If you're reading this, you're probably already an expert at masturbation with years (if not decades) of "firsthand" experience—but are you a masturbating champion? Yeah, maybe jerk-off six or eight times a day (amateur), but can you jerk-off continuously erect for 9 hours and 58 minutes?!! No? Bah. Then you are no match for Masanobu Sato, world record holder for "Longest Time Spent Masturbating/Male" who dominated this year's San Francisco Annual Masturbate-a-thon.
That's right, May's National Masturbation Month and every year the Center for Sex & Culture celebrates by holding a Masturbate-a-Thon—and this year porn-patron Sister Roma served as one of the judges! We're sure the competition was stiff. As you can see in the picture above, the bear-ish former champion showed up for a wank as did an old dude who wanted to be left alone with his thoughts.
But for the last two years Mr. Masanobu Sato has flown in from Tokyo, Japan to represent the Tenga male-sex toy company. In 2008 he jerked-off for 9 hours and 33 minutes. When the event officially started at 3:00, Sato had already been busy for nearly five hours. The judges allow the masturbators five minutes each hour to rest, but one of the organizers said "it's like a pit stop at the Indianapolis 500 - if you really want to win, you keep the tire changes to a minimum."
Vice Magazine caught up with the long-distance masturbator after he cooled down and he shared some of his secrets about how to keep going and going and going...
Did you use saliva as a lubricant?
No. I used some kind of lube.
It must have chafed a bit, eh?
Yes. It got irritated a lot, though it's also kind of paralyzed...
How about some kind of wrist support. You know the ones that professional athletes use?
No. I didn't use.
What's the secret to going so long?
My abundant imagination was a key to my triumph, firstly. Secondly, I trained a lot in Japan from the time I won first prize last year. I swam twice a week and gained about five kilograms in muscle weight. That helped me a lot, too in terms of stamina. Thirdly, the variety of sensations each Tenga gave me was ideal for long masturbation. Without the varietyof sensations, my dick would feel the same sensation for a long time-I used as many as ten different ones so that my dick avoids being paralyzed. And lastly, some of my natural body traits were something special. I really need to thank my parents for transferring to me good DNA.
Tell us about the feeling of the last minute before you came.
Never better! I could feel a considerable amount of semen was built up. I came just once during the race. It happened halfway, like a half-time in football.
How did the judges make sure that you were wanking all the time? I mean, you were there but you could be just touching your penis, not wanking, for some of that.
Judges walk around the venue and watch participants carefully. It's not so strict, actually. Touching your penis is not necessarily a criteria of judgement. What's important is to love yourself in whichever way you like and actually feel it erect.
Before we get to his final quote, we just want to say that's life not all orgasms and awards for Mr. Sato. For one, the Japanese Prime Minister didn't even acknowledge his amazing feat. His company threw a great reception for him, but otherwise Masanobu feels like a bit of a perv on the Japanese streets. And even though he has a girlfriend who's proud of him, she seems most proud to let him keep his dick outside of her:
What's your record for penetrative sex?
I make love to [my girlfriend] only a few times in a year, as she's not really into making love with me. But I'm OK because I can wank myself in front of her. But honestly speaking, I sometimes feel like inserting my dick into VAGINA!
How tragically sad. If he'd only post his 10 hour video on QC Asians he'd have tons of men willing to let him penetrate their man-pussies. Do you ever use that word, man-pussies? It's a good one.
We have a video of a cute brit at the London Masturbate-A-Thon, some history and records from the 2009 San Francisco event, after the jump!
WHAT A WANKER: Though this video features a cute Brit covering the London Masturbate-a-thon, tat's only a third of the video. The rest features dark humor about auto-calling a stab victim and singing and cartwheeling faggotry from a mincing minstrel—delightful!
In 1995, San Francisco-based sex toy retailer, Good Vibrations invented National Masturbation Month in protest of the firing of Clinton appointed U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders. Elders lost favor in the administration when she responded to questions about safer sex by saying that "Masturbation is something that perhaps should be taught."
In 1998, they started holding the Masturbate-A-Thon to raise money for charities, with wankers collecting pledges from friends and family for each minute of masturbation.
As Masturbate-A-Thon promoter, Carol Queen said then, "Who'd want to cheat? It's so much fun to masturbate, it's not like you won't do it and then say you did." In the first year the Masturbate-a-Thon raised $8,500 for good causes. In the years that the Masturbate-A-Thon operated as a do-it-yourself event it raised over $25,000, distributed 66,000 pledge forms, and had 1700 pledged participants from six different countries.
Here are the records from this year's San Francisco Masturbate-A-Thon:
The winner of "Longest Time Spent Masturbating/Female" was set in 2008 by Ms. Kitty Kat! And she wore her cute little kitty ears the entire time! Ms. Kat masturbated for 7 hours and 6 minutes.
The winner of "Most Orgasms/Male"was set by Michael Hariprem in 2008 -- at 31 climaxes! This is a world record!
The winner of "Most Orgasms/Female" is our voluptuous Featured Masturbator, Lady Monster, who came 20 times in 2008!
The winner of "Longest Distance Come to Come" is Morihiro Taneichi from Tokyo -- within the US, it's Ted from Hackettstown, New Jersey!
New United States - Men's distance record set in 2009 by (nom de plume) Mr. Flint Greasewood - 5 feet 4 inches.