Ask QC: Have I Been Raped?

Hi QC,

I have a bit of a dilemma. I’m 18 and recently started college as a freshman after leaving home this year. I’m not out to my family but have a BFF who has been very supportive through my teens when I was struggling with my identity and accepting myself for who I am. I’m totally fine with all of that stuff now, and moving to the city from a rural town to start college has been very exciting. Especially as I can live my life being gay and out without the prejudice that would happen in my home town (and my family is quite homophobic too).

The dilemma I have is actually with my bestie, as she insists I have been raped, or at least seriously sexually molested, but I do not feel this is the case. As she is still living back in my home town and I’m in the city, we only get to text and FaceTime; we confide in everything (including our sexual adventures).

So I decided to go off campus to some gay bars, the first time for me and a little scary, especially going in alone and not knowing anyone. The first two bars I just finished my drink quickly and left as I felt so self-conscious, but the 3rd bar was great with more of a dance party vibe happening. Not that I am a great drinker, but I seemed to fit in with a crowd of older guys (mid to late twenties) and even got invited back to a house party too!. For me, it seemed like heaven watching guys kissing and being intimate together and dancing, but I got a little too drunk, till I was sick and vomiting in the bathroom. The couple who’s house said I could stay and use the spare bedroom where I crashed out. During the night, I heard someone come in and lay next to me on the bed. I was fully awake, but (not sure why) I pretended to still be asleep. I was really hoping we would have sex, but I’m not that experienced so didn’t know how to move forward with the situation. Well, the guy then lifted my shirt, kissed my nipples, and moved his tongue down to my waist. He unzipped and pulled my jeans and shorts down and proceeded to kiss, lick, and suck my balls. I was super hard and erect; I don’t think I’ve ever been that hard before! Eventually he took my whole dick in his mouth and gave me the most amazing blowjob ever! When I orgasmed, it was totally explosive and I filled his mouth. I was quite shocked as he carried on sucking and swallowing; he took it all inside and then licked me clean. He then pulled my shorts and jeans back up and zipped me up, pulled my shirt down, and then left the room. For me, it was the most amazing experience, and I never at any time wanted him to stop, even though I kept pretending to be asleep (or a bit unconscious from being drunk).
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