Ask QC: My partner wants an open relationship what should I say?
Dear Ask QC,
My partner of 6 years just asked me for an open relationship.
It’s true to say our sex life has become stale and boring, but I’m ok with things as they are while he is not. His sex drive is higher than mine and he said it will just be sex with other guys nothing more.
He says this is normal for gay couples, but I’m not too sure if it is or not? Should there be boundaries and if so what are these? Only sex, no kissing, only at our home or at the other guys home? Obviously only safe sex, but does it include fucking? Should it only be ONS or a reguIar Fuck Buddy? I feel like I have a hundred questions to think about and maybe I will miss some important aspect of this – I really don’t know what to say.
I haven’t agreed to anything yet, telling him I need time to think about it – but I haven’t completely rejected the idea either. I’m prepared to listen what options there are, as I want the two of us to remain together as a couple but I also don’t want to drive him away by not agreeing to his needs too.
We pretty much get along well in all other aspects of our relationship, I really do love him and he tells me regualry that he loves me too, and it’s not like we don’t have sex at all, it’s just a bit routine and infrequent. Like I say, I’m ok with that side of things but going into an open relationship is uncharted territory for me and something I’ve never experienced before – I really need some advice about this – thanks.
Kai
Hi Kai and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. It’s true to say that gay relationships are a bit more flexible than the traditional heterosexual monogamous marriage and so open relationships do exist. That said, any relationship has to have it’s boundaries and agreements for you both to feel comfortable with the situation and to be able to trust each other. We are pretty sure that every different type of scenario and type of relationship is out there, so it’s really down to you two guys sitting down and discussing what is agreeable and what isn’t. So, dear QC readers what are your views and experiences on open relationships? Have you ever had, or are you currently in an open relationship? What advice would you give this couple prior to embarking on this? If you can help Kai answer his questions in anyway or would just like to share your thoughts and experiences please do so in the QComments section!
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