Ask QC: I’m a mess, what should I do?

Hi QC,

Hes some background to my situation: I met Josh when I was 19 and he was 17, we first met during our practice runs. At that time, I was a gymnast for my university and also a runner too. Josh was a high school hockey player, soccer player and also did track & field. I met his family too and we started to hang out together at his house. He’s a very good looking jock and lots of the high school girls were after him. When Josh started first year in college, he moved in with me. My parents live in another state. They met Josh and they love him.

So eventually, Josh and I end up messing around and became a couple. All my friends think that I am so lucky to have such a great guy as a bf. The problem is Josh is very protective of me and sometimes, he scares me. For example, Josh puched a guy when he thought that guy tried to make a pass at me at a gay restaurant recently. I told Josh that I can take care of myself but he wouldnt listen to me.

To make a long story short (but to complicate matters), I’ve also known Jake, Josh’s younger brother, since he was 15 yrs old. I was not interested in Jake at all. Jake looks up to me as his older brother. He even has my picutre in his bedroom. So by now, Jake is 18 yrs old and getting ready to attend another state university (wrestling scholarship) as he’s a great high school wrestler.

An incident occurred recently, when Jake stopped by to say good-bye to Josh and me the night before leaving for school the next day. Josh got drunk and went to bed. Jake and I were drinking and buzzing. We got talking about college life and such and thats when Jake told me that he broke up with his girlfriend around a month ago. He complained about his back and neck sore, so I gave him a neck and back message. Well, the next thing I knew, Jake and I were kissing and then it went even further than that and I gave him a blow job. I could tell that Jake enjoyed it as he is a moaner during that BJ, all of which I liked.

Now, after this incident, I just cannot get Jake out of my mind. I feel guilty, conflict and I tear up inside. If Josh knows about this, he would beat the shit out of Jake for sure (even though I am a guilty person also.) Oh! man, I am such a mess. What is wrong with me? What should I do?

CB.

Hi CB and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. Your situation certainly sounds challenging to overcome and sort out but life is full of surprises, ups and downs, mistakes and a learning process. There will be others who have had life experiences similar to yours and can offer their thoughts and advice. So dear QC readers, if you can help CB then please share your wisdom and advice with all in the QComments section!
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