PataPORN With Chinpoko
Hey guys! Chinpoko had a crazy ass weekend and is just now recovering. It was like Christmas, Pride, Father’s Day, and Juneteenth all rolled into one. But let’s not talk about it. Let’s move along right to PataPORN With Chinpoko!
Xtra Inches: Tristan Jaxx and Conner Habib
RATING: 2 OUT OF 5 – HALF-COCKED
You’d think that two of the hottest stars in porn would create a cum-splattering scene together. You have Tristan Jaxx with his large and lengthy dick and everyone’s favorite vers porn otter Conner Habib. They can both deep throat and throw a good dick up the butt. Recipe for suck-cess, right? Wrong.
I get the anonymous public sex vibe that the video’s going for (and the camera man actually uses the reflective surfaces of the vehicles and their mirrors to capture some sexy and surprising images), but otherwise the whole scene comes off flat. I don’t know if it’s the bad lighting or the drab setting that’s getting these performers down, but it’s not their best performance. They suck and fuck without much electricity, which is a shame because I got turned on just looking at the names.
YES!: Deep-throating, deep-thrusting, and lots of moaning and grunting
NO!: The “wham-bam thank you ma’am” action seems like they’re just going through the motions
Cazzo Club: Axel Ryder, Yenier, Frank Philipp and Roberto Sangrego
RATING: 5 OUT OF 5 – CUMWORTHY!
This video starts with men in suits walking into a warehouse where two workers are blowing each other. Instead of firing the workers for jerking around, the businessmen start sucking them off—it’s blue collar fucks white collar! And once the clothes come off, it’s ass, not class that matters.
The working guys really make the suits sucks their fat cocks, using their ties to pull them in closer and making them gag on their bigs dicks—PATA, PATA, PATA! And then once the fucking starts, a businessman bends over and takes rough deep fuckings—sliding all the way out and then ramming it back in—thrice from each of the men. The bottom’s large piece stays plump and swinging and he grits his teeth and takes three very large dicks.
It all devolves into a fuck fest as the muscular men strip down and suck and plow each other in a corner of the warehouse. The only way it could have gotten hotter was for all the men to be drenched in sweat and making out. I came twice before the video even ended. PATA! PATA! PATA!
HOTTEST POST OF THE WEEK!
OMG: Men in suits and men in jumpsuits blue and psychotically fat dicks!!!1!
FML: Wish there was more making out and ass eating, but whatevs.
Extra Big Dicks: Adam Rogue & Alexander Garrett
RATING: 3 OUT OF 5 – AROUSED
Jesus Christ! Adam Rogue’s a muscle fetishist’s dream and packing a 9-inch meat stick that’s so thick and veiny that not even uncut 8-inch Alexander Garrett can choke it down. He tries with lots of slobber, but it’s so satisfying to see that Rogue can deep throat better than Garrett can. Is there anything Rogue can’t do?
Yes.
He can’t dirty talk for crap. He’s all like “Ughnnn. Fuck. You like taking that big dick, don’t you?” It would be alright, except it sounds so forced coming from his lips. The penetrations and cock-slobber speak for themselves, Rogue. Get an acting coach. But until then use your mouth for other things.
Despite this shortcoming, these guys both seem genuinely turned on. Once the fucking starts, they lose some of that intimate chemistry that really got me hard. Rogue’s deep penetrations were awesome, but how about some more touching and eye-contact boys?
MORE: Sword fighting between two huge dicks, lots of underwear play.
LESS: Farting noises while fucking (I mean it’s OK in moderation, kinda like high-fructose corn syrup), also lame sex talk.
FREAK OF THE WEEK – The Reynolds at Bound Gods
When Mr. Nick Reynolds (Nick Moretti) catches his son (Colton Steele) reading a book about BDSM, dad decides to teach son a lesson about the harsh realities of bondage.
They apparently got the setting from a old lady’s estate sale and are going for a Marquis de Sade vibe. But as much as I wanna mock it, strangely I love seeing furry Colton being forcibly stripped, spanked, tied up, whipped, force fed Moretti’s long delicious cock, and then having his puppy face cum all over—twisted? Yes. But splat’s entertainment!
CHINPOKO’S QUICK CUMSHOTS: You know how much I love Latin men, so my quick cumshots this week feature some sultry South Americans—que caliente!
Sean Cody: Esteban – A Latin stud with a beautiful body and uncut cock. Is it me or has SC had more men of color since Obama got elected?
Latin Boyz: Estevan – He kinda looks like a young skinny tattooed version of Christian Bale, but with a huge dick and a furry edible hole.
Maximo Latino: Matias and Pablo: Yeah, the top has a rat tail, but he also has a fuzzy torso and a nice bush. Hot Argentinean mansex!
Luckily, this week’s batch of bitches was a zillion times hotter than last week’s and this next week’s shaping up to be even better. PATA, PATA! I’ll keep jerking off until I can get rid of this hangover, but until then… get out there and get turned on!
