QueerClick

Well speaking from a white perspective, I have never had a problem getting black guys who are hot hot hot, but there are black guys who don't turn me on just like anyone else ... everyone is into something different. I was just talking to a guy who isn't into Asians. How can that be?? My advice is to keep putting it out there and not be discouraged ... you WILL find someone MORE THAN HAPPY to cut loose with you, believe me. Its all out there.

As a mixed race person I have a look that usually has people questioning my race. I have found myself often in the same debacle you find yourself. Usually, guys really go for me or don't. I had guys go as far and say you hot for a black guy or something equally demeaning. I have found that confidence in ones self goes an amazing distance. Also, I have learned there are many different forms of beauty and you my friend are one of them. Learn to appreciate yourself and others like you and you need not worry about those guys you like making or breaking deals because some one will come along and worship the ground you walk no matter what color your feet are.

America is still a very racist country and media messages tell people that white is attractive and the opposite of white isn't. I think the first question to ask yourself is: why aren't you attracted to black men. The answer to that question will probably give you a lot of insight into why people might not be attracted to you.

Yeah, I totally understand what you're going through. I'm Asian and I'd consider myself attractive, intelligent, and an overall awesome catch. It totally sucks trying to find dates though. It's harder for races other than like latino and mexicans to find dates because so many white guys are either attracted to other white guys or like I mentioned above. I wish there were a site that like hooked up white guys who are interested in different races. That being said, it doesn't matter if the guys you're looking for aren't attracted to you. If they don't like you then there's nothing you can do about it. Just move on and look for someone that will love you no matter what color you are.

Good luck and play safe :)
-Aaron

I am black myself, and understand some of the writer's frustrations. However, if you as an african american expect other people to be enlightened enough to date you irrespective of your race, then you too should be enlightened to do the same. The writer mentioned that he is attracted to white and latino men. I'm surmising that he meant exclusively. He lost a bit of credibility in his argument if he isn't even willing to date someone of his own race. He shouldn't feel obligated to, just because he's black, but he can't hold others to a standard that he himself doesn't live up to.

Just go to adam4adam.com, there are plenty of white and latino guys there with a hardcore case of jungle fever.

I really feel for this guy, but I wouldn't necessarily blame the gay community in general for this. Ask him if HE sleeps with black men?

Can you really blame them for liking the same kind of guys that you do? You have expressed your preference for White and Latino guys, so how can you be upset with other guys for having the same preference. Black gay men have there own sub culture in the gay community and to say that they are not accepted because you cant find a date.

Stop it with the pity party, if you have such a defeatist attitude you will never succeed. If they don't want to date you because you are black, they are obviously not worth your time so stop dwelling on them and try to be happy with yourself. Live your life rather than looking for a partner to make you happy; you might be surprised what happens when you stop looking.

Also, If you think it is so hard to be black looking for a white/latino guys, try being overweight in the gay community. (just saying)

Another Black Man here. Maybe its not your race but the pic u send. I have had no problem meeting/dating other races. It could simply be that the pics u send are not attractive.

It is rather unfortunate that there is exclusion within a community that is itself excluded by what is "supposed" to be normal in society. One would think that a community that personifies acceptance in any form would actually "accept" everyone. However, we must remember that people: gay, straight, bi, man, woman, green and purple each grow up in a society where they learn from what they see, hear, touch, taste and what have you. Factors like culture, media, family, etc. all play into how people see the world and deal with it. Prejudice and racism is an unfortunate common in our society as well as others. Being a person of color myself I've lived with it all my life. The only advice I could think to give is to remember that everyone has their own opinions no matter how wrong or right it may seem and they are all valid, to the respective person. That doesn't, however, mean that it sets the mold for what everyone thinks. You don't have to stand for something that you feel is wrong and if it does feel that way, then that is something or even someone that you don't need in your life. Let them live their lives and you live your own. Keep holding out hope though as there are billions of people on this vast planet than the one or more people that chose to be narrow.

My advice is to avoid the internet scene, period. Profile sites and the like break people down into categories that are often reductive and inflexible. Their members end up making lists of requirements for potential suitors that alienate the very men they would gladly date otherwise, and they will often present themselves in a dishonest light.

Truth be told, race remains a strong issue in many gay communities. That said, there are many gay men who don't allow race to define their social and sexual interactions. I'd suggest joining a queer organization or group that is based around a hobby you enjoy. In a setting of that nature, you would be defined for your mutual interest in a specific subject as opposed to your race, and would be more likely to meet friends and/or lovers who would accept you and love you for the multifaceted man that you are.

Black and Tired,
While we have come a long way I doubt we are as a lot within the community gay or straight think and there are still racial barriers. these barriers seem more prevalent the more rural you get. I wouldn't give up though as I do know many happy interacial couples, live your life and shine, keep yourself out there and your man will find you.

Hi Black and Tired,

I'm a 30 year old version of yourself. I've been subject to constant ads and profiles with the common requirement "no blacks" or "white or latinao guys only". I think the online world is a difficult place. I think you may want to broaden your horizons in a way that the folks who are rejecting you won't. Check out bars with mixed crowds and mingle. I knew a few bars here in NYC that facilitate interracial dating and it was a great self-esteem booster to see other races seeking me out for a change. Still, if you feel daunted, try breaking out of your box. Try broadening your horizons a bit more and date other ethnicities outside of your comfort zone.

Maybe you should ask yourself why you are not attracted to black men, just because someone white or Latino is not interested in you does not mean that they arte excluding you they just do not prefer black men. I am black and there are many more white and Latino men to chose from, since unfortunately there is still to many black men not comfortable with there sexuality.
My advice to you is be yourself live your life to the fullest and more than likely you will meet someone that may be black, Asian white or Latino, I just hope you are not so blind that you miss him.

I have the same problem and no such luck. I did find some success at interracialmatch.com. Not much but it gives us brothers hope.

I couldn't agree with you more. I am a 21 yrs old Black Jewish gay male. I attend a university in the southern part of the US. I am fit, I belong to a Fraternity, and i am relatively attractive. yet every time I meet a guy Online Or in person, I always get the same answer, "I'm not into black Guys" or if I do find a guy who is into black guys, it is because of some racist stereotype, Such as: "I like black guys because they are More Violent with me" Or "I like Black guys because they Have big dicks" I cannot seen to find a guy who is willing to date me because I am myself.
so please understand that there are others of us who feel the same.
I just cannot wait until we get to a place where we can realize that "RACE" is not a Scientific term, but a cultural system designed to make people feel different.
also I would like to say that I am attractive to all guys of any "SO-CALLED" race, if he he a good person, and if he is personally an attractive guy.
Because I know that someone will ask Why I want to date a white/Latino guy

Here are my 2 cents.

I’m black, in my late twenties, and have had quite a bit of experience with hot white and Latino men…..not that I sleep around or anything :-) Anyway, I grew up in the South and I have lived in the North and Northeast. White and Latino guys are the same everywhere. Some of them (generally, the really attractive ones) are interested/curious about black men, especially if they are international!! In college, I can’t tell you how many times after drinking (especially with frat and athletic guys) the question about, “how big is it,” always seemed to come up. I got so much play off of their curiosity.

Personally, I’m not really attracted to white guys. It’s a masculine thing. The same reason I’m not attracted to Asian men. But, I have lots of white friends. Some people have a strong preference for certain ethnic identities, that doesn’t mean they are racist. I like guys who are masculine, athletic, olive to brown skinned with dark hair. That excludes most whites. Just like some whites like blonds or redheads. That excludes most minority groups. But, there are exceptions. I do like masculine, athletic white guys who are a bit “wiggerish” like Chris Strokes or athletic frat guys like Sam, Chase, Will or Kelan from Fratmen. But, if I'm to divert from my standard preference, you have to be exceptional. I think that might be part of the problem you are having. I’m an average looking black guy. But, I’m tall, workout and have a lot of other things going for me that are very attractive. When you are trying to connect with someone on a dating site that‘s a big problem! People on dating sites are looking for their idea of perfection. Everything is image based. Connecting with someone is more than their looks. It’s also their personality, mannerisms, body language, etc. My advice is to hit the bars or places where you can meet someone face to face.

From experience I know what you're going through.

I'm 22 and have heard the, "I'm not interesting in black guys" kind of comment but at the same time I've had guys of all races hunting me down. Everything is based on personal preference so your best bet is to have a profile and go with who likes you.

Hmmm. I guess I didn't pay attention to requests or non for black dudes on CL and Manhunt... but I actually think romantically at least, I don't see many for Asians. On CL I do see some but I also notice some listings that say, "white, black, latinos but no Asians, not my preference." So, I hear ya, dude.

Dear Black and Tired,

I can totally empathize, if not sympathize, with you. I don't know in what state or town you live, but don't give up hope. There are plenty of open-minded gay men among us who don't care what the color of your skin may be, but like you for the many different facets of your personality. I found my lovers by happenstance it worked out nicely and I've found that those who claim to be attracted to only their own race is minimal at best.
I know that I may be the exception to the rule, but if you continually search you'll never find (like the old adage, a watched pot never boils).
I know of a few people in your situation, but those people are quite picky and won't date someone unless they meet a certain height requirement or has a certain hair color, etc... If that's you, then my advice is to let go of those things and you may find the love of your life or the lay of your life - whatever you think is appropriate.
Don't give up. Hang in there and all those other tired cliches.
Good luck, mi amigo.

Unfortunately, we live in a society where the ideals of beauty usually have everything to do with European body types (as if there might be one, ideal body type?). Frankly, I don't get it. I hear it from people all the time... "I'm just not attracted to black men". Okay fine, more for me I guess? I wonder if those ideas of being not attracted to AN ENTIRE POPULATION because the hue of their skin is much darker than my pasty-white ass is not seated in racist thought. I think it just might be...

I'm a brother too; so I do have some experience in this matter.

I'm not sure what town you're in 'cause that would make a difference. I'm in DC so this is never a problem.

I've dated and been in relationships with white guys does happen. And I've seen some really ugly black guys - I mean Flava Flav ugly with some Brad Pitts; so is not always about looks. The major drawback is a stereotypical fear that most or at least enough of us black guys are either going to be broke and needy or criminal.

There are a few steps you can do to avoid this perception:

1) In you posted pictures include at least one of you in a business suit and tie

2) If you've been on vacation in some foreign land include one of those too. Nothing says "I'm not a Thug" than a picture of you in front of the Taj Mahal or in Moscow.

3) If you are not in the gym; GO

4) When you do get into a startup conversation don't let it go to the topic of sex to quickly; unless you are just looking for a hookup.

5) If you are looking for hookups and you got a Jamaican size bamboo; then make them aware of it.

6) If you got scary hair - Change It !.

7) Meet friends that have white friends or just meet some white friends.

8) If you got Thug-Out friends; then avoid them during your cruising time.

Not that I want to minimize your dilemma because I really do sympathize, but you should try being Asian where the countless profiles name almost every race they are into and then end if off with, "no Asians -- no offense, just my preference".

As for you, I wouldn't throw in the towel just like that. The dating world is tough and we, the singles (and some of you married) know that. I know it's cliche, but it's one that has been proven, "if you don't first succeed, try, try again".

Good luck to you.

Couldn't you find that special someone in the african american community? Or are you not attracted to blacks yourself?

try the Adam4adam site. since its mostly men of color, the white guys (like me, for example) are there for that very reason.

It seems from the letter that you suffer from self-esteem issues. And let's face it most people don't want to be around people who are very negative cause it's no fun. I say fix whatever is wrong with you and the rest will follow.

All I can say is to just keep looking. A friend of mine (a white guy) often gets the itch for a black guy and goes to adam4adam.com to hook up. And, he always does. There are tons of white and latino guys who are into black guys. Just keep looking. If I, being a big guy, was able to find someone into me, you should be able to do the same. Keep looking! It's out there...

I've never understood the race thing. I'm a white guy in my 40's and I’ve always found black men attractive. I know that the gay community can be a little harsh at times, even downright nasty. It's unfortunate that some people can be so closed minded when it comes to ethnic groups. I remember when I was in CA and met a good looking black man. We were sitting on a bench holding each other outside the back of a bar. There were two other guys outside as well. One of the guys made a derogatory remark about us. All I could think about was how stupid the guy sounded. We left after that I had a wonderful time with the guy I met. I didn’t see him as a black man, but rather as a man who had a good heart, easy to talk to and laugh with.

I don't think that he should stop trying, they say there's someone out there for everyone and his day will come. So hang in there, the right guy will come along someday and sweep you off your feet.

To one of the comments:

Just because you're not physically attracted to someone DOES NOT make you racist. Who I am sexually attracted to has nothing to do with my treatment and respect of other people.

I'm gonna take a wild guess that everyone on here isn't attracted to (or doesn't prefer on the whole) women, but that doesn't make you a misogynistic he-man woman hater does it?

Now back to the question ... The grass isn't always greener. Everyone has different tastes, I'm a white guy and the majority of the guys I like don't feel the same way about me. I'm too old, I'm too young, I'm not blond, I'm not Asian, I'm not hairy enough, I'm not tall enough, I'm not build enough, I'm not smart enough .... there's a whole bunch of things I'm not that are out of my control. It's frustrating yes, but I don't feel that you should stop looking for someone who appreciates you (if you're looking for dating btw. I'm gonna say craigslist and the like are not the place to look)

Hi Black and Tired;

Same here, with the exception that I am actually attracted to black men as well other races. Despite some of the posts, I don't have a problem with other black guys who don't date black guys. As far as I'm concerned, variety is the spice of life and I think these guys are simply seeking out another life perspective and experience by dating others than their own race and there is nothing wrong with that.

I would guess that the majority of your frustration comes from the fact that so many white or latino gays only want to date a mirror image of themselves. The ultimate image of beauty in the gay community is still not a very diverse image and many out there are basically seeking guys that are on A&F posters or are one version or another of a Ken doll.

Don't let it bother you. I know you want desperately to have that hot Tom Welling or Mario Lopez look-a-like give you a chance to show them how great a guy you are both in and out of the bedroom; and he still won't give you the time of day solely because of your skin color. But trust me babe, they are sooo not worth it. Don't let anyone make you feel like a second class citizen or some chocolate leper. You are beautiful, "talented," and every bit as deserving of love as anyone else.

There are guys out there who will seek you out solely because of your skin color. And sometimes they can be great too. But shoot for someone who sees you for you and can love you for who you are as a person no matter what your skin color is. They are out there. They're ridiculously hard to find, but they are out there and worth the wait. If someone doesn't think you're good enough for them; most likely, you'd probably agree they're not good enough for you.

Ok... I dont feel bad for this dude AT ALL. Black and Tired, you discriminate against black men just like you are being discriminated against. Why should we feel bad for you to be treated the way you treat other black men?

AND in addition to that... you don't work out at all to improve your dating chances? You are complaining about your dating response or lack thereof, but do absolutely nothing about it but complain. You get no sympathy from me buddy.

My advice to you is not about tips and tricks to pull a white or latin man... my advice to you is to learn to love yourself FIRST! (ie. a black man) Then learn to love other black men and expand your dating options. And when you learn to love yourself, that would include your health. (ie. GO TO A GYM!) Take care of the body and health you have been blessed with, and the side effect would be a more attractive body that may help you get dates.

Don't just sit on your fat azz complaining with your whoa as me pity party letters and expecting the world to change to fit you. Life doesn't work like that.

I'm going to be up front about this.

I didn't read ANY of the other comments, and I may afterwards, but here is me.

I am nearly 200 pounds, 5 9 and Asian.

Honestly, I don't hear much of people liking Asian, but a lot of people insist upon that validity, so why not believe them.

But I'm 200 pounds. Like... tall, will be taller, and relatively built. AND I'm a bottom. And I spend a lot of my time thinking, who's going to want a big Asian bottom?

Cliche Asian guy? Skinny SKINNY skinny, straight hair, dark and a bottom.

That's not me. And I'm coping.

And honestly... I've seen plenty of Black and Latino couples. Internets are not your most reliable sources I promise.

-Fluffy

1) i doubt its a race issue.
2) if he doesnt fancy black guys, how can he expect white guys to fancy black guys
3) im sure its not an race issue, he is just a non-atractive* date (*in the general way, not just appearance)

Just keep looking. The guy who rejects you on sight is doing you a favor because he doesn't waste your time. I wish more guys could be honest, without being bitchy, about what they are looking for.

You could try fishing for white and Latino guys who are only into men of color, but I have to tell you that may not float your boat either. I am half Japanese and when I have dated men who are into Asians only I have always wound up calling it to a halt. It seems they just wanted an Asian, not me specifically. Being pursued just because of your race is actually not much better than being rejected for it. Hold out for that guy who wants You not your race.

I think some posters here have it right: You can't control what attracts you. Let me preface this by saying that I have been to bed with almost every race (excluding eskimos, I think), and it depended on the person and the situation. But given my druthers, I like tall, white men with hairy chests and contrasting pale skin with dark hair. But individuals of any race can attract me depending on what they look like and how they present themselves. Your being black is not a deal-breaker, but as noted before, your picture might be. I have passed up so many internet profiles because the guys in the picture look bored or hostile, or are posing with a woman, for god's sake (what's up with that?)

And yes, the poster before was correct--try NOT being a gym bunny and being taken seriously by most gays. Would you sleep with an overweight man?

Post your pic so we can see if there are other problems... like that you're 40-years-old.

When I turned 40, a friend said to me, "That's like 106 in gay years." It's true in many instances.

I met my man volunteering, maybe you should get outside of yourself and see how much more attractive altruism makes you.

I am a black male model, I have found that I do better in bars than I do online. Then, I am always the "first" black guy some white guy found attractive. The media is mainly at fault as well as where a person might have grown up and interactions with those of other races.

Just look around....even on HIV Poster there is always a black face. Statistically, blacks may have a higher percentage of HIV within their own race, but numbers are another thing.

So now I am racist because I am not attracted to black men? No, no, no...you don't get to play the race card with this one, bud! I understand that it is hard out there for a black gay man, but it is also hard out there for a white gay man, an Asian gay man, a Latino gay man, etc. This is one pity party I am calling your hand on. Suck it up, bud. You are no different from the rest of us. We are all trying to find that special someone, and it is difficult for all of us. You are no more 'special' than any of the rest of us.

mate, stop trying and live your life, who knows what might happen then .

You can't blame other people for considering race as a factor in dating when you yourself admit that you are attracted to white and/or latinos. I do not feel for you since you discriminate against other races as well.

Be confident and love yourself. A confident good looking guy of any race will find someone much more easily than a self-doubting, self-hating, schlub. If you think you're not good looking, then you won't be good looking (to someone else). If you think no one wants you, then no one will want you. Yes, they're self fulfilling prophecies.

Lastly, dating is hard for EVERYONE. Good luck :)

Oh my God!!! I sit here shaking my head in disbelief that anyone could consider someone unattractive just because of their race! A man is a man is a man. I am a single white guy, recently single I might add, who was in a 10 year relationship with a Vietnamese man. He is STILL unbelievably hot to me in terms of his body. I live in a predominately black middle class suburban Atlanta neighborhood and you won't BELIEVE the number of hot black men are at my local gym. Whooowee! I find it hard and discourgaing to read comments like those from "Black and Tired" and Aaron who find it hard to get dates. I thought it would be the other way around. I like men of all colors and find those who are of color to be quite hot. Personally, I find the bodies of muscular black men to be sexier than whites. Many of them have INCREDIBLE asses. I love Asian bodies too. Many are very naturally smooth, which is my preference. Many white guys have beautiful skin. The list goes one.

To prefer one specific race is to narrow a mans choices and prohibits him from experiencing a wide range of cultures. I just sincerely hope that it's more of a "sexual preference" than a racial bigotry that is in the way.

Tom

I am a white man and I have made the white-only specification on my dating ads. It has nothing to do with anything other than basic sexual attraction. The elements that develop our attraction are present throughout our entire lives and remain ever-fluid.

I see on the other ads that when they specify that they only prefer other white men, they apologize and make it clear that they aren't racist and it shouldn't be like that. There is no apologies for who we are attracted to. Why are we asking this question when we have already faced the barrier of being gay? Come on guys.

For those of you would like to overlook "RACE," remember that the it is an issue for "Black and Tired."

Black and Tired, get a therapist (preferably a therapist of Color) who will not mind talking with you about your own internalized racism. I recommend a person of Color, because most White folks don't want to admit that RACE is a factor in our society. Make sure you also get a person of Color who will talk honestly about RACE. I ain't mad at you; you are a product of our world. However, if you keep banging your head up against the White and Latino wall and ruling out your own kind, then it is your own fault.

I bet if you work our your own self-hatred, you'll figure out why you don't like Black men and why White and Latino men don't want you. This is work that you must do for yourself. Think about it, my brother. By the way, choosing this route ain't easy. Understanding why you prefer White and Latino men will be tough for you to handle psychologically.

The other posters who have encouraged you to "try, try again" might be providing you with encouragement, but that will only land you back where you are now. Get a therapist.

I guess I'll throw my hat into the ring as well.

I'm a black 22 yr old guy and I've struggled with the same thing in the past. I've seen a therapist. I've looked at why I wasn't as attracted to black guys (turns out growing up in an all white neighborhood and having crushes on white/latino guys in school my whole life [because they were the only ones there!] has something to do with it). I've worked out some of my issues. You know what though? Going online and seeing profile after profile of guys that you find attractive dismissing you before you can send a message still hurts! I have a boyfriend of a while now and when i go back to those sites and look around, it STILL HURTS.

I understand what Black and Tired feels. Don't dismiss him offhand because he's a product of the society that raised both him and everybody else. Surpassing the barriers put before you when you didn't even know they were there isn't easy. Keep it positive. This guy feels bad.

I agree with others and say that you should go and talk to a therapist. Understand where attraction comes from for you. That said, the profiles aren't going to change. Be strong and find yourself, then maybe somebody else will be able to find you too.

By all means, a therapist would be a good idea. But the goal of the therapy really should be to learn how to handle rejection.

My wight has varied quite a bit during my 49 years, and I lost my hair in my twenties. You want to know ho w many men automatically wrote me off? Did it hurt? At first, until I realized that we are attracted to what we are attracted to; not only is there no real way of changing it but there is no reason TO change it, unless you think we should all think alike.

Clearly, the writer needs to get out of the house more often, and interact with a wide variety of gay men. And he needs to remember that we are ALL rejected at some point, and we ALL reject as well. Whether the basis of that rejection is skin color, height, weight, degree of buffness, being a smoker, whatever--nobody is all things to all people. And frankly, if you reject someone because of their weight, it is no different than rejecting them due to race.

I am a gay Israeli. In Israel I'm an (Ethiopian-Greek) Jew. In America I'm simply "black".

America is a great country but it allows itself to have many restrictions on interracial dating and sex more so in the gay community. I don't empathize with you at all. Race makes people feel uncomfortable. Race is race - most people are attracted to what they are familiar with and are comfortable. Blame the media for making portraying "White" as beatiful, but they are the majority. Unfortunately the media on "black" in this country is about poverty, crime, disease, thugs, and "Niggers". Sadly that is the image the majority of white people see and comprehend. Perhaps if they and you could see past the negative images and stereotyping then maybe you might see a different perspective and see a whole different picture and find Beauty.

White gay people are not racist against black people, quite simply because I believe no one is racist. But are rather ignorant or naive against the fact that not all of "us" are Thugs, broke, ugly, speak AAVE, are aggressive, steal, cheat, big noses, large lips, are lazy, etc. Because of the 'One Drop Rule' in this country most people of colour with African roots are categorized simply "black". Sarcastically I applaud the "one drop rule" because in "black" I find a beautiful canvas of men. Men of with golden skin. Men with dark ebony skin, men with light eyes, men with dark eyes. Men who like rock music, men with "gansta talk" men without gansta talk. Men with bricks men with sticks. Etc.

You state that you're attracted to "white and latino men" well haven't you consider black men? Or middle Eastern, Native American, Indian, or Asian men? The scene isn't limited to just white and latino men. You're going to find those "white and latino" men you are attracted to mostly attracted to other "white and latino men". So if you want to fit in then you should go the Michael Jackson route because you definitely proved you're not comfortable in your own skin. You sir whine about the fact that white and latino men don't find you attractive - You shut yourself off to happiness when you secluded yourself to only white and Latino men. Have a great one brother.

And white men with exclusions to white men only GOOD! Because we wouldn't have CLICKed in the first place. Besides this shit is all online.

Unless your attractive to ugly arse niggas like Flava Flav fucking like jungle bunnies then sites like adam4adam.com is your place to be. But if you want to see men of colour with in a different view then you may get a taste like on sites like RandyBlue and... actually that's all I know. Until then no such porn site(s) exist.

I'm glad to see there is finally some dialogue on this issue. I'm 33, Black, gay, attractive, the works, but have experienced this problem for the 15 years I've been out. I've lived in cities all over the U.S. and have known many Black men that say the same thing.

Black and Tired...it isn't just you and further, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!! Ignore all the people that say maybe your picture isn't attractive, or suggest you get more self-esteem, find a therapist or that if you don't date black men you have zero credibility.

Racism is very prevalent in the gay community!

And yes, we all get rejected for one reason or other, yes we all have preferences, however, when
people are excluded based solely on race or not 'preferred' because of their race...that's wrong, ESPECIALLY in a community demanding equal treatment and non-discrimation from society at large.

So, what do 'we' do?.....MOVE OVERSEAS!

I've experienced life abroad as a temporary resident and visitor and each time I leave the country, I am overwhelmed by how much better I am treated as a gay, Black man by people of ALL races and nationalities.

Moving to a foreign country seems extreme though right? Well, how has the domestic thing worked out for you so far? We can talk this issue to death but ya know at the end of the day, the situation won't really change..has it in all of these years? Something for you to think about.