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Wait a second... who let Chace Crawford out of Texas prison? We thought he was rotting away in jail for carrying the wacky tobbacky. Oh well, he apparently got out early on good behavior (or good looks) and is now back on the streets walking around and looking impossibly glamorous.

As you may know, Crawford's hair is crafted out of a space-age fiber optic that short circuits if it ever gets wet. Which is why Crawford's creators have hired him his very own spiffy manservant called "Schmitty." Whenever it rains, they kick Schmitty awake in the broom closet where he sleeps and tell him to pull out the most fabulous rainbow umbrella that Chace owns so he can follow Chace around and keep him from getting even one single solitary raindrop on his otherwise perfect hair.

Meanwhile, Schmiity gets soaked and catches his weekly bout of pneumonia before being given a bowl of moldy gruel, a cold glass of dishwater to drink, and being made to dance around in a monkey mask to a hip-hop remix of Little Shirley Beans. It's quite a degrading life, but humble Schmitty finds it worthwhile as long as he can walk next to "The Hair."

Now where's that sextape, Chace you big-dicked bastid, you? And when are you gonna get it on with Schmitty? We can't wait forever, y'know?

For more celebrity bulges check out The Bulge Report and for naked male celebs, check out Cinemale and Male Celebrities.

For more celebrity bulges check out The Bulge Report and for naked male celebs, check out Cinemale and Male Celebrities.

Prince is a saucy and dirty rocker! So dirty in fact that he doesn't even wear underwear onstage. Wow! We knew he could play guitar, but check out how he rocks that organ. Does he need a backup to play skin flute? We know quite a few oral performers who would happily perform a mic check for His Majesty.

For more celebrity skin, check out Cinemale and Male Celebrities

We already know that R&B singer Chris Brown is packing heat, but his live show puts his heat to good use. In this video clip of the shirtless crooner singing Take You Down, he gets all up on a reclining cutie and shows her his froggy style. And once he stands up (around the 0:55 mark) he really stands up!

It kinda reminds us of the time John Legend popped a boner while serenading a female onstage too (even John Legend's dog knows his owner is well hung).

The sound on the video's miserable, so we dug up the lyrics to Take You Down:

Let me take you down
I really wanna take you down
And show you what I'm about
Can I take you now?
Your body body oh
Your body body up and down
So don't stop girl get it
Quit playing wit it
Can't wait no more
I wanna take you down
I really wanna take you down
Take you down, yeah

We think it's a song about road trips. And as such, if you're reading this Chris (why wouldn't he be reading us, after all he doesn't like women very much) if you promise not to hit us too much, we'll gladly take you down and show you our froggy style. You've never had it so good, you hot bitch.

For more celebrity bulges, check out The Bulge Report.

Via Sticky.

Jensen Ackles is an American actor who has appeared in TV shows like Supernatural and Smallville and films like Devour and Ten Inch Hero. From the looks of it, Jensen doesn't belong in Smallville at all because he's got a ten-inch hero that we'd love to devour. Thanks to James for the tasty shot!

For more celebrity bulges, check out The Bulge Report.

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Twilight hottie Kellan Lutz has already showed quite a bit of skin around QC. First he showed he turned us on with his sack, then we saw his tasty bulge and him modeling a pair of CK briefs. But in all his revealing exploits we never had any idea whether Kellan was cut or uncut—but now we have proof.

The boy's definitely circumcised and not only that, but he seems to have a thick mushroom head at the top of his pecker. Looks like Lutz decided to go commando whenever someone snapped these shots. And if he's soft in these photos, imagine what his cut cock looks like at full mast. We bet it's nice thick and veiny with a slight curve. We'd love him to rouse that monster from its sleep and drive a stake in us so deep that it wakes the dead. Between the sucking and the howling, it'll be enough to make a porn version of a Twilight sequel!

Thanks to Kelly for the pics!

For more celebrity bulges, check out The Bulge Report and for naked celebs, check out Cinemale and Male Celebrities.

Studly working man Mike Rowe is the host of Discovery's Dirty Jobs, a show in which he shoves his arm shoulder-deep into cow anuses, crawls through pipelines filled with sewage, and manually masturbates animals for artificial insemination—marry us now! On top of that, he's friendly and butch and a bit of a muscular bear who's obviously packing heat. Just look at him in those boxer briefs... yum!

We found this great shot of him sporting a mooseknuckle in khaki shorts and we just had to zoom in and imagine the dirty jobs we'd like to give him. We'd start with a filthy blowjob to make sure that his naughty bits get licked clean. We might even muck around his manhole and masturbate his one-eyed trouser snake, just to brush up on our skills. A handjob, a blowjob, and a rimjob all in one? He's like a one-man employment office. Sure it's dirty work, but someone's gotta do it!

For more celebrity bulges, check out The Bulge Report and for naked celebs, check out Cinemale and Male Celebrities.

Things have pretty bulge-tastic around QC lately. First, we had Chace Crawford's tasty bulge, then Taylor Lautner's workout pouch, and British porn actor Mark Davis' denim-clad mancock. So excuse us if we can't help ourselves.

We never considered Matthew McConaughey the sexiest man alive (like People magazine did in 2005), but don't mean we wouldn't like to roll his musky fat cock around in our mouths for a bit. We bet it's a nice piece, and if we could hear him moan and dirty talk us in that sexy Texas drawl, we'd pretty much blow our load right there. Whadd'ya say, pardner... giddy up?

For more celebrity bulges, check out The Bulge Report!

Mark Davis is the British-born porn actor who has starred in Butt Banged Bicycle Babes, World Sex Tour, and Butt Banged Naughty Nurses. He's a hot piece, but even though you might have seen him naked, it's still hot to see a sexy guy bulging in his clothes. In fact, if we caught sight of him in public, we'd hungrily start eyeing his pouch and ask him for a smoke. But fuck cigarettes... we'd like to put another faggot in our mouth. Ahhh... welcome to flavor country!

For more celebrity bulges, check out The Bulge Report.

Now that the HPA is no longer jailbait, we're all over Taylor Lautner's sexy ass like shit on rice. We know that he prefers to run with fellow wolves rather than girls and that his movie poster six-pack may not actually belong to him, but the bulge in his gym shorts definitely does and eyeing it has made us hungry (like the wolf).

For more celebrity bulges, check out The Bulge Report.