Ask QC: I’m Attracted to a Married Man

Dear Ask QC,

There’s a very attractive married man who’s expressed interest in me. We never get to talk in a setting where we can openly address what’s going on. It’s always very coded and secretive. I’ve never been as physically attracted to someone as I am to him, but I can’t get past the fact that he’s married.

I’m no angel, but I feel like sleeping with a married man is such a hurtful thing to do to his wife, whom I’ve never met. If she ever found out, I’d have no excuse. I’d have to admit that I slept with her husband just because I thought he was irresistibly hot. But then I wonder if maybe they have an arrangement of some kind and she’d be ok with it. But we only get to interact where other people are always around.

I have no idea how to broach the topic in a way that (1) allows for the possibility that he might be coming out and (2) doesn’t make me feel dirty and dishonest. I don’t know how to handle this.

C.

Married men can be HOT! But should we cave in to our sexual desires? Is this married man trying to signal that he’s ‘coming out’? How should C. handle this situation? If you can help with any of these questions and more, or have any other advice to offer C. then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
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