The Aneros: Big Loads Cum in Small Packages

The Aneros: Big Loads Cum in Small Packages
I used to work in a sex toy store. We had a wide array of dildos and butt plugs of all shapes and sizes on this huge set of shelves. We had everything from Oooh-This-Feels-Nice small to Holy-Fuck-Is-That-A-Fire-Hydrant XXL. Well, at least once a week some casual shopper would happen to pick up this small but interesting looking device in a package marked simply, Aneros. After reading that it was a prostate massager they would always look at the wall of giant dildos, back to the little white doohickey, and back to the wall of dildos. I could see the wheels turning and before they could even form the words to ask the question I would tell them that this was one of the hottest things they were ever going to shove up their butts. Yeah, I wasn’t big on subtlety. Then I would explain to them what I’m going to tell you now, the proper way to use the Aneros.

First of all, this isn’t meant for the kind of ass ramming you’re going to get with a dildo that looks like a cock in a Tom of Finland drawing. This is something entirely different. If you drink, pour yourself a glass of wine or whatever little indulgence relaxes you. Legal, of course. I’m just sayin’. Then, put on some soft music. No, I’m not kidding. Trust me on this. Chill Out, Ambient, Trance, whatever. Then lube up the device and gently slide it in. Use the handle to maneuver it into place, carefully making sure the protrusion in the front fits against your frenum (or, as I like the call it, the Taint, as in tain’t the nuts or the ass, but the part in between). Here’s the part where you need a little patience. Again, trust me, it’ll be worth it. Lying on your back, slowly squeeze your butt cheeks together and release, wait a moment, then repeat. That’s it, really. It’ll take a little practice but you’ll soon find exactly what rhythm works best for you. Do this for a good 20 minutes to half an hour. I know, it sounds like a huge time commitment for such a small toy, but again, trust me. Once you have the biggest, wildest screaming orgasm of your life you can come back and thank me.

The beauty of the Aneros is that even though they knew they had a great product right from the beginning, they listened to their critics who basically complained that such a small sex toy was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. Branching out from the earlier models, such as the Eupho, Helix and Maximus Classic designs, they actually came up with various sizes and shapes so that not only deliver a prostate massage that will get you to claw at the walls and make the neighbors think you’re not alone, but the various designs will also give that anal stimulation you’re used to with your larger toys.
Wrapping up, the Aneros line is the delicacy of sex toys. Sure, sometimes you just want to dive into a pizza and make a big greasy mess, but sometimes taking the time to savor every bite can make a meal into an experience, and with a little patience the payoff will be well worth it.
Visit Aneros for more. Your prostate will thank you!