
Alaskan politi-flunkie Levi Johnston arrived in NYC this weekend to strip down for his long-anticipated nude photo shoot with Playgirl. Not since Brad Pitt's full frontal paparazzi pic has the arrival of a penis been heralded with such fanfare and participation.
If you recall, the delightfully clueless honkey hockey-playing moose-slayer called Playgirl, a magazine "where a dude poses for women"—which is true, except that most of the "women" who read Playgirl have hairy breasts and big dicks—so we're unsure if he knows that he'll actually be getting naked for the shoot.
The big question of course is whether or not Johnston will show his johnson. Beau Breedlove, teenage lover of Portland mayor Sam Adams, appeared in a Playgirl "erotic shoot" in which he just teased us with his fuckable ass. So will Johnston go the same cock-teasing route? Or will he destroy any chance he has at legitimacy by flashing his cock? He says he's got dirt on the ex-VP candidate, Sarah Palin. But would anyone listen to him with his fat cock hanging in their faces? Probably not.
Then there was a nasty rumor about Levi wanting to keep on his Levis because he's lacking in the peen department. But Playgirl spokesperson Daniel Nardicio assures us that's not the case and offers some details about the shoot:
"At first, Nardicio hoped the photographer Terry Richardson (who is known for his oversaturated eroticized pictures) might be available to do the Johnston pictorial, but the assignment went to photographer Greg Weiner instead. Nardicio is particularly pleased with the serendipitous pun. 'His name is actually Greg Weiner!' he beams. 'That's the funny thing.'
And Nardicio's already begun scouting locations for Johnston's shoot at locker rooms and ice hockey rinks, which was leaked to Gawker, earlier this week. Then, on Thursday, The New York Post's Page Six ran an item suggesting the boy from Alaska might be "worried about how his manhood may look" in such an chilly environment.
Nardicio says the story was 'total bullshit,' though he admits he hasn't actually seen Johnston naked nor has he asked his representatives about the size of the goods. 'I don't think it's appropriate,' he says. 'I ask models [for a look], but they're not famous. When they're famous, I'm not going to worry about it. We wouldn't turn away Levi if he had a small penis.'"
We wouldn't hold his small dick against him either, though we might ask him to hold it against us.