Fresh from his promotion at MAP Towers, Ben Brown is doing his best not to set a foot wrong and impress his new boss. But his new found eagerness almost costs him his job when he clashes with CEO Junior Stellano, the over a meeting room scheduling. But Junior is taking none of it and quickly saves Ben from potential embarrassment by introducing himself and putting him in his place. And in true MAP style this involves throwing Ben over the boardroom table and teaching him and his smooth. muscular ass a lesson he will not forget in a long time. And you wont be forgetting this sizzling HOT pairing in a long time either!
CLICK FOR LARGER IMAGE UPDATE 11/12: It only took half an hour for our devoted QueerClickers to come up with the names of the 4 “mystery men” on the cover of Attitude Magazine‘s Sex Issue. The gay porn cosmos has roughly a bajillion stars in it, so was it any wonder we couldn’t figure out some of their names? But now that our readers solved the case, you can lust after them as long as you like: TOP ROW:Junior Stellano, Alex Marte, Zack Elliott (from English Lads), Bailey Morgan (from EnglishLads), Blu Kennedy, Colton Ford, Erik Rhodes BOTTOM ROW: Hayden Harris (from EnglishLads), Francois Sagat, Will Jameson, Eddie Diaz, Arpad Miklos
Much thanks to Phil Hatfield, Michael, and rimmin69. We’ll be in touch soon with some goodies for being such clever QueerClickers!
Pornos aren’t exactly known for their theatrical mastery. It’s too bad actually because some porn flicks are downright comical, especially when they’re trying to be serious. We stumbled across this YouTube collection of hilariously awful porn acting. And not only do they feature some of our favorite old-timey porn stars, but they also feature blatant sexual harassment and lines of dialogue so horrendous you won’t know whether to laugh or cum.
The title of this film must be Never Trust A Twink or Golddigging Twink Anger Fuck 4. In it a 38-year-old twink pretending to be 18 brags to his Latino pal Pedro about milking some sugar daddy for all he’s worth. Hey Pizza Face! Instead of fucking your John for a Sony Playstation and tickets to the summer rock festival, how about trying to score some Acutaine? That shit’s expensive, especially when you still have acne at age 34. We especially like the sugar daddy’s smug, self-satisfied expression when he catches his twink at 1:06. You can tell he thinks he’s pretty clever because he makes a face like he’s trying to hold in a poop. But why is he playing smooth jazz? Doesn’t he know that twinks only like electronic throw-up music?
Not only is Tuck Johnson stupid enough to think that an electrical box is round, but his co-worker sounds like he learned his lines phonetically and doesn’t actually know what they mean in English. Plus, how is it that Tuck got hired off of Santa Monica Boulevard but doesn’t know what a glory hole is? Any homosexual who’s older than 12 knows what a glory hole is and they know not to stick their eye in one either. No wonder more experienced gay electricians end up fucking Tuck in the ass—gotta love his facial expression though. Somebody retroactively give this boy a GayVN Award.
Remember Chase Hunter? He had a HUUUUUGE fucking dick—like crazy large. No wonder he was the starring role in Falcon’s Basic Plumbing 2 and 3. Now you can see the acting that made him famous only for having a big dick. In this clip he plays the boss of a plumbing company or a dance troupe… we guess. Who cares? Anyway, he’s proud of his new employee. But then Chad Hunt goes and ruins things by sexually harassing the newbie before the ink’s even dry on his contract. Not only is the newb not having any of it, but he also sounds like Dolph Lungren playing the scary Soviet boxer in Rocky 4. Luckily, Cha and Chase are members of the Big Dick Club and don’t need to take such little bitches so seriously… must be nice.
The facial reactions in this clip couldn’t be any better if Walt Disney himself animated them (we did hear that Disney was a bit of a perv). We like how his daddy taught him not to be ashamed of his big dick, but didn’t bother teaching him how to masturbate without tearing the skin off his cock. What sort of father does that? And even creepier, the other guy’s dad taught him how to suck a dick! Who the fuck are these fathers? Hmmm… their fake accents do sound kinda southern, so maybe they’re inbred.
And as an added bonus, we have two equally horrible if not worse 1980’s gay porn clips after the jump!