In high dudgeon and Jackie O glasses, pass-around party bottom Kurt Wild decided to get wasted on camera and call out Michael Lucas for his outburst against Brent Corrigan at the last GayVN awards. And while we're always pleased to see the big-dicked fuckpup, we're wondering why he decided to get all pissed about this just now; after all, it happened almost a year ago (Maybe he missed our awesome coverage of the whole ordeal).
Nonetheless, if you like sass, then you'll love Kurt's tirade. It includes him non-stop swearing and using the word "bitchfit", smoking and drinking all classy-like, a shot of his daughter, and his wife threatening to sodomize him with a beer can—fun! We know you're busy (masturbating) men and may not have time to watch Kurt's entire 9-minute 51-second video, so we've pulled out the best parts for your post-coital pleasure:
0:55 - He kisses his daughter and wipes his mouth clean moments after (probably because he wasn't paid to kiss her on camera. That usually costs at least twenty dollars, you little freeloader).
1:40 - He paraphrases Lucas' comment from the GayVN that Brent Corrigan's underage acting in porn jeopardized the entire porn industry and then refutes that claim, by eloquently stating, "You know what really puts our in jeopardy, Michael? What really puts us in jeopardy is your out of country, out of mind, RETARDED BULLSHIT!"
Kurt continues by saying, "We're at war with a country that you go over and find models to FUCK! For what? The same thing that George Bush finds over there? Oil? YOU FIND PORN STARS, you're even worse than George W. Bush, Michael Lucas! You know you are!"
We're assuming that Kurt means that we're at war with Israel, which we're not really. Also, we wouldn't compare Michael Lucas to ex-President Bush, although Lucas will probably savour the comparison (seeing as their foreign policy views are so similar). But errors aside, Kurt's a drunken porn star, not a geo-political science major, so we'll let 'em slide.
4:45 - He turns to his offscreen wife and says, "Hand me a beer... now. My beer lady... hand me my beer, my cheap two dollar six-pack of beer after giving you five-hundred dollars. Yaahaa!" She then says, "Your beer lady? I'm gonna jam it up your ass." Kurt's positively delighted at the prospect. No wonder they get along so well.
5:50 - Kurt gets all huffy at Michael Lucas for not talking to him. According to Wild, Lucas asked Wild to be in his Fire Island film, but Kurt couldn't do it because he had a shoot "for at least as much if not more" money with College Dudes 24/7. Kurt then says he accepted an $800 paycut for doing the scene with CD247, "because I like 'em." Might be time to get a business manager, sweetums.
6:50 - He almost lights the wrong end of his cigarette... classy!
7:30 - He asks Lucas, "You think your champagne's better than my Natty Light? I don't give a fuck. I have just as much ab, if not more. Just as much cock, if not more. Just as much director talent. I'm actually writing a movie right now, and I keep it in a little bitty box. Right here. Wanna read it? Read some parts of it? Get some fucking action? Wanna read how the camera starts? Wanna read how—who talks to who? You wanna read how all that stuff goes? Cause fuck you."
OK, that settles it... we want a fuck-off between these two. They get to go at each other and direct their camera men while comparing their dicks and abs. The finished video that makes us cum the hardest wins.
It's been a rough couple of years for Kurt. First Subway fired him, then he took part in the failed resurrection of Angel Slut Garden, and then he was fucked by a subway train. He hasn't even updated his blog since July 2009. Hmmm... But luckily, he just did a an Extra Big Dicks scene (ch-ching!), so maybe we'll be seeing more of his sexy ass soon.
At 9:30 in the video, he removes his shades and smiles. Is it wrong how badly we want Kurt to fuck us? So what if he's a married father of four? That just makes him a DILF and we'd gladly let him shove his Natty Light can up our ass any day. Call us, Kurt...
Thanks to Gay Sex Blog for the transcription.