QC OlymPICS: Phelps is REAL(LY HOT)!
The impressive Beijing Olympic opening ceremonies not only rested on a $300 million budget, but also on a bedrock of deception. The two scandals that hatched prematurely from the Bird's Nest of course are:
1) In a soul-deadening revelation that rocked the world, it turns out the little girl who sang the patriotic Chinese anthem Hymn to the Motherland was not ultra-cute 9-year-old anime character Lin Miaoke with her lovable pigtails, dumpling cheeks, and straight teeth, but less-marketable-because-androgynous-and-buck-toothed 7-year-old media reject, Yang Peiyi who proudly, sadly, self-sacrificingly said, "I am proud to have been chosen to sing at all."
2) Then, if to add garlic salt to the jagged lacerations of mistrust already torn so deeply ripped into our psyche, Chinese officials later admitted that the giant firework footprints marching across Beijing towards the stadium on Friday night were not the large, celestial footsteps of the invisible Buddha, but merely prerecorded, digitally-enhanced footage inserted into footage beamed across the world.
And now, a sad third story when Becca Ward of the U.S. Women's Fencing Team was discovered by the International Olympic Committee not be a female athlete, but a cybernetic humanoid robot sent back in time from the future to win a bronze medal in Women's Fencing. Is nothing sacred?
Thankfully, some things are still real— real hot!—like Michael Phelps, the golden boy of swimming.
Yes, you may be tired of all the hype surrounding Mr. Phelps, but you can always turn down the volume and just look at the lanky, handsome legend of a boy-man. He is like a refreshingly truthful beacon of a hope-kissed sunlit pearl wonder amdist a world saturated in tear-drenched self-delusion.
The 23-year-old Phelps recently won his 10th and 11th gold medals, the most ever won by any Olympian and is set to break the record of most gold medals ever won by a single Olympian at an Olympics if he wins 3 more races. In five days, he has won five races and set five world records. He's broken 30 world records since he was 15.
Michael Phelps, a shining example of truth, beauty, and hotness in these bleak, psychotically dishonest shoe salesman times.
Oh, and if you can't get enough swimmer's bodies, play guess the Olympian's abs.
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Reader Comments
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I agree Phelps is hot
but when did they stop wearing those mega-hot speedos and start wearing those long body suits?
sure they may cut down on drag, but I wanna see tiny tight speedos showing off the rest of the body
Actaully the picture there which says digi fake is infact real, the only fake bit was when it was in the air flying towards the stadium, the rest and that picture was real because the fireworks were near the building and could be seen with the cameras.
And phelps is butt ugly.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Thanks for pointing out that the original picture which showed the fireworks over the Bird's Nest were not fake. We've replaced the old photo with a new one of the actually faked fireworks.]
I watched the opening ceremonies, and they did say something about the footprints being digitally enhanced. Seriously, it's not a big deal, IMHO... people need to get lives if they are getting bent out of shape because there are fake fireworks at the Beijing Olympics.
and i agree with Zim. We may be in the minority, but his face makes me cringe, especially when he grins. *shudder*
Zim, time to post your picture
Phelp's hot? Like a hot horse, right?
You can't make a silk purse out of a pig's ear, just like all the Olympic medals in the world isn't going to make Phelps hot, nor even moderately warm.
Well, I am just disappointed that a nation of billions could not find a girl who was both pretty enough for the cameras and could sing.
It was a boring opening event with lots of obvious lips synching by the actors on the 'Scroll', tiny puppets that didn't amaze, too many rectangular/square formations that got really boring and whoever thought chanting Confucius quotes would be entertaining to the world should be shot (I'm chinese in race and I found it boring).
The 4 great inventions ... fireworks wasn't a Chinese invention, Chinese may have invented gunpowder and firecrackers but not the fireworks. It was a boastful attempt with once again inaccurate facts.
The whole event is so shallow and untruthful ... thanks to people like Zhang Yimou.
PS. I agree Phelps isn't a pretty face, but he has nice eyes and is kinda of cute in an elongated way :)
MP is not goodlooking in the typical Cody Cummings sense or whatever other guy who's featured on here day in and day out, but I'd take him. My gaydar does go off every time he's onscreen too... I'm not one of those guys who thinks every guy is gay, but in his case...
Phelps is hot, If you put a bag over his head.... He needs a NEW GRILL.
Lot of respect for this guy. What an amazing achievement.
Totally agree with Drool. Zhang Yimou had made another fool of Chinese people.
People should have figure that obvious lips synching when the camera is zooming to the girl...
He looks as if he might have had a wee bit of work done on the grill, and I wouldn't be surprised if he does a bit more (when he gets time!) I also think he's a little .. curious and might take care of that too, when he has time.
I like how Phelp's body is so adapted to being a swimmer. It's abnormal and a work of art. I would do him. Fuck, he's 23? I need to start working out. I hate it when people my age have bodies like that.
Personally I think it was bullshit to have the Olympics in Beijing to begin with. Why do I feel this way. If we in the U.S. had a severe drought, and our farmers were ordered by the government to stop using water to feed our crops because we need to save water for an international event that would be held in our country, wouldn't we be outraged?! Even so, I'm not trying to talk crap about the Olympics, I just feel bad for the people in China who's life has to be altered in a negative way because of their govt. On another tangent, MICHAEL PHELPS IS SOO DAMN HOT, INSIDE AND OUT THIS GUY IS AWESOME, ANY TRAGIC BOTTOM WHO SUGGESTS OTHERWISE NEEDS TO GO GET HER HEAD OUT OF HER CULO AND LOOK AT HERSELF IN THE MIRROR. FYI Queen, you can't see inside of yourself looking the mirror.
Phelps sure looks like a horse, and don't you thinf his bottom half doesn't fit with the top one?
Phelps is a little to Cletus from the Simpsons for me.
I just blew the mother load=]