First Auditions: Vasil

First Auditions: Vasil
At First Auditions, Vasil was nervous about auditioning for porn and reluctant to open up when the casting director asked him probing questions about his sexual tastes. He thinks because he’s made a few home movies he has the talent to be a porn star. He’s ordered to pose in very specific sexual positions as a test to see if he can follow orders. This straight guy finds it difficult to spread his ass open so it’s on full display. Guys like Vasil are all cock and balls with no brains.

19 Aug 09 By Jo 3 Comments

Steven Daigle’s Dingle on GWIP

Steven Daigle's Dingle on GWIP
Funny and charming gay rodeo champion Steven Daigle got unanimously voted off Big Brother 10 last year. But we could all vote in favor of him filling out a nice pair of Wranglers and riding a bucking bronco, especially with that thick lasso rope hanging between his chaps—ride ’em cowboy! He popped up on GuysWithiPhones.com apparently in a bid to get more followers on Twitter:

Last week, he asked, “I am just 39 away from a thousand.. Do I have to get naked to get more followers?” He decided the answer was yes, posting updates such as, “Oh Crap, Only 12 more followers and I gotta get naked…” Wednesday evening, he posted, Ok, so it put it on Twitpic, I am certain I am going to ‘Immediately Regret this Decsion.'”

We don’t regret your decision, Steven. And we wouldn’t regret it either if you decided to put your wiener in our mouths—everyone at the house has already voted you out and you’re desperate for Twitter followers, so you really need all the friends you can get, eh?

18 Aug 09 By paperbagwriter 2 Comments

Buzz West: Duke’s Massage

Duke's Massage at Buzz West
You’ve gotta love military men! Why? Well, Duke at Buzz West is a fine example why. He’s never had a massage, and was so excited when Buzz offered to give him an erotic one. Fresh out of the shower and ready to go, Duke could hardly wait to get started, and was already hard before he got his towel off. His ass kept pressing up into Buzz West’s hands, and he kept moving his arm over to press against Buzz’s own firming bulge. Needless to say, he loved the ass play, but when Buzz got to his cock, it was so hard in Buzz’s hand, he could hardly wrap his fingers around it. He has a massive thick cock, and a huge load to match. And this is one very good reason we love to watch these military guys get off.

18 Aug 09 By redmonkey Write a comment!

CFNM.NET: Tomas

CFNM.NET: Tomas
Straight, handsome Tomas wants badly to make a porn film where he can prove how manly he is by screwing loads of women. It’s a big surprise to him when he turns up for an audition and finds two discerning female casting directors who want to see how well he copes in the spotlight. Tomas feels the pressure as he’s coerced into stripping off and displaying every inch of his body, then masturbating on camera. Check out this sexy amateur man’s first time performing under pressure.

18 Aug 09 By aaron Write a comment!

UPDATE: Cyborg Queen Derek Rivero And Human Urinal Zack Randall Mere Puppets In Shadowy Porn Conspiracy To Break Them Up

Cyborg Queen Derek Rivero And Human Urinal Zack Randall Mere Puppets In Shadowy Porn Conspiracy To Break Them Up
So you may remember the “tragic” break up of hung, uncut porn pups Zack Randall and Derek Rivero (they both run RandallRivero.com). Soon after their split, Mr. Rivero delivered a “heart-rending” video press release in which he recounted the details of their breakup the same way your mother might tell you to pick up the dry cleaning on the way home.
Well, apparently that moronic video WAS ALL LIES!!!!!!1!!!!! and Zack and Derek are but mere ass-puppets in a larger, industry wide conspiracy to market Zack as a “single dude” and force Derek into bottoming on camera! You may wonder what we’re smoking, so let us share some with you. The more adorable of the pair (recent 2009 Freshman of the Year winner Zack Randall) posted a whacked out blog entry in which he gibbers incoherently about “tolerance” before quoting Derek in a interview with no confirmable source. In it, Derek weeps tears of blood over how shadowy porn entities manipulated him into staging a breakup with his piss-drinking pal:

…I was told the video would only be seen by bloggers and industry people for the purpose of it advancing mainly Zacks career with a singles man image. It wasn’t until after we saw how the video was used that we realized the game that these entities were playing with our images…

there are forces in high places involved in this fabrication and it was they who orchestrated the entire “break-up”. Careers were threatened and promises of success were made all in exchange for the public demise of our relationship… it’s scary to think that these forces have so much to gain and receive so much pleasure in causing so much damage to our public image as a couple.

Yes, Derek… it’s scary alright. Scary like a BIG DILDO!!! But there’s more horrors to come, young reader! Derek reads QueerClick and knows that we called him the iciest cyborg queen of them all. And he’d like to explain why he came off as so icy and metallic. Truth is, he was POSSESSED BY A LIE DEMON!!!!1!:

I did look robotic but only because what I was saying was not the truth and it was hurtful to even pretend that what I was saying was even remotely true. If I seemed to be holding back its only because I didn’t actually agree or believe the lies I was fed and conveying. You try memorizing a speech you didnt even write while knowing its all lies. Anyone who knows me can see that I am not being myself in that video and that I was doing something that went against everything I believe in.

And the kicker? The dark mastermind behind Derek’s forced VLOG OF UNTRUTH then set up a fake YouTube account in his name and uploaded the video press release to infect the minds of millions thousands a few gullible porn bloggers!!!!
BEWARE YE PORN COUPLES AND PORN BLOG READERS—your hearts and minds are but playthings in capitalism’s gay claws. Why won’t they let Zack drink his piss in peace and leave his obscure fashion victim boyfriend alone?!! Don’t we all have enough trouble without spreading lies about Zack, forcing Derek to make YouTube videos, or calling them names like “fuppets” or “dillholes”?
But this dark tale has a “happy” ending! The “good” “news” is that she-borg Derek and piss pig Zack are still “together” and “”very much “in love.”” Ugh… and just when we thought we might have a crack at Zack’s crack, we find out that he’s still “married”! Oh, it’s enough to make us slam our bedroom doors shut and cry unicorn tears on our black lace pillows!
“Thanks” to Unzipped for this deformed news nugget.

18 Aug 09 By paperbagwriter 8 Comments

QCA Comedy Quickie: Sperm Facial With Marty Beckerman


Remember the last time your partner forcibly ejaculated in your eyes and nostrils? You should have thanked him for giving you the skin care treatment that’s the toast of New York City—a sperm facial! Young writer Marty Beckerman had to visit a midtown spa to get one, though his female skin care specialist seemed much too “womanly” to provide him with fresh, high-quality sperm. Whoever’s sperm she spreads on Marty’s face, we would’ve at least ask for a picture of the sperm provider‘s cock.
Then, to prove his “manliness,” Mr. Beckerman swigs some Jack Daniels and talks about the many times he’s tried to convince women to accept his free facials. However, he also likes the smell of sperm, considers drinking cum with his chamomile tea, and thinks facials make a great Father’s Day gift. So excuse us if we don’t entirely believe when him when he answers “When was the last time you had a facial?” with “Never.”

17 Aug 09 By paperbagwriter 6 Comments