Ask QC: Advice on being Catfished

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Hi Ask QC,

I’m fairly new to the gay scene an all, I’m 18 and still living at home and not out to my family. I’m in a small town in Kentucky with the nearest major city is an hour drive and so I’ve been using the dating apps to try to get to know guys and even meet up.

I recently had an experience on Grindr that left me feeling quite vulnerable and confused. I met someone who was really hot, a few years older than me and looked really sexy. He seemed sincere at first, but as we continued to chat, I started to feel that something wasn’t right. The pictures he sent were slightly blurry and he didn’t have an album of photos to share, which struck me as unusual.

When he asked for nudes, I suggested moving the conversation to Snapchat to verify his identity, a precaution I usually take. He agreed and added me, but when I asked for a live snap, he sent a picture that was identical to one he’d previously sent on Grindr. When I confronted him, he denied it was the same picture, but then he blocked me on Grindr. He continued to message me on Snapchat asking for nudes, but I blocked him there too.

I’ve heard of catfishing, where people use fake profiles to trick others, but I never thought it would happen to me. Is it a big problem on Grindr? I’ve learned that there are different types of catfishers: some use other people’s pictures to trick you into talking or meeting them, and others are scammers trying to get personal information or photos.

I’m feeling a mix of emotions – a bit dumb and embarrassed that I fell for it, angry that I was tricked, and worried that it might happen again. I’ve been reading the Advice columns here on QueerClick but couldn’t find anything on this topic. I’m gonna guess that there loads of the readers here that use the dating apps and could give me some advice. How can I spot a catfish in the future and what should I do to protect myself from this kind of situation?

Any advice you guys can give would be really appreciated.

Thanks,

Caleb

Hi Caleb and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns.This is an interesting topic to raise, especially as it is important to stay safe when meeting and hooking up with other guys when using dating apps. Sadly we think it’s all too common for cat-fishers to be present but you’re right to make sure to verify who you’re talking too. Live video and other platforms/apps are a good way to verify if a person is real, but even then we would advise that you take caution when meeting up in person for the first time. Make sure it’s in a public place and somewhere you can exit quickly if you feel uncomfortable with the situation. And always let another friend know when and where you have arranged a meet up. So dear QC readers, what advice would you give Caleb? Have any of you experienced this before, if you’ve been previously catfished, what precautions do you now take to avoid it happening again? If you have any ideas on how to help him with this issue then please share your thoughts, advice and experiences in the QComments section!

Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

10 Mar 24 By Tim Write a comment!

Smash or Pass

Sometimes seems like a foregone conclusion, sometimes we feature a non nude boyfriend here, as well you can’t be a nude boyfriend if you aren’t naked lol.

For us, and probably a fair amount of you folk, this one is a slam duck, rim shot heaven, insert your favorite sports ball in hole reference here, But what say you? Smash or Pass?

Continue with “Smash or Pass”

20 Feb 24 By Dave Write a comment!