Ask QC: Can I really become a Bug Chaser?

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Dear Ask QC,

Hi! I write to you guys just to get some opinions.

Anyway, it never happens to me to get to know a random guy on Grindr just to hook up, it’s not really my style. However, the other night I saw a very attractive dude and I decided to talk to him. He was extremely direct about just meeting for sex. But, he told me he was a “Giftgiver”. To be honest, I didn’t know what that was. Later he asked me if I was a “Bugchaser”, so I was terribly lost because I didn’t know what to say. I Googled the terms really fast and then I knew what that was all about. In fact, he was organizing an orgy with guys that wanted to have unprotected sex… so, eventually, they would get HIV. I declined to participate in the orgy, but I offered to meet him some other day and maybe have safe sex, if he was willing to do it in that way. Surprisingly, he replied that if I didn’t mind he was positive, then he would do it.

Truth to be told, I was really shocked about the fact that probably that night, some dudes would get infected with HIV just because they wanted to. Anyway, the weird part comes next: I texted him again on the app the night after, just a simple “What’s up”. As before, he was very direct asking my sexual role and age (like as if we hadn’t chatted previously) and I told him again about the “safe sex” deal we had discussed, but he started acting very rude, saying to me that if it wasn’t my intention to do it bareback, then to f*ck off. So, that kinda got my back up and I put myself in the same rude position but, somehow, we started sexting. WTF, right?

I dared him to be that rude with me on the bed (just teasing him to get him to be more angry). But then, he wrote some really very hot stuff and dared me to have unprotected sex with him, even though there is the HIV infection risk. He even gave me his address and told me he had a car and that he could come over to my place to pick me up right then. But the thing that really worries me is this – that I got really turned on. I got a huge boner in my pants and I fantasized a lot about having sex with him. I did though say no to the guy and blocked him on the app.

Of course, now I know all this Giftgiver/Bugchaser thing is a practice well-known, even though some people deny it. I read that people are willing to get infected with HIV, and that their logic to make that choice is based on several points; love is one (when their partners are infected and they’re not, it’s a way to make a stronger bond, according to them). The thing is, I get really terrified to know that if I got this excited while just dirty talking about bareback sex… can I, in the future, have the will to get HIV because it turns me on by having risky and tough sex practices? I know some of us like dirty, teasing talking or a little bit more rude sex, but… can this mean that I can really somehow become a Bugchaser?

LH xoxo

Hi LH and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns.. Intentionally wanting to pass on or to receive an STI or HIV infection through “Gift Giving” and Bug Chasing” is a controversial topic to say the least. However, since you have recently experienced this through chat on the apps and become intrigued with the subject then it’s just as worthy as any of the other hundreds of letters and different topics written in to Ask QC and as usual it’s open for discussion here. It sounds as if you became a bit too excited over the risk element though and rationality can become rather clouded then – and perhaps your hormones got the better of you when dirty talking too. So dear QC readers, what advice would you give LH? Have you come across this before or experienced a similar situation? If so, what did you do? What are your views on the whole Giftgiving/Bugchasing scene? And are there any valid reasons for a person to intentionally get infected with HIV or other STI? If you can help him in any way then please share your thoughts, advice and experiences in the QComments section!

Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

Nov 16, 2015 By Tim 5 Comments