GQ First Nude Cover Features Sacha Baron Cohen’s Bruno

You may remember the outrageous video of Bruno butthugging Eminem. Well, now Sacha Baron Cohen’s Bruno is the coverboy for GQ’s first ever nude cover and inside he gives some hilarious fashion advice:

Dear Brüno,
Is it okay to “manscape” down there?

It’s more zan okay; it is most essential. Be careful if you do it yourself, though–yesterday ich tried to self-wax mein arschenhaller und glued meinself to ze bed. Manscaping ist important, but not as crucial as getting regular anal bleaching. If Brüno didn’t get his schmutziger arschenhaller bleached twice a month, his shtinker vould resemble Dizzy Gillespie during a trumpet solo. In Austria anal bleaching ist considered so important zat it’s paid for by ze state. In fact, you cannot run for office if you don’t have a vhite arschwitz. Indeed, ex-chancellor Kurt Waldheim vas elected on ze back of a prishtine anus. Zere are added benefits to getting ze bleaching–on my last session, mein beautician, Klaus, found ze long-lost head of a David Beckham action figure up zere.

Dear Brüno,
How would you define “Obama style”?

Firstly, ich vant to say zat I find Obama an inspiration–it gives me great hope zat, after years of struggle, someone can at last get to ze White House, despite being incredibly hot. On ze other hand, it’s slightly disappointing that he needed zat beard, Michelle, to help him–but vone shtep at a time. In terms of his style, he perfectly bridges Serious und Sexy…Oval Office und Oval Orifice.

Dear Brüno,
The United States military is constantly trying to update its battle gear in the field. Are there ways you would modify the current uniform?

In mein country it’s verboten for ze soldiers to shtup each other–as ein result, to keep ze cravings at bay, over 80 percent of ze Austrian army vear Dickorette patches as part of zeir uniform. Army uniforms have to change; camo zese days ist ein total nicht nicht. I mean come on, it hasn’t been on ze runvays for over fourteen seasons now! For spring-summer 2010, ich vould put ze U.S. Army in bright pastels und slogan T-shirts, stuff like “Soldier Boy” or “Shoot Me from Behind.”

Whether you’re a fan of Cohen’s scathing “reality” comedies or not, his plucked and shaved Bruno doesn’t look so different from the other plucked and shaved boys we feature regularly on this site. Personally, we preferred Borat’s unshaved hairiness, but his hygiene (pooping in shopping bags) and choice of women (obese prostitutes and Pamela Anderson), not so much.
Via Towleroad.