Play Ball! Did Tampa Bay’s Evan Longoria Stick His Bat Into A Sassy Blogger’s Inbox?
According to Jenna a blogger BarStoolSports, Evan Longoria the third baseman for the Tampa Bay Rays sent a picture of his cock to her Facebook inbox. We’d like to make Longoria our batboy bitch, go several innings with him and field his curve balls while crowding his pitcher’s mound (whatever that means). But even more than his cock, we love Jenna’s reaction to him shoving his meat bat into her mailbox. Here’s what the salty gal had to say:
[Longoria] spotted my facebook account via internet stalking and started talking to me, probably in hopes that when he visited the Cape he would have a girl ready to cram meats with and lick his asshole and shit like that. Well clearly he knows how to get me all hot and bothered because he sent me a picture of his ultra white glow in the dark dick…Perfect. Just what I’ve always wanted. Unfortunately, the email chain isn’t as entertaining as I would like it to be, it would make for a way better story. In fact, the only words included in the email are, “Like that babe?” I had completely forgotten about the whole thing until we were in the office the other day talking about dick pictures and I mentioned that I still had it.
It’s not exciting to me, a dick is a fucking dick. Pres went insane about it and was dying to see it and giggle like a little girl. Well here it is. And take that Schlongoria for burning this beacon of shit into my brain. And that goes for anyone else sending me pictures of their dick too. Next person who sends me a picture of their dick is going to get their face plastered all over BSS because that’s just how I roll so knock it the fuck off.
“Schlongoria”? “Beacon of shit”? “His ultra white glow in the dark dick”? It’s rare that we want to fuck women, but we wanna make sweet love to Jenna for totally nailing Longoria. And though we’re usually used to wooing sexual partners by e-mailing them pictures of our dicks, we’ll do whatever it takes to hook-up with her. She sounds like the sort of woman who might be down for making a hung guy her bitch. If you’re reading us Jenna, you’ve hit a homerun in the ballpark of our hearts. Now just bring it home baby for a grand slam.
Thanks to The Sword for the image!
