Say It Ain’t So, Joe Dimaggio!

So, Joe Dimaggio!
The year was 1936. The Depression had taken America by storm, facism was all the rage, and Americans flocked to a little patch of mud called Yankee Stadium to watch Joe Dimaggio play a game called “stickball.”
Joe was quite the slugger! In the summer of ’41 he had a 56-game hitting streak. And he was quite the ladies man too! Tons of dames cried acid when ol’ butter face married Dorothy Arnold, the cheatingest broad in all of Cheatville! After he dumped her, he landed the classiest piece in Hollywood, Ms. Norma Jeane Baker, or as we liked to call her, Lady Lush Marilyn Monroe! Sure, the silly sardine divorced him 274 days after the wedding, but those 9 months were like a little slice of mental cruelty heaven.
Well, the book’s closed on ol’ Joe, but we still have his Louisville Slugger to remember him by. It’s bushy and uncut, and we sure would have liked to smoke it like a Cuban cigar. Except Joe wasn’t so much into pansies. He’d have probably crap the marble palace if he ever knew how many queenies dress up like his ex these days.
Oh well, that’s enough for this old timer. After we gum the rest of our spaghetti puree, we’re gonna skedaddle to the orderlies’ station and demand another sponge bath from Arthur—he’s a bit of a blimp, but he sure knows how to wash an old man’s whang.
More old-timey cock on QC:
Marlon Brando Sex Pic
Erection ’08: A Younger, Hotter John McCain!
Playgirl Vintage A-Go-Go!

Aug 01, 2009 By paperbagwriter 5 Comments