PataPORN With Chinpoko!
Apparently it is the Mercury retrograde. For all you non-astrological folk, the Mercury Retrograde is basically when all the world's a bit out of whack. Apparently porn studios are using a different star chart because this week's is HOT HOT HOT! You heard me it's going to be a sizzling' PATA PORN WITH CHINPOKO!!!!
Hairy Boyz: Logan McCree and Bo Matthews
Who said used tires were worthless? Okay, maybe no one actually said that, but I think Logan McCree was out to prove all those hypothetical naysayers wrong.
In this scene from Les Boyz de Hairy, McCree gives Bo Matthews a good idea of what "going green" is all about.
I know I'm not supposed to play favorites, but I LOVE LOGAN. Yes, I think he's hot. Yes I think he can fuck with the best of them.
But mostly... I'm just in awe. In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say I'm in awe of anyone with a dick tattoo. I could never do it. When do they do it? When it's hard or soft? Do they have a fluffer in the tattoo parlor? Wouldn't that be the best job ever?!!
Also, I'll be honest... Chinpoko is NOT good with pain! I think I would go running out of that tattoo chair screaming my foreskin-covered head off!
As for the video... yum. Good stuff. What I love about Logan is the intensity he exudes. I wonder if he's very serious in real life. Ohhh, now I wanna see a "day in the life" of Logan McCree—wouldn't that be fun QueerClickers??
Oh sorry, yes... back to the video. I must say my favorite part was watching Bo shoot while Logan's inked cock slid in and out of Bo's hole. Ah, Logan... be my friend, please?
PATA PATA PATA!
The Russian Army Has Got You Pegged
What numbers? I couldn't see any. Oh my God! Am I crazy? What do you mean I'm a psychopath?
Well, screw you Russian government, trying to put this dick in a box! I'm not your play-dick! No, I'm a complex penis with feelings and intense desires! YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE, BITCHES!! You better watch your back, that's all I'm saying. WATCH IT! I will cut you... don't think I won't.
What do you mean crazy? Ha. I'm not crazy! Every little penis hears voices saying to push little Timmy over the cliff. That's completely natural. Ha! Me crazy! Watch your back, Russian shrinks! WATCH IT!
Frat Men: Malcolm
And you thought penises couldn't listen? Several months ago, one of my lovely fans QCommented on Pataporn and asked for some fire-crotch cocks.
Ask and ye shall receive. And boy, did we EVER receive.
Frat men's newest pledge Malcolm is just beautiful. First of all, I love the freckles. They make him look so boyish, but not too young.
And, how hot is that LONG COCK OF HIS? PATA PATA PATA. Chinpoko predicts that we'll see only good things cumming from Malcolm.
Mmmmm... Wet Dreams May Cum!! On my face.
UK Naked Men: Ben Statham, Michael Madison and Danny Star
First off, I don't know if it's because I'm not British, but the acting is so much better in this film then in a lot of American porn. It's like these guys are just having fun with it and not taking themselves seriously. Few American porn actors are doing that right now. Although, if you haven't seen any of Chris Rockway's acting on Randy Blue, then you're missing out—it's pretty damn funny and good.
But let's not forget the fucking, because these Brits are just as good at that too. Ben, Michael, and Danny are all just incredibly hot. Though I think Danny's my favorite, it's really hard to decide. That's one of the great things about this video; there are three completely different types of guy to watch. Chinpoko loves diversity!!!!
If I tried to list all the different sexual things they do in this video, then I would never finish. They all suck, get sucked, Danny gets fucked, and Ben and Michael both take a double! AHAHAHAA! IT'S ALMOST TOO MUCH IT'S SO HOT! IT'S LIKE A PORN OVERLOAD!!!!
Just watch the video and thank me later.
Hottest post of the week.
Damn, now I'm all horny again. All right, so maybe I have never been not horny. But you can't blame me—I am all dick! Well, that's it for me this week. Until next week, fair fans. Now get out there and get turned on!
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"Wet Dreams May Cum!!"--best porn-ized version of a mainstream movie title EVER.
Also, I think I might've been the one who requested redheads... was that on the St Patrick's day post?... either way, thank you, this guy is waaaay hot.