David Beckham Groped By Undeserving Female


If you’re like every member on Team Orange, you’ve dreamed of touching David Beckham’s package; especially after seeing his bulge in those Armani underwear adverts. It seems we’re not alone in that wish.
Elena Di Cioccio, a blonde female reporter for Italy’s best known satirical television show, The Hyenas, recently sexually assaulted the stud on camera to see if his real-life bulge matches up with the package in the adverts. The Telegraph has more:

The stunt was a “test” to see whether the football star measured up to his photo in Armani billboards, in which he shows off his impressive physique in a pair of tight-fitting underpants.

He has since been replaced in the Armani campaign by Portuguese soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo.

Beckham looked shocked and immediately backed away after being touched by the blonde-haired TV reporter, a star of the satirical show Le Iene.

As security guards closed ranks around the 34-year-old midfielder, Miss Di Cioccio was chased down the street yelling “E piccolo, Beckham” (“Beckham is small”), while being filmed by the show’s cameraman.

Beckham climbed into a black car but she ran around to the driver’s seat in which he was sitting, shouting: “You’ve taken us for a ride! How could you? David!”

The Hyenas is broadcast on Italia1, a channel owned by Mediaset, Silvio Berlusconi’s media empire. The Italian prime minister also owns AC Milan.

Though the video’s obviously going for humor, it’s actually a creepy to watch because sexy Becks seems genuinely freaked out—and who wouldn’t be? We’ve always wanted to touch Becks all right, but not as a premeditated publicity stunt. We’d rather get him drunk first and then start massaging his shoulders and kissing his neck. Y’know, like Victoria Beckham does.
And why bother with the yellow gloves? We’re sure that Becks keeps his wiener nice and clean in case Lady Beckham should ever crave it. We’d wanna squeeze his knob with our own hand, and not deny ourselves the hands-on pleasure with rubber gloves. Someone needs to teach this crazy paparazzi lady how to handle a real man with style, grace, and a little lube.
Via Sticky.

Jan 22, 2010 By paperbagwriter 12 Comments