We Know Where Harry Potter Is Hiding The Elder Wand!

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In case you haven’t been following all eight movies and seven books, the Dark Lord Voldemort has been chasing down the legendary Elder Wand—the most powerful wand on Earth. Boy wizard turned heartthrob Harry Potter has been searching for it too. But little does he know that it’s been under his pubes nose this entire time! We’ve sniffed out its location on The Boy Who Lived, fresh from a sweaty training session at Hogwart’s; and now we’re ready to share the wand’s secrets with you!

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22 Jun 11 By paperbagwriter 14 Comments

Hot Businessman Can’t Get Laid, Resorts To Mediocre Cybersex


We’ve all been there before. You go to the bar all dressed up and have a drink hoping someone will come around. Then you start texting out of boredom before deciding to go home and jerk off instead. Rest assured, it’s not pathetic… in fact, mega-hot businessmen do it too! Just check out this chiseled stud downing an overpriced cocktail before going back to his weirdly sterile hotel room to strip down for what seems the most boring cyber-sex session ever.
Not only are they horrible at dirty talk— “MMMMM” “REALLY?” “WOULD YOU DARE?”—but his web cam has horrible resolution. You’d think a world traveling, designer underwearing guy with a personal trainer could afford a higher quality webcam or at least a classy hooker. You’d be wrong. See? Sometimes hot men have boring sex lives too.
At least his chat partner uses a default male avatar meaning that this commercial for Gregg Homme Underwear definitely gay (like Men at Play) instead of pretending to be for women (like Playgirl). They also say this video is to be continued. Uhhh, unless the next video is off this guy jerking off and sticking toys into his butt, we’re hard pressed to figure out how to make him any more naked. But will we watch. Oh yes, we will…
Oh but what’s this? Apparently Gregg Homme released another two parter softcore after the jump. Let’s see what we can expect, shall we?

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30 Mar 11 By paperbagwriter Write a comment!