PataPORN With Chinpoko
Chanukah is over and Christmas is right around the corner! Well ho, ho, hoes because I’m like the Kris Kringle of Kum and the Grinch that stole your butthole all mixed together. And I got lots of fat, nasty packages to cram up your chimney this time around, especially if you’ve been bad. So get your stockings hung and put your balls on the tree because even though I’ve already cum several times today, we only get together once a week for PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!!!
Chaos Men: Hayden and Heath
RATING: 3 OUT OF 5 – AROUSED
The boys waste no time flopping their big dicks out of their pants and getting to sucking. They’re both toned, tattooed, and hung, so it’s mega hot. Bryan even gives a cam to Heath so he can film Hayden sucking his big cock. The sucking lasts a tad too long for how little the guys move, but then it’s on to some hot 69 action where you can really get a sense of how thick their dicks are and how much they love sucking each other.
Then Hayden drops his raw dick in Heath’s hairy little hole. There’s a bit too much testicle cam. The best shots are from behind and the side when you can really see Hayden’s nice ass dipping his dick deep into Heath. Hayden then mounts Heath and starts to ride his monster—it’s so big that he can’t even stick it all the way in! What’s so awesome is that Hayden stays hard throughout.
This is a raw video which isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but it does cum with two unexpected bonuses. For one, both guys cum as they’re actually fucking the other, creaming right onto their no-no holes. And secondly, they use the cum to slide their dicks back into one another for a few quick post-coital plugs. Safe? No. Hot? Yes. But remember kids: do not try these bareback tricks at home. These men are paid professionals and in this vid they literally work their asses off!
GREAT: Two hung studs with two hairy holes and two uncut poles that stay hard throughout.
NOT SO MUCH: The standing blowjob and fuck scenes aren’t very exciting.
Dirty Tony: Luke’s Gang Bang
RATING: 4 OUT OF 5 – FULLY-ERECT
Usually watching a gangbang is like going to a strip club—both sound like great ideas, but in reality they often suck. With a strip bar you end up paying an expensive cover just to “enjoy” overpriced drinks and butterface dancers pressuring you into the “Champagne Room.” Similarly a gangbang usually features some hot guys mixed in with a couple dogs, a line of dumb dudes waiting for their turn, and close-up shots of naughty bits that leave you wondering who is doing who.
But not Dirty Tony! He fixes all the things you hate about gangbangs and adds a few bonuses. For one, the guys here are all ripped, good looking, and well-hung. Even better, he starts all of them out wearing tight speedos that really show off their asses and physiques—so delicious! Then instead of the guys standing around with their dicks in their hands, Dirty Tony’s men also get busy fucking Luke’s face and sucking one another off. Lastly, they all cum on Luke bukakki style which adds a certain humiliating Japanese flavor to an all-American gangbang.
And if that’s not enough, he even crams all 5 studs in a shower together for some hot, wet rub-a-dub.
YES: Five hot dicks, four hungry tops, three Brazilian speedos, two holes at once, and a hot bottom as the fuckee!
NO: Yes, there’s still some waiting in line and more one-on-one action would have been nice, but oh well…
FREAKS OF THE WEEK
Randy Blue: Cayden and Travis
I’m all for tattoos and I’m certainly all for Cayden Ross, but the boy’s got a body like a high school sketchpad—it has ended up with some cray-cray stoner scribbles on it. The phoenix, tribal whale, and soul sun? All gravy. But that human skull coffee cup? Not so much. If a hot friend came up to me and said, “I’m thinking about getting Satan’s coffee mug tattooed on my arm!” I’d say, “Whoa gurl! You may be hot, but that’s gonna look mega-dumb, especially when you’re 82. And it’s creepy. If you’re sucking my dick last thing I wanna think about is caffeinated death.” And maybe he would listen and maybe he wouldn’t. But would I still let him fuck me? Yes. Yes I would.
Straight Hell: Guy
Also, if anyone invites you to their office to try out something that will tie your ankles above your head, they’re probably gonna rape you. Don’t be like Guy (unless you like rape in which case, go right ahead).
Dear Kurt, I love your ass and your muscular bod, but please stay away from the tanning beds. That shade of orange is not natural.
CHINPOKO’S QUICK CUMSHOTS
Xtra Inches: Antonio Biaggi, Bo Matthews and Luke Hass – Bo the burly bottom bests two big, brown boners. Saying that three times real fast is more than a mouthful.
G Online: Junior Moreno – This sexy swimmer with a thick cock and humpy ass will make you wet.
English Lads: Matt – Handsome but not perfect, in good shape but not ripped, hairy but not a beast—Matt’s a guy I’d like to fuck. And if you like hairy Brit boys, also check out Zac from Blake Mason.
Phew… did you have as much fun as I did? I hope so. But we actually still have one more week before XXX-mas and I’ve got all sorts of great surprises for you naughty boys out there. So I’ll work on my list and check it twice while you get out there and get turned on!
