Ask QC: Porn and relationships, is it really a problem?
Dear QC,
I’m a big fan of QC and of gay porn in general. The reason I’m writing in is because my partner of 16 years doesn’t think I should still be surfing porn (yes I know I’m old lol, ok I’m 47 but my partner is 38)
Even though I am the older one, my partner think’s it’s immature of me to watch the amount of porn I do, but for me it’s just normal (a couple of hours a week I guess)
He says continued viewing of porn could affect our relationship, but I kinda think it’s what helps keep us together too. I see porn as just another aspect of my sex life, part of masturbation and something I’ve always done.
And it’s not like we don’t have sex together reqularly, ok it’s not like when we first met all those years ago, but I would say it’s pretty regular at least a couple of times a week (sometimes more).
So my question is, is using porn regularly while in an LTR really a problem? I can’t see it but my partner seems to think it will be – any thoughts?
Cheers
Roger
Hi Roger and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. There is a misconception that only single and younger people use porn and yet we know from our fan mail that our readership base covers all types of sexuality, genders, ages, couples, singles, etc… gay porn really does have a broad and diverse audience. And within porn itself pretty much every aspect and type is covered too, whether that be muscle, jock, twink, bears, kink… you name it and its out there! It’s clear that porn isn’t used exclusively just because a person is single or young, many couples of all ages watch porn together. Some couples watch porn separately, but there aren’t really any rules, probably like most things some moderation should be considered but a couple of hours a week certainly doesn’t sound excessive. While some people watch porn for only a few years when they are younger, for others it’s a life long journey and something that will always be a part of their life. So dear QC readers what advice would you give Roger and his partner? Is porn really a problem in a relationship, will it be harmful over time and affect a long term partnership? Have you experienced any problems or difficulties in a relationship because of your interest in porn? If so, how did you resolve it? Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences to help him and all in the QComments section!
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