Ask QC: How long is normal to hold an erection for?
Hi Ask QC guys,
I’m 35 years old, in shape, work out a few of times a week and currently single after a 7 years relationship fell apart last year. For quite a while I didn’t want to date, but I still really want to have sex, and I guess ultimately if I meet the right guy get into a serious relationship again (but not just right now).
I’ve been a bit rusty on the dating game, but still it seems it’s more about hooking up and then looking for compatability/love later on. Guys are guys and get attracted physically, at least that’s how it is for me.
My problem is that when I’ve hooked up with a guy, and we are getting down to it, we are all over each other and I’m really hard, super erect. But after a few minutes I go soft again, if I jack off or if my date blows me I’ll become hard again and then as soon as I start working him, I go soft again. I’ve noticed this with my last 4 or 5 dates and it seems to be getting worse (thing is I now have it in my mind I’m going to lose my erection and then it happens!)
Like I say, I think I am fairly fit, no problems at my last company physical and I don’t want to resort to using something like Viagra. I’m beginning to wonder if I got myself in a sexual “rut” with my former partner of 7 years, although towards the last 8 months we didn’t even have sex at all. If I’m jacking off by myself I have no problem keeping an erection, so I don’t know when this is anxiety or lack of familiarity or what? A couple of my hooks up actually said I suck at sex, which was them being “honest” but another way of saying no second date.
So, just asking you guys here, what can I do to fix this? I can maintain an erection for at least an hour on my own, but with a guy I’m losing it (but regaining it) for 2-3 minute periods (which is kinda weird). How long is normal to hold an erection for? Do I need to see an MD or a shrink? Does this happen often to other guys, if so how did you fix it? Would really appreciate any advice on this – thanks!
Alan
Hi Alan and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. There could be many reasons why your erection is not functioning as it should, although the fact its fine when you are doing solo may suggest its more of a physcological or pressure situaiton causing this. We would always recommend seeing a health care professional, at the very least to rule out any medical conditions that may cause loss of erection and also for your peace of mind too. So dear QC readers what advice would you give Alan? Have any of you experienced this before? And if so how did you resolve or remedy this situation? If you can help Alan then please share your tips, advice and pearls of wisdom with all in the QComments section!
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