QC DIY: Comebacks For Come-Ons

There are millions of cheesy come-on lines — two of our favorites are “Are your legs tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day,” and “Those are nice jeans, but they’d looked better crumpled up on my bedroom floor.”
These days, some guys will deliver come-ons ironically to show that they’re savvy enough to know they’re cheesy, but not smart enough to come up with anything original. No matter how they’re delivered, come-on lines are for the desperate. If you wanna hit on a guy, just step up, introduce yourself, and ask some questions.
However, if you need to deflect another dickhead’s come-ons, here are a few quick retorts that will leave them speechless:
THEM: “Haven’t we met before?”

YOU: “Perhaps. I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”
THEM: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?

YOU: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”
THEM: “Is this seat empty?”

YOU: “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”
THEM: “So, wanna go back to my place ?”

YOU: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”
THEM: “Your place or mine?”

YOU: “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”
More bitchy retorts after the jump!

THEM: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”

YOU: “It’s in the phone book.”
THEM: “But I don’t know your name.”

YOU: “That’s in the phone book too.”
THEM: “What’s your sign?”

YOU: “Do not enter.”
THEM: “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason.”

YOU: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”
THEM: “I know how to please a man.”

YOU: “Then please leave me alone.”
THEM: “I want to give myself to you.”

YOU: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”
THEM: “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy”

YOU: “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.”
THEM: “Your body is like a temple.”

YOU: “Sorry, there are no services today.”
THEM: “I’d go through anything for you.”

YOU: “Good! Let’s start with your bank account.”
THEM: “I would go to the end of the world for you.
”
YOU: “Yes, but would you stay there?”
Thanks to Buzzle.com for the great comebacks!