Dustin Lance Black Sues Everyone And Your Mother For Bareback Fuckpics He Took

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Images removed at the request of Dustin Lance Black’s legal representation.)
And just when everyone had almost forgotten about the infamous bareback sex pics of Milk screenwriter golden-boy, Dustin Lance Black, has decided to sue his fuckbud and a bunch of others for $3 million, which should totally stop the pictures from being reposted all over the internet just like we’ve done above.
Here’s the kicker though: he’s apparently going after his fuckbud, Josh Delancey, because Black thought he was taking photos only of his face (uh-huh); Michael Lawrence, who the lawsuit claims stole the photos from Delancy’s computer while they were dating; Starzlife.com for posting the photos; and you for reading this.
The crack team at Queerty has more details:

The Oscar-winning screenwriter’s henchmen at Lavely & Singer—the bulldog law firm behind seemingly every celeb’s sex tape lawsuit threats—are going after Starzlife.com and its proprietors, which the lawsuit alleges distributed photos (and supposedly has video) of Black and a one Jeff Delancy having anal sex (without a condom, as everyone has noted!). Something about invasion of privacy and copyright infringement.

But parts of Black’s lawsuit, filed July 23, are pretty ridiculous. Like the part where he denies even knowing illicit pictures were being taken while they were having sex — because, if you’ve seen the pics, it’s clear he knew there was a camera (but claims not to have known it was aimed “down there”). Unless a certain screenwriter was not in a, uh, proper state of mind? Whatever. Black’s lawyers have to say these things.

Instead of suing everyone like a litigious queen, Lance, how about… oh, we dunno… NOT TAKING PICTURES OF YOURSELF WHILE FUCKING?!! This is the internet age, Mr. Black. Take a picture of your cock and it’ll circle the globe within seconds and for years to cum. This needlessly resurrects an old ghost for you and makes you seem less professional in our opinion, not more.
Don’t get us wrong, we actually like Dustin Lance Black—he’s a handsome articulate spokesperson for gay rights and we’d wager a lot of folks are OK with how he handled the whole sex tape scandal (though we wouldn’t mind actually seeing the tape). It’s in the interest of him moving on with his career that we think he should scrap the lawsuit. It’s doubtful that he’ll win—as a public figure, slander and libel become more problematic to prosecute, especially when it reflects the truth. Fact is, if you shoot your cock, you become fair game.
More DLB Fuckery on QC:
BREAKING: Dustin Lance Black’s Bareback Fuckbud Revealed!
UPDATE: Dustin Lance Black Responds
QCommenters Have A Go At DLB on the Top 10 QComments

Aug 04, 2009 By paperbagwriter 10 Comments