Does Jesus Want To Get Inside Of Mason Wyler?
Mason Wyler gets lots of fan mail, mostly from guys trying to win his “Who wants to fuck me” contest. But every now and then, a fan will reach out to Mason with more than just his dick and try to make an impact on more than just Mason’s ass.
One fan in particular watches Mason’s work, but wants him to repent for having made it. Is this a Christian case of “love the porn, hate the porn actor”? Let’s see…
The fan’s letter to Mason’s agent begins:
Please tell Mason Wyler to get in touch with me!
A pretty standard opening for a fan letter, though if he wants to (ahem) “get in touch with” Mason, he’d better take a number and have several hundred IN CASH. You can’t swipe a credit card through Mason’s buttcheeks, no siree. The fan continues…
I want to introduce Jesus Christ to Him; I have prayed for him, and I know Jesus will save him from hell. I don\’t want him to go there.
He probably doesn’t want Mason to go to Hell so he can spend an eternity in Heaven singing hymns and drinking Jesus juice next to the big-dicked bottom. We have it on good authority that the gay sex in Hell is much hotter (7th circle, 3rd level here we cum!). And besides, angels don’t have genitals. Everybody knows that they’re smooth as Smurfs.
But anyway, the fan continues…
Please tell him he needs to read the Bible and start a relationship with Jesus as soon as possible!
Jesus has better things for him.
So Jesus wants a relationship with Mason, huh? Well that’s great because Mason just broke up with his boyfriend! We hope Jesus is a top.
Wait… of course he is. After all, he was [[extends arms out to each side]] hung like this! But before Mason could accept, the fan had one last shout out from Big Baby J:
In the name of jesus Christ I declare he will repent and he will follow Him!
Thank you!
That’s great and all. But haven’t you heard the Good News, brother? Mason’s already living a very holey lifestyle. Many a time he’s knelt down and communed with his fellow man to receive the spirit. In fact, he’s literally bent over backwards for it. We’re sure he has so much spirit pumped deep inside of him that it’s flowing through his heart and out his ears—you can even see it in his pearly white smile.
Mason’s capacity for love and service is very deep and he’s been spreading it further and wider than any other evangelist we’ve ever seen (well, except for maybe Ted Haggard and Jim Baker).
Mason Wyler may be a Godless slut, but he’s our Godless slut. So you can pray all you want, just don’t prey on him. Whatever and ever… Amen.
PS. We’re going to Hell for posting that picture of Baby J. And if it it made you smile, you’re going to Hell too.
