This porn week was diverse and…well different. But hey, I got off and here’s to hoping you do too. Saddle up for another PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO! Johnny Hazzard Wants To Shove His Veggie In Your Oven
Okay, you know you’re hot when you don’t even have to show your “goodies” to get me turned on.
I thought I had seen it all—I really had. However, there’s something Johnny Hazzard has been hiding from you—
HE’S INTELLIGENT! And WELL SPOKEN!
AND IT’S SOOOO HOT!!!!
I’m so confused by how I feel. I’m a dick. I’m only supposed to respond to dicks, ass and cum… but there’s none of this in Johnny Hazzard’s latest cooking video blog (well there’s a lil’ ass).
I have to say, Johnny is so charismatic in this clip. Now I want to fuck him and then let him cook me dinner! Ohhh, maybe we could remake Donna Reed together! PATA PATA! All Australian Boys: Alex
I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT! I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY EXCEPT… IT’S SO BIG!
You know, they say Hollywood celebrities all have small bodies and really big heads. Maybe the secret to large porn star dicks is that they have small bodies that make their cocks look MASSIVELY HUGE! Okay, probably not the case, but can’t a dick dream?
Finally the day has come and I am sitting by the pool waiting for my sexy, very large “Justin Wells“. OMG this sexy hot boy, it’s all I need for this day in the sun. He came over and I just jumped on him; I wanted to eat him and feel his “grande cock” right inside my tiny asshole. He really got me going and I sucked on that dick for a good amount of time, but the best came afterwards when he fucked me like an animal. I just want to permanently have his dick inside of me.
Guy #1
Bisexual. 21 years old. Has had some experience with guys.
His first time: “We did just about everything. It was a threesome. Two guys and one girl.”
He said the girl wanted to see some guy-on-guy action.
“We took turns. I gave him head and then he’d give me head.” Then they fucked.
Did he like it?
“Yes I did,” he said. “But he had a big dick. It hurt.”
Ryan Rockford stands before two gorgeous men. Mouth watering for the taste of cock, his hole hungry to be filled. Reese Rideout is feeling rather dominant and wastes no time in getting Ryan’s sexy lips wrapped around his throbbing boner. He doesn’t wait for him to tease and taste, he rams that fuckstick deep into his throat, getting it ready for what’s to come later. Meanwhile Ryan is anything but a passive bottom. He slaps his ass, demanding that Jeremy Walker follow Reese’s lead and dive his cock deep into his waiting hole.
Can you see throughSticky’s insidious plot? QueerClick’s hot, but Sticky’s like fly paper for the mind. Once you stop by for a quickie, you’ll find that you’ve gotten inescapably Sticky, and the mix of porno, pop, and politics won’t let your curious little fingers go. So give in. Before we get to this week’s most clicked six, some quick love to the Sticky on the 28-year-old Italian hunk, Alessandro Calza swimming in a white speedo. We loved him in the movie, Ciao and posted some more pics of the stud there. Phew! OK, now that that’s out of our system, this week’s top six all featured men who were see-through; not invisible (as they certainly caught our eye), but perhaps a bit more vulnerable than they first thought. Naked Twister Gets A Hand (5895 clicks) – A hot guy gets jerked off in a game of naked twister at the street festival. And if you check the comments under the link, the hairy stud getting the handjob also has a tasty JO vid. Public nudity has never been this much fun! Before Fame, Came Lame (3999 clicks) – Your favorite celebs weren’t always hot stuff, y’know? Before all the big shows, glitter, and spotlights came big nerdiness, braces, and acne. Check out 50 celebrities THEN and NOW. High school is unkind to everyone Hunk At Work (3879 clicks) – Boy Culture’s man on the street in Italy ends up catching an Italian construction worker unwittingly giving a free show shirtless and wearing black underwear! Admittedly, the voyeur was caught looking, but jokingly confessed “If he’s wanted to bear me, I wouldn’t have run.” Too Much Visibility? (3514 clicks) – Even though underwear sometimes just gets in the way of a good time, sometimes underwear is the good time. So we’re not sure how we’re feeling about this “see through” underwear. What do you think—hot or not? James Franco Gets Transparently Gayer (3696 clicks) – Seems like actor, James Franco, get more transparently gay the more he does. Apart from playing 3 homos in recent films, his NYU film project was based on a homoerotic poem, “The Feast of Steven” and featured a bunch of naked basketball players writhing in a park. Robert Pattinson To Work With Bel Ami? (3421 clicks) – Can you see through this headline? Even though Pattinson is cute, is he Bel Ami material? The answer may surprise you, because it looks like he’ll go ahead and do the film… what’s it all about? Click and see… We can see right through you, too. We know you wanna visit Sticky, you’re just not sure what you’ll find. Don’t be shy, lots of great things are Sticky, like honey, bodies, and of course, cum. Stop by, click around, vote on your faves, and even leave some Sticky bits of your own!
Meet Ramsey! This straight guy is furry, has a huge cock, and is a blue collar worker! What more can we ask for? Ramsey is a tradesman, he installs dry wall, has a girlfriend who just moved away and has no problem using a guy’s mouth for his own selfish pleasure. Ramsey has become a blowjob connoisseur and is not shy about telling his cocksucker, just how they should suck his cock.
We’ve got something to admit. Did you ever watch, VH1’s reality show, Daisy of Love? We actually really, really liked it. And the most beautiful man on that show was our dream guardian, Chris “6 Gauge” Kummer. Kummer came riding into our hearts with his “insane” “in-your-faceness” that is the “6 guage” style. We always wished he got naked more often on the show, maybe… y’know… rocked out with his cock out a little more? Like 20% more.
He was once a stripper, y’know? No joke. And he also has a pierced cock and did a JO vid for Playgirl where he stuck his cock in a tube or something…. oh yeah. Totally hawt. IN-SANE! And my emo-stars also said he’s also a rock-star. TOTAL ROCK STARRRRR!!!!!! Like 3 Doors Down BIG. Don’t believe me? Check out his band’s MySpage*. (MySpage is a word, it means MySpace page) His music has changed worlds and minds. For real. I bet you haven’t even ever dreamed of doing that; not even in your most insane rockstar dreamz. Tabloid Prodigy had the metallic balls to carry a second-hand interview from this INTERGALACTIC ROCK-GOD SUPERSONGSTER!!! talking about his totally taboo strip career.
I don’t spend time with my clients outside the club in a sexual manner or for sexual favors. If I might go shopping because I need a new outfit, or I need a new car or a new cell phone, if they want to buy me dinner or give me a couple hundred bucks or they want to take me to a public outing and give me money for it, fine. But there’s nothing sexual, period. These chicks are just fat, they’re looking for attention, whatever the case may be. They’re wanting that emotion, but guys just want that one b***j***. They’re like, “Give me five minutes of your time.” They’ll give you $300 or $400 bucks, and they’re out the door.
VH1: Sex or no sex, it does seem like what you’re saying is there is a fine line between male strippers and escorts, right?
Yes.
How did you get into stripping?
It was a flat-out dare. My buddy was stripping and he was like ‘Man, just give it a try.’ And I gave it a try and I went from making $600-700 a week bartending to making $2,500 a week. And I don’t have a six pack or a two pack or a four pack. It was all about personality and having fun and I’m all about entertaining. I enjoy entertaining because I’m a singer in a band and I love to entertain and I love to keep people smiling.
Do you go totally nude when you strip?
No, no I don’t go totally nude. But I have been in Playgirl.
When was that?
2008. I was actually supposed to be on the cover and I think the magazine actually went bankrupt, but it was online. I don’t know if I still am, but hopefully not. But if I am, who cares? I have a big hog and I got a piercing, that’s what matters.
On what housemates had to say about his pierced member:
It was a conversation piece from day one, of course. I would go around the house and cling it on s***, like, “Ding ding ding! Everybody it’s time to eat!” Or I’d just run around the house and do stupid s*** and just beat it on stuff. I think one day I was walking around and was like, “Hey y’all it’s time to get up! Ding ding ding ding!” with my d*** and they’re like, “Dude what the f***? Dude that’s freakin’ huge! Oh my god!” So they just happened to see it in passing. It wasn’t like they were like, “Dude, I wanna see it,” or that kinda s***. But everybody in the house at that point had already seen it. I mean, I woke up many a times naked and ran through the house.
Yes, yes…
*they do the most amazing cover of Duran Duran’s “Come Undone” ever ever ever. It’ll be a testament to our extreme times.
Had enough of horny servicemen swaggering into your home, taking their sweet time getting the job done and bending over to taunt you as he points his up in the air. So have First Auditions! The pervy guys at this site turn the tables on this smooth common workman stroking every inch of his body and probing parts of him that his girlfriend has never even touched. He was initially uncomfortable by being mauled by two guys, but soon grew incredibly excited being treated like a sexual object. By the end, the First Auditions guys had thoroughly converted him.
The brutal Straight Hell tops are administering some nasty electric probing to the bound naked straight men. When the sadistic top starts shocking their balls, shafts and cock heads, the synchronised screaming really gets going. The pathetic cunts yell the house down, each begging him to do it to the other one instead, as he playfully invites them to convince him to stop.
Watch Hazzardous Life Episode 3 in How-To | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com Seem like months ago that porn cutie, Johnny Hazzard choked his chicken for us on his home cooking program, Hazzardous Life. This time around, he wants to shove it in your oven and he’s gonna do it “so easy it’s ridiculous.” It’s good for you, he says. “I don’t get enough and I’m certain most of you out there aren’t getting enough either.” Speak for yourself, Hazzard! We got a big cheesy mouthful of zucchini just last night. But then he starts talking about shoving stalks in your oven, how “it gets sweeter the hotter it gets.” He also suggests tossing salads with olive oil: “It works as a glue” (GLUE?!!) but “you’re gonna get your shakers kinda oily.” Put away the balsamic vinegar, you culinary slut, you’ve added all the sweetness and tang we need. But how will you know when Hazzard’s done in your love oven? Dare we slip his broccoli outside our box and release all the heat? He suggests:
“Look for the skin to blister. That is your indication that it’s time to flip… the second time around shouldn’t be as long… yet again you want to look for the blistering of your skin and the browning of your broccoli.”
Apparently Hazzard’s not done until the skin on his stalk begins turning brown and peeling off! Jesus tits! Then, after heating us up with his culinary innuendo, he slips a skinny one into his mouth and moans with delight. “SHOVEL IT IN!” the screen says just as he sheepishly covers his mancakes and goes scampering up the stairs. Damn, Johnny! What about dessert?!?! Talk about a naked chef! All all his dirty innuendo has caused us to sprout an organic cucumber in our man-patch. So if you wanna really get cooking and see how Johnny Hazzard handles his vegetable with his fellow salad tossers, check out Johnny Hazzard’s QC Fan Page.
At CFNM.net caretaker Mr. McIntyre submits completely to the bossy sadistic school girls, grateful for every strike they make to his body. He can’t resist worshiping them when they are in their sexy tight uniforms. The girls take full advantage of his naked body trampling him and fucking him with a mop handle. See this perverted straight man learn to totally submit to fully clothed women at CFNM.net.
