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Ask QC: I’m in too deep and I can’t get out!

Dear QC,

About a month ago, this guy chatted me up online. It was about what I
was wearing. The conversation just took off from there, and we were so
deep into our discussions for hours and hours. We exchanged numbers,
and texted practically everyday.

At the start, he ALWAYS initiated the conversation and it was always
so out of the blue. It felt to me like he only wanted to talk to me,
and it didn’t matter what it was about. By the time a week or so
passed, I realized I was falling for him. Eventually, the roles
reversed, and I became the “initiator”.

He’s a couple of years older than I am, taller than I am, more into
fashion than I am. Gosh, in a word, he’s everything I could dream of!
While initially nonchalant about getting him as my boyfriend, over
time I just got more and more nervous as he seemed more and more out
of my league.

We went out for the first time recently, and I had serious intents to
tell him how I feel about him. I really like him a lot; I was so
hoping that we could be a couple! Although, by the time we went out,
my confidence was at an all time low, and I seriously did not think
that my feelings would be reciprocated.

The evening was pretty sweet, and we had quite a bit to chat about. I
enjoyed it, and he appeared to as well. But then, in one of our
conversations, it eventually came to a point when he said he “can’t
imagine dating younger guys”. My heart sank the moment I heard that. It
literally felt like my soul had died. I just realized what a fool I
was. Of course he wasn’t into me! He was just a friendly gay guy, and
there wasn’t really a “connection” on his end at all. He probably just
wanted to be friends. Or was he just toying with me, could that be his
“thing”?

Don’t get it wrong, he’s so nice a guy throughout the time we texted
and our whole non-romantic-only-friendly date!

Like a million things went through my head with Adele’s songs looping
inside like elevator music, I really lost all hope to nail getting in
a relationship with him. I resigned to fate, and tried to accept the
fact that I made a wrong judgment.

But alas, I really cannot. I was in deeper than I had thought. I
didn’t just have a crush on him, I was (dare I say it?) in love with
him. He was the PERFECT guy for me. I couldn’t dream of anyone better.
Heck, if I had the (totally impossible and hypothetical) choice to
have Francisco Lachowski or him as my boyfriend, I’d pick him in a
heartbeat!

In the past, I’ve only dated once, my ex was the one who initiated then. We dated for
just over half a year, and I have remained single since we broke up in Feb 2010! So yes, I’m really green when it comes to relationships. Plus I’m only 19 this year. It’s like, when finally I found someone who managed to help me completely eradicate all remnants of what I felt for my ex, SHIT HAPPENS! Damn, I’m more miserable now than I ever
was.

Okay, enough of my rambling. I really need help guys! None of my
friends have been any help whatsoever. I’m so into this guy and in no
way could I imagine giving him up.

What do I do now? I really don’t have the experience of how to handle
this kind of situation, and I feel so horrible I literally just feel
like dying. I know how a lot of guys are gonna say that I should move on,
and I would get over him and all. I know I eventually can, but I
really don’t want to if there’s still even the slightest glimmer of
hope! I’m also not sure how he’s gonna react when I tell him how I
feel, and I seriously would die if he treat me like how my ex did.
Which basically was just stop replying my texts in a whole. By no
means would remaining just friends be a consolation prize, but I can’t
imagine if I lost even that!

I know I gotta take calculated risks here, but I don’t even know what
to do! I really need your guidance and advice guys. I’m a total
emotional wreck right now. Please guys, HELP ME.

Marcus

Hi Marcus and many thanks for writing in with your problem and concerns. It’s not always easy knowing what to do in these situations, especially when you’ve not had the benefit of experiencing this before. So dear QC readers what advice would you give? Have you experienced being in similar situation? How did you resolve it? If you can help Marcus in any way, or have been in a similar situation before then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
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