Ask QC: My date never cums when he’s with me – help?

Dear Ask QC,

I’ve been dating a guy for the past six months, he’s hot, funny and we really enjoy our time together.

The only weird thing is I’ve never yet seen him cum, even though we have lots of sex together, I still find it a bit strange that he never cums when he’s with me.

We are both single guys and have dated others during the time we’ve known each other and he said he’s able to cum with them. I kinda feel a bit sad that with me (for whatever reason) he can’t cum.

When this first happened I put it down to either performance anxiety or perhaps I just wasn’t hitting his sweet spot – I’ve really had to work all over him to find those but he is a sexy guy. I know it shouldn’t be important (and I’ve told him that it’s no problem) but I do feel as though there is something wrong now that after half a year and me shooting my load each time we hook up that he doesn’t get to that point at all.

The last time we discussed this he said that if he cum’s too quickly it will spoil the mood and he would then just want to sleep – but it kinda gets to me when he then tells me about a hot guy he met who made him cum really quickly. Or that he had a wank that morning and came loads – I’m like, but we are meeting later couldn’t you have kept that until then?

I’m not quite sure if I’m doing something wrong, or he’s just using me for a fuck or what? I do really enjoy our sessions and they are seriously long and all nighters (anything from 4-6 hours each time). I feel I’m running out of options to bring him off, or it’s starting to become an issue (even though I don’t want it to be). Do you guys have any ideas?

Adrian

Hi Adrian and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. Finding sexual compatibility with a new partner can be a journey in itself – what does he like, what doesn’t he like, am I doing this right or wrong? I think in this case you both need to forget about focusing on an orgasm as a final goal to prove that you have enjoyed intimacy together. Too often we tend to think that a partner cumming means that they have been satisfied sexually, the fact that you spend hours together in bed certainly sounds like you are both enjoying each other a lot! Don’t be limited just by focusing on an orgasm, if you really want to see him cum perhaps you can suggest he masturbates with you, it may just be that he has a slightly differing technique than you? Ultimately though it should just be that you have both enjoyed yourselves, yes I can see there is some frustration there with you thinking you’re not doing “it” right, just remember there really is no right or wrong when it comes to sexual intimacy between two people. So dear QC readers, what advice would you give Adrian? Have you been in a similar situation yourself and how did you resolve it? If you have any ideas on how to help Arian and his partner then please share your thoughts, advice and experiences in the QComments section!

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