Ask QC: Out and Proud in 2025 and the Question of Porn

Hey QC,

So here’s the deal — I’m 20, gay, and trying to figure out what the hell it means to be queer, be able to express and live my life — and yeah I’m talking porn here too! On paper, things look good: Pride is pop culture, gay marriage is legal, and queer folks are all over TV. There is plenty of porn, both studio and amateur and creator content. But in real life? It’s… well, seems complicated, and there seems to be a lot of division with some folks wanting to take away our rights and from all angles, like WTF!

I used to be fine with PDA’s but now I am even cautious holding my boyfriend’s hand in public in case there is backlash. Porn laws seem to be stricter than before, and yeah I get it’s to protect minors, but its somehow the way its being done seems oppressive and overzealous — like come on, we all have sex and we all watch porn (straight gay, bi, any sexuality) why is it being made such a big deal? I still feel like I have to edit myself depending on where I am or who I’m with. And honestly, even within the LGBTQ+ scene, there’s always pressure — to be hot, funny, successful, and always on — so why fuck it up even more with these porn laws?

So I guess I’m asking: How do you stay proud when the world still low-key wants you to tone it down, especially porn? Why would anyone want to make it sound shameful or push it underground? It’s 2025 and if you wanna get off or do porn and show it to the world it couldn’t be easier opening on OnlyFans or JustFor.Fans account. So why does big tech and the banks all support these platforms and then its legislated to the nth degree and brushed under the carpet like it doesn’t exist? How do we go about changing this feeling in our culture that feels repressive, even in our own community?

I know there is a lot of horrible stuff going on in the world, and to some, this might seem trivial or sound like a small complaint but I really feel like our rights are being eroded and we are being steam rollered — I would love to hear a solid take on this. No BS, just any real advice — thanks!

Ollie

Hi Ollie and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. You’ve covered quite a lot here, but it’s all relevant and current topics, especially the question of porn. So dear QC readers, what do you think and what advice would you give? Please share your thoughts, advice and own experiences in the QComments section below!

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