QC OlymPICS: The Hipster Olympics

The Summer Games aren’t for everyone. After a while, the media hype kills all the excitement. Yeah, like, “hooray” world unity and Coca-Cola and Big Brother yada, yada. Total yawn. There’s only a million better things to do than gain weight on the couch consuming corporate propaganda. Ever notice how half the Americans athletes are imported from other countries just so the U.S. can win more gold?— it’s just Manifest Destiny all over again.
So maybe you’re more hipster than Olympic fan. POYKPAC’s Hipster Olympics has something for every disaffected youth— hangovers, cell phones, tight-fitting clothes, and lots and lots of irony. And after that, if you still need an excuse to get mind-numbingly wasted during the last few days of the Olympic games, try playing the Olympic Drinking Game!
Here are the rules, take a drink…
1. Everytime you see a fucking Coca-Cola commercial.
2. Everytime a world record is broken.
3. Whenever your random pick for winner comes in the top 3.
4. Everytime your country or China wins a medal.
5. Whenever an interviewer stumbles.
6. Every time you see an Olympic athlete with the Olympic rings tattooed on their body.
7. Any time Kiefer Sutherland or Morgan Freeman narrate a commercial.
8. Everytime a commentator mentions one of the Chinese architecture names (like the “Bird’s Nest” or “The Cube”).
9. Everytime a comment can be taken as sexual innuendo, like “he’s got a real masterful stroke” or “look at the way he dominates his competitors!”
10. Anytime an athlete bites it hardcore (utterly losing by falling, missing, tripping, or some other spectacular mistake).