs to cover his story. Here is the problem, he has invited his parents, grandparents and two siblings (teenagers) to our home for Christmas. This would mean a couple days. He told me after the invitation was given and so I don’t predispose you to my feelings, I would like to hear your thoughts.

Thank You,
Uh HO HO HO

Dear UHHH,

He has completely stepped over the boundaries. In the best of relationships, inviting an entire family without first discussing it with the partner would be unacceptable. This puts you in a position of either lying, which goes against your standard of morality, removing yourself from the holiday and home until they depart, telling your partner that he must either be honest with them or notifying him that you will not lie to them and take part in his deception.

His asking any of that from you, except his choosing to be honest, is completely wrong, unacceptable and I would not stand for it. I sense your knowledge that doing anything but being honest would go against your principals of morality and for that I commend you.

Doc. Feel

D Feel,

My LT partner has a teenage son that spends summers and holidays with us. He is obnoxious, rude, manipulative and I do not like him what so ever. How can I tell my LTP that I do not want his son around anymore? I’ve had it.

DONE

Dear Done,

I suggest you rethink your position or hit the road! That is his SON! Boyfriends and partners are interchangeable, but children are not. You have every right to express your concern for the boys behavior, you have every right to insist the father do something about his behavior, but you never have the right to try to force a separation between child and parent. If you force this, the choice would not be you.

Doc. Feel

Doc. Feel,

I saw a posting on a MySpace page about QueerClick’s effort to help that family in trouble. I cried, I thought about my own children, my fortunate position and thanked god that even an adult site can recognize that sometimes people have to take charge to get something done. I have sent in money, I know it isn’t nearly enough to do what needs to be done, but every little bit helps. To everyone at Queer Click and those who are helping I say to you God Bless Ye Merry Gentlemen and to those who have not donated yet I say

Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king:
Do you know what I know?
In your palace warm, mighty king,
Do you know what I know?
A Child, a Child (Ricky)
Shivers in the cold,
Let us bring Him silver and gold.
God Bless,
Stephen

Dear Stephen,
Wow, thank you, that really touched me. I’m speechless and very emotional with this topic so your words are very appreciated.

Doc.

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Email Doc. Feel: DocFeel [@] QueerClick.com

Written 7.Dec.06 / Comments (0) / TrackBacks (0)