QueerClick

I had the extreme pleasure recently to spend the entire day with Adam talking and learning about his life. Adam, most widely known as Sebastian Rivers of RandyBlue.com, is a gay man (Out & Proud) who is quickly becoming a rising star in Adult Entertainment. I enjoyed every moment I spent with Adam. Interviews can be long and often tedious, but Adam turned an entire day of interviewing, photo taking and talking into a day filled with laughter, adventure, honest and open sharing and friendship. Adam is now a friend of mine and I dare say anyone who spends any amount of time with him can’t help but consider themselves in the presence of a man who is full of good heart, laughter, smiles, honesty and zest for life and his fellow man.

I spent over 14 hours with Adam and never once witnessed a sour note, a dull moment, a negative thought or remark on another person and he let me into his life on all levels including his intimate thoughts. There were/are moments of pain in Adam’s life that he has agreed to share with our readers in this interview. Moments Adam discussed that left me looking at this amazing-young man with respect, sympathy, shock, grief and then beauty that he has become the man he is. I sat and listened to the intimate details of a period in Adam’s life that could have destroyed or broken a “lesser” man. Many men I have met throughout my life have crumbled under the pain of loss that Adam endures, yet this young man took a tragic event and uses it everyday to propel himself forward to finding the happiness all of us deserve.

I asked Adam why he felt this interview was important to him and he answered simply, “People need to know there is much more to me than Sebastian Rivers. We all (porn models) get these cool-porn names and fans watch us day in and day out, but they don’t really know us. They only know what they are shown. I would like my fans to know who I am, Adam. I am one of you, just doing everything I can in this world and industry to be as happy as I can and enjoy what life has thrown at me and what my future holds. I want fans to know I bleed and laugh just as they do.”

I had to stop and think to myself how often I had developed pre-conceived thoughts on these stars only to have my thoughts shattered or changed the moment I met them. Adam was no different, every thought I ever had about him changed from my time with him. Time spent looking in his eyes, his sharing his heart and letting me feel what it is like to be him. Shattering my thoughts that he lives in this SUPERSTAR world of lights and glamour. That nothing difficult life throws at us “Normal Joe’s” ever penetrates his SUPERSTAR force field. It just isn’t the reality of it. The reality is this: Adam; Sebastian Rivers, is a brilliant-young man. He is a gay man who is striving to make it in a GLBT fan-based world of Adult Entertainment where we GLBT fans scream for wanting to see heterosexual men be paid to have sex together instead of embracing and supporting our GLBT actors/models who are doing the work with real physical attraction to their co-stars and not just cumming for the “money-shot”, but because they actually enjoy the sex.

I suddenly began getting it. We scream, “MORE MORE MORE” and at the same time day after day complain because these “gay-for-pay” actors continue to state they are heterosexuals and yet men like ADAM aka Sebastian Rivers who proudly state they are gay don’t get the work. Why you ask? That’s a question I think we each need to ask ourselves. Do we want to continue complaining and being pissed off that these heterosexual men only screw on film because of the money or do we want to start supporting our fellow GLBT actors who do it and enjoy it? I already know my answer. It’s a double-standard in this industry. Fans want 2 men screwing, yet they want them to be straight and then complain when the straight actors don’t confess to loving the gay sex. Yet, when gay actors do the same job, fans do not seem to rally to their support and fan base. Actors/Models/Stars in this industry are made by the fans. These sites, company’s and producers give fans what they want, so if you want hot-gay men doing one another on film request it or continue to complain about the straight (gay-for-pay) men not enjoying the sex.

What was Adam like as a child?

I was a Huck Finn because I was always running around without a shirt and in bare feet. To this day I do everything I can in bare feet..HAH I used to run the woods and play outdoors in the yards and creeks and totally confuse my parents. My very-Yuppie family had a hard time controlling this wild kid always running around reeking havoc on the big outdoor adventures. Trees, woods, creeks and meadows were all my playground. I had an amazing imagination that could take me anywhere on huge adventures.

That totally fits your personality. I can see you doing that. Little kids running around all dirty and up to imaginary adventures. That explains you feeling so at home in the “wilderness“ today.

Yup, that was totally me. HAHA

So you have a close family?

Oh yes, I have an older brother, an older sister and a younger brother. My older sister and I share a house and my nephew lives there with us, he is 5. My family is very close always doing the family things growing up. My parents live in Colorado and my siblings all live close by on the East Coast, well, until I move to LA. I love my nephew and he kind of idolizes everything I do and say. Not that I want him to grow up and be a porn star…HAHA…but it‘s cute how he tries to copy everything I do. He always asks my sister, “Where is uncle Adam, he is never home.” So when I do get to spend time with him I take him on “bear hunts“ not real ones of course, but there are these wood trails by the house and at dusk we‘ll go “hunting for bears.” HAHA Very close with my mother, she always tells me she doesn‘t feel the same when I‘m not around, like part of her is missing. My sister loves me and I adore her cooking so much I make her do all the cooking now and she often wants to hurt me…HAHA I can be lazy and not do dishes, but generally I‘m a neat and tidy guy.

Do you think about having children one day?

Well, actually yes, I love my nephew OMG he’s adorable and I would like to have a boy and a girl. I want to have the boy first so he can of course take up for and look out for his sister.

So when did you discover you were gay and does your family know?

Since I was old enough to know anything…HAHA I mean I had a couple little crushes on girls at a young age, but the BOYS!!! I always knew I liked the boys and yes, my family knows and love me just the same. I LOVE boys…HAHA

When did you first have a bf?

Well, my first real bf was when I was about 15-16 and I would take my parents car and drive it scared shitless to see him about 35 minutes away and be freaking out the whole time because I didn’t really know how to drive…HAHA My dad finally figured it out and I got grounded. Yup! I was a bad boy! HAHA My first sexual fun though was with a good friend of mine in HS and we had Architecture Class together. One day he invited me on his dad's yacht on the Chesapeake Bay and we got to talking one night below in our cabin while his dad slept a few feet away. Our conversation that night ended by saying "So what are you thinking right now..HAHA I can't tell you what I'm thinking right now, what are you thinking?" One thing led to another and we 69’d for about two hours. Yup HAHA. We became even closer friends ,but never "dated" because this was new to us and he had a girlfriend etc.. we even double dated for prom and after going home and our dates were asleep we hooked up, this continued throughout HS. The sex was HOT!! We always traded places which I know will surprise my fans, BUT I’M NOT A BOTTOM! Shut up Doc. HAHA I‘m very versatile, I just willingly take the position most of these pussies don‘t want to take. I LOVE topping, but most guys are too sissy to bottom. So “Good Ole Sebastian“ does the hard work.

Now Adam, I know this is difficult for you to discuss, but you feel it is important to why you chose to enter the Adult Industry. You were in love deeply once, I know you still love him, he was the man of your dreams, every wish ever granted wrapped into one…Then your whole world changed in a second. Tell us about your one-true love.

Doc. Be patient with me on this one. I have all these emotions of wonderful, being grateful and experiencing one of the best things in a lifetime and coupled with that is the deepest sadness and pain my heart has ever felt. A brief glimpse of Euphoria that immediately began to change my life from the first time I met him, saying goodbye and feeling him with me every moment since. My soul is forever changed and I sharing this is important, empowering and difficult.

He and I met in 2003 at an A&F Store where he was a Manager. The first moment I set eyes on him I was captivated. He was beautiful. He had this whole scruffy-West Coaster-surfer thing going on. Totally A&F on the East coast. Initially, I felt embarrassed staring at him, but soon realized he was staring back. We traded numbers, he called me that night and we went out. Our 1st date led to the wildest-hottest sex in a baseball dugout ever! HAHA We had sand all over us and spent the night walking around in the sand and kind of just drinking in one another. The next day he called me again and we became inseparable. We began dating and spent everyday and night together. We would rent movies and spend the night in bed laughing and just being together. I never felt as touched by God as I did seeing myself in his eyes. He made me feel more whole and perfect a human than I had ever felt.

We were just a couple of average guys who had found their soul mate. We would spend days driving in the countryside and every little thing seemed to be a gift. I remember watching him with his horses, he loved them, I would spend hours watching him brush them and wash them. I took silly movies of him just brushing his horses, never knowing how important those movies would be later on. I remember making love and having him tell me how beautiful I am and that I should be a porn star because he thought I was so attractive. We spent countless hours, days and weekends at Deep Creek camping, doing the whole cabin thing and just being together. Everyday we fell more and more in love and days turned into weeks and weeks into months and it all flew by so quickly because it was truly the best time in my life. We were in love with one another, the world was perfect and we had our whole lives together.

On August 4th 2004 he was driving to my place in the evening to pick me up because we were going to get ice cream. The trip was a 10 minute drive. After waiting 35 minutes, something in my stomach began to not feel right and I began calling his cell which went directly to his voicemail. So I began calling his friends, no one knew anything. I got in my car and drove the route he would be coming to my house. I saw a long line of cars ahead and thought that he must be stuck in the traffic. As I got closer, I recognized the car, his car and the wreck. He had hit a tree and I don’t remember much of that moment but walking up to the scene dazed and having a policeman ask me who I was. I told him who’s car it was, his and my name, and that the guy they were loading in the body bag was my bf. He was gone, in that instant gone, taken from me and ripped from life altogether. I never saw his face in person again.

Watch QC this week to see part 2 of this interview.