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Ask QC: I Love My Boyfriend but He Is Lousy in Bed :(

So I’m dating this really hot guy at the moment, he’s handsome, witty, charming and has a great body too. In fact we dated for several weeks before we jumped into the sack, and I was so excited when I knew we were finally going to have sex together!

OK so I know I probably built up my expectations a little too high cos up till that point of getting it on together everything had gone just too perfect. When we got into bed, he said he was a bit passive, which is OK, I’m basically a flexi-top so I though yeah this is gonna be awesome. And then… well then he just lay there! And I thought OK I will really get into this and fuck him in every hole and orifice and find out what gets him going, but no… still he just lay there! He was hard and aroused and the kissing was good so I thought maybe he’s just taking some time to warm up. But really he just lay there and didn’t do anything at all. Kinda weird for me, cos hey you know there has to be a bit of give and take here, I don’t mind doing a lot of the work but I’m not going to do it all! So after he came he said he was tired and went to sleep, that was OK but in the morning I started to kiss him and was getting into another sex session but he was just the same – he just lay there like a dead starfish! Later at breakfast we had a bit of a chat about it and I tried to find out if I was doing anything wrong, is there something he particularly likes or wants in bed and he said no, everything was fine. He said that’s how he always has sex!

So, I’m a bit confused actually, cos I really dig him as a guy and we get along great together but it’s the sex thing that’s bugging me. I know, for me, I have always learned new things and tried different things in bed, but for him he seems satisfied with just lying there. I realize that we all have different sex drives but I’ve never experienced a guy who does absolutely nothing, its just weird! Does anyone know how I can snap him out of his lack of enthusiasm in bed? I would really like to continue dating him as I think we make a great couple but the sex thing has to improve, how to I tell him? Is there anyway I can increase his sex drive or interest? It would be awesome if anyone has any tips or have gotten themselves out of a similar situation. I know the easy option is to go our separate ways but I don’t want to do that, I really want to make this work… help!

Luke

Oh wow… It must be rather disappointing when your boyfriend doesn’t seem to know how to perform in bed! How can one tackle this problem? Sex therapy/counseling (if there’s any for gay couples)? Learn from porn together? Heck, even bringing this hardon-killer this topic is difficult.
Let’s help Luke with this shall we? 🙂
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