The Great Gift to Humanity: Masturbation

There is simply no denying that life can be hard, even cruel. Few, if any, of us go through life consistently getting all the affirmation and pleasures that would offset the hardships that inevitably come our way. Fortunately for us, our bodies are equipped to provide the ability to cope with even the most difficult circumstances. We generate our own natural pain and stress relievers through our positive physical contact with other people. From the time we are infants we learn to find pleasure in skin-to-skin contact with others. It appears that we are dependent on copious amounts of this kind of comforting and pleasurable contact for both physical and emotional development. When we transition from childhood to adolescence, we simply move our source of physical contact from our family to our friends. However, the special pleasure of human, skin to skin, contact never loses its importance.
There is only one problem.

Over the span of our life there are limited times when we have regular and consistent access to enough of that kind of contact. Even when we are in a relationship with an active sex life, we do not necessarily have access to the physical pleasure when we need it to mitigate the pains of life.
Masturbation is the way we have been given to fill that void. Masturbation to orgasm is nearly unique to humans. Bonobo apes, who just happen to be our nearest genetic relative, seem to be the only other species that can do this. Via masturbation, aided by our unique ability to imagine things that are not present in reality, we have the ability to produce our own physical and emotional pleasure without aid of anyone else. I do not just mean that we can achieve sexual release, but we can enjoy both the pleasures of being touched as well as the pleasures of touching. Both are very important for our mental health.
Children spontaneously begin to masturbate as soon as they learn to control their limbs enough to do so. There is even some evidence that children learn to masturbate even before birth. Most children will continue to masturbate with some regularity unless they are taught not to do so. This seems to be a biological survival mechanism. Yet, nearly all cultures discourage if not forbid masturbation. Even the free-sex Greeks taught that masturbation was an empty exercise and that it was better to focus that energy elsewhere. Of course the Christian tradition calls masturbation “self-abuse” and lists it as a very serious sin. The Mormons take it one step further and spell out that masturbation is akin to homosexuality, because if one masturbates one is enjoying touching the genitals of the same sex.
Actually, the idea that masturbation normalizes a male enjoying the feeling of a penis or a female enjoying touching a female breast or vulva is not without merit. It would follow the basic tenets of behavioral learning for this to be true. I have long contended that unless taught otherwise, the vast majority of people will seek out and receive sexual pleasure from both sexes. This well might be the mechanism by which this ability is transmitted. The error that the orthodox Christians make is their assumption that an all-powerful god is actually so petty as to be consumed with how humans use their genitals to achieve pleasure. Really, does a being that can speak the world into existence care if a male touches another male’s penis? I think not.
The whole notion that masturbation is a sin is to suggest that God played a cruel trick on humans by providing the mechanism to relieve their pain and suffering literally at their fingertips, then forbid them to use it is absurd. It harkens back to the gods of the Greeks and Romans who were indeed cruel and capricious. Those gods did enjoy making humans suffer and it is no coincidence that the idea of masturbation as a mortal sin came from the Roman church.
Our aversion and shame in masturbation not only leads us to hide it from even our close friends, but to shortchange our pleasure as well. All too often people race through masturbation as fast as they can to get sexual relief, but in doing so miss a great deal of the good they can do themselves in the process. Good masturbation, like good sex, involves more than just the genitals, but the entire body. It is the difference between fucking and making love. We as humans have been given the ability to make love to ourselves and we should use that ability to make our lives better.
To get the most out of masturbation we have the ability to mentally shift from the pleasure of receiving stimulation to the pleasure of giving stimulation. We lack the ability to focus on both at once, much like during 69 we must constantly shift from the pleasure of giving to the pleasure of receiving. Masturbation is the same. If we will take the time to relax and enjoy how it feels to touch arms and face and stomach and legs and yes, genitals we can gain most of the pleasures of touching another person. Of course to do so we must accept the validity of enjoying touching a body that is the same sex as we are, but once we can do that, we can make love to ourselves. Alternately, we then enjoy the feelings of being touched. This is easier to do than the other, but if one only does this one shortchanges themself. Far too many people insist on imagining someone else touching them during masturbation. That is not wrong or bad, but it inhibits the ability to shift back and forth from being the giver of pleasure to the receiver.
Life is difficult, for everyone. That is just the way it is. But, into that difficulty we have been given the marvelous gift of true, all natural, “self-medication” to ease the pain and stress. We can embrace that gift for all it can do for us, or we can limit that gift, or we can fight that gift. The choice is yours, but I would suggest that we should all embrace all the good that we can.
The Professor says: Masturbate to a better life.
(Repost from the amazing The Professor & Paula Polyamory)