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Ask QC: Single at Twenty Seven

Dear Ask QC,

I just got out of a considerably successful 8-year relationship. So that means the last time I was single, people still used Myspace, Tom Cruise hadn’t even met Katie Holmes and Lindsay Lohan wasn’t a hot mess.

We met when I was 19, and he (not Tom Cruise) was my first boyfriend, love and gay experience all rolled into one. It may sound like a recipe for disaster, but it worked until it didn’t, which was about 2 months ago.

Needless to say, at the ripe age of 27, I’ve set out to salvage the rest of my twenties to make up for lost time. And possibly experience a downward spiral or two (that was a joke, I think).

My ex and I enjoyed many years of delicious, unprotected sex. I never worried about wearing a condom or contracting a nasty disease because we got tested together and were monogamous. Looking back, my only worries surrounding my first sexual experiences were “will it hurt when you put it there” and “should I swallow when you put it here?” Now, with the prospect of being with new people, I worry more about contracting a nasty STI or HIV or herpes or even a cold. I’ve taken proper precautions (in my mind) with a fresh test for the usual suspects and a stockpile of condoms.

How can I enjoy sex with someone new, while being safe and without worrying about whether or not my health is at risk? Where is the line? Is it really down to trusting the other person’s word? At what point do you have that conversation with a potential partner? Am I over-thinking this?

Signed,
Single, sex-starved and scared

Hi there and thanks for writing into Ask QC with your questions and concerns, I’m sure our readers will have some ideas on how to help! Having an active sex life is certainly something you shouldn’t exclude yourself from, but staying healthy and taking the right precautions is even more important! So dear QC readers what advice would you give? Have you ever been in similar situation? Where you in a long term and sexually safe relationship suddenly to find yourself young, free and single again? How did it work out for you? Is “Single, sex-starved and scared” over thinking this or just taking sensible precautions and not being paranoid at all? If you can help him resolve his dilemma or come to terms with this then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
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