QC DIY: Get Good Barma
What's "good barma"? It's good bar karma, being a considerate patron who treats bartenders well and is treated well in return. Whether you frequent a bar, pub, club, watering hole, or dive you can have a much better night if you're on good terms with the bartender instead of acting like a jerk, barfing all over your mate, and felching some stranger in the toilet.
HOW MUCH DICK DO I GOTTA SUCK TO GET SOME SERVICE AROUND HERE?!: It may be less dick than you think. All you really need to do to get waited on is make eye contact with your money out, and have a bit of patience. If it's taking a while, a wave, nod or polite "Pardon me" will do. DON'T wave your money, whistle, snap, tap your glass on the bar, yell out the bartender's first name, or call them "pal", "buddy", "honey." Those are good ways to get a dog's attention, not a human's.
HAVE YOUR SHIT TOGETHER: Know your order before you go up. If you don't know what beers they serve, find a menu, list, or take a look at what's draft or the bottles on the wall. When you step up, give your entire order instead of announcing a new drink as each one's served. This is especially important in large groups. It's better to have 1 person walk up with six drink orders than six individual orders—it saves time and brain power. Have your money ready when the server gives you your drinks. If you're unsure how much that should be, ask while they're pouring.
MAKE YOURSELF MEMORABLE (IN A GOOD WAY): Two easy ways to make sure a bartender remembers you is to tip well and keep returning to the same one. A smile, wink, or nod are always pleasant but don't take over the bar flirting too seriously. They're used to being hit on by drunken mutants and are probably only being nice to give you better service for a higher tip. Chat sincerely with them if they start conversation, otherwise, just wait patiently and always say "please" and "thank you" when getting your drinks. Didn't your mother teach you anything?
DON'T BE HIGH MAINTENANCE: Cool it with the high maintenance shooters already. If you want to do a round of Blowjobs or Silk Panty shots, great. But don't order two Buttery Nipples, a Cement Mixer, a Kamikaze, and a Donkey-Studded Hustler. It'll only confuse and keep your server busy. And besides, a Donkey Studded Hustler isn't even a real drink. Also, unless you're on friendly terms with the bartender, don't say "make it strong!" That implies that they makes weak drinks (which is insulting) and may get you a weak drink or one that tastes like rubbing alcohol.
SOME TIPS ON TIPPING: $1 per drink is average. $2 per drink is good (especially if the drink takes time to make). $3+ a drink makes you stand out. But first impressions are important, so always tip well on the first round of drinks. It'll pay off in quicker service, better drinks, and the occasional free one. Remember to tip, especially if the server gives you a free drink or round.
Not tipping is NEVER OK. You may think it's outrageous to pay someone an extra dollar an an already over-priced beer just for opening it, but that's just part of the game. If you're not going to tip (bad form indeed), don't spend too much time apologizing for it. Just walk away with your drinks, and send someone else up to the bar next time.
TABS AND FREE DRINKS: Running a tab is sometimes a good idea as sometimes bartenders won't remember to charge you for every drink. It's a bad idea however, if the server overcharges you and you're too drunk to remember what you had. So, as a general rule, remember how much you've charged on a tab. If the server undercharges you, tip well. If they overcharge you, state your case and listen to theirs. If a certain bartender usually charges you less on a tab, ask for them to handle it for you. If someone you're not used to runs your tab and doesn't give you free drinks, suck it up and pay the tab. Complaining that the other guy normally hooks you up may get him into hot water or make you look like a cheap ass who doesn't deserve free drinks to begin with.
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QC Asians
Reader Comments
Your 2¢, in chronological order — add your comment below.
As a longtime bar manager, I can point out that very few managers keep around employees with attitude. If your bartender/server is an idiot or moron, don't attack them in front of the manager, just say, "I didn't get good service from that person, but this other was incredible."
1. Don't treat women bartenders like shit, they're probably most likely to appreciate your friendly attitude.
2. During free drink hours (yes, some bars have them on off nights), remember that the drink is free, but the service should be compensated.
3. If you don't like tipping, go home and drink there.
4. If you think the drinks are too expensive, go to another bar. The market sets the prices (mostly).
5. If a bartender offers to do a shot, make it simple: tequila, vodka, whatever. Return the favor by ordering another round and pushing one their way.
6. If you have a problem, remember that Bette Davis was a star and you're not. Don't be a shrieking fag making demands, that's the best way to get on the bad side of EVERYONE.
7. Follow all of the recommended steps in this column, especially if it's busy.
8. Once you have your drinks, get the hell out of the way so the people behind you can get theirs.
As a bartender, I take this entry as a compliment to the work I do. I always give a good first impression and take care of the people at my bar. However, there are nasty, ignorant douchebags that reach over the bar to get my attention and end up not tipping. They're just utterly unaware of the fact that many bartenders work on tips or have a mindset that the drinks were expensive to begin with so it's o.k. not to tip. My advice is plain and simple: If you're not willing to spend money for alcohol, don't go out. And by the way, tips stands for "to insure proper service." Thank you Queerclick for posting this. I'm sure all bartenders would appreciate it.
I frequented a coupled clubs on a regular basis in my time, and I must agree ... take care of your bartender and they will take care of you!
Even now, while I may only go to the club once a month, I always go to the same bartender. He knows I am going to take care of him when I settle my tab, and that man has taken care of me.
Drinks ready when I come up to the bar, the free or discounted drink (almost guarenteed now).
So, in the end we both leave with more money in our wallets. Him with the bigger tip ... and me with the money I saved.
I have to completely agree with this entry. As a patron, I'm more than happy to make being served easy, not just for myself, but for my server as well. There is nothing more unattractive about a patron who just insists on being major dicks. And I should say too, never expect a free drink or shots. It's always nice when it does happen, but never take it personal. You're paying for a service and their service technically ends when you've been served.
And "stevedenver", I LOVE #6 on your list. It pretty much drives it home. Don't act like you're some famous diva, except for maybe in your own mind you are, but in the non-imaginative world you really aren't Bettie Davis.