Time goes by so slowly…

Spotted over at Pink is the new BLOG (we love you, Trent)… we’re in love with this silly video.

Mt. Brockmore…

Brock’s ass is too perfect… so we’ve permanently enshrined it on Mt. Rushmore. (Apologies to Mr. Lincoln.) Now that’s something we can all salute and wave a flag at!!

(As we’ve mentioned, see the rest of Brock on SeanCody.com.)

PS: Can’t tell if Teddy Roosevelt looks slightly perturbed or is enjoying the new addition. 🙂

The evolution of man…

Hopefully, this will be the hardest thing you have to do today… turn your head to the side to view this one… or copy it to your desktop and change the orientation. (Too much detail would be lost on a reduced horizontal post.)

But, as usual, we digressed… and we were kinda snotty about it…

We were talking evolution. Kinda spooky that there you sit right now reading this, looking a lot like the last guy at the computer. Freaky! Fact is, the graphic would be more accurate if the guy was moving a mouse with one hand and jacking off with the other, right?

Lastly, if anything, we hope you learned a valuable lesson in good computer-using posture. That last guy… and probably many of you out there… are going to be walking question marks by the time you’re 50. This the first and last time you’ll ever hear this phrase on Queer Click, so pay attention: Straighten up!

Click Click!!

New stationery for your office…

The perfect stationery for a Friday. Print it out… hand it around to co-workers and bosses. Then spontaneously go home early. Tell them Queer Click said it was OK.

Click Click and a hippdy schnizzle weekend ta alla yuz!!

(God, I’m way too un-hip and white for this sometimes. 😉 –Walt)

Free Speech

This one’s pretty self-explanatory.

Every man is entitled to his opinion… except the two guys on the left. 😉
Click Click!!

A hole day at the golf course…

Yes, a man should be proud of his hole. He should care for it. Treat it like a temple and not an amusement park. He should keep it clean and tidy because one never knows when company may drop by. A man’s hole is his castle… well, it’s more like a moat than a castle… you get the idea.

But please don’t run it around the town for all to see… or to fuck, for that matter. Don’t make it the butt (ha!) of jokes. Be discreet, for heaven’s sake. Your hole will thank you for it.

Click Click!!

We’ll make it simpler for you…

Obviously, many of you had trouble with the whole “Shaggy Andrew” vs “Clean Andrew” posting yesterday. Our mail boxes were overflowing with comments that the two pics just looked the same… can’t tell the difference… bla bla bla.

Once again, we in the funnies department have fixed everything up for you. It’s “Shaggy Andrew” vs “Scooby Andrew”. And if any of you MF’ers can’t see the difference this time… well, as they say at the retirement home for old whores: Tough titties!

Sorry we “funny” people get so ornery. We’ll just keep smiling and repeating our motto over and over again until we feel better: “Never have so few given so much to so many for so little while people just scroll rapidly past our funny posts in search of more jack-off material.”

Click Click and a Scooby Snack for all of ya!!

One Dimensional Paris Hilton

Maybe you’ve noticed it too, but Paris Hilton really only has one facial expression. And to prove it, about.com put together a clever little montage of photos. It’s set to music, so turn up your speakers and dance to what we’re calling the “One Dimensional Paris Hilton Dance Machine”.

Make sure you have a slight sneer on your face while you’re dancing for full effect.

Click Click!!

And the CAPTION THIS winners are…

Thanks, as usual, to all of you for your fabulous entries! It seems like we get more liberal each week, but this time we have 3 winners to show you: famous movie lines and a fashion reference were the ones that stroked our funny bones this week.

CONGRATS TO THE WINNERS!

If you are ever wondering how we pick the winners… it’s really hard to say. “Funny” is all relative… even depending on the reader’s mood… and trust us, there are some moods flying around here sometimes. But it’s the ones that seem to catch us off guard the first time we read them… the ones causing a good old-fashioned LOL… that end up on top. Right or wrong, that’s sort of how it happens.

Oh, a quick honorable mention by Pablo: “The staring contest would have gone for hours, but Little Willy was disqualified when he spit in Big Willy’s eye.”

We agree!… bad bad Little Willy! We love a good cum shot just like the next guy, but that shit stings when those little sperminators start trying to impregnate your eyeball. (No, before you write to us, scientifically speaking, we really don’t think that’s what’s going on.)

Have a great finish to the week… and weekend!… and see you again soon for another installment of “Here’s cum in your eye.” 🙂

Click Click!!

Sunny gets a complete restoration. (You’re welcome.)

Sometimes even the “in people” here at QC… the ones who have the glamorous job posting the nude layouts… make mistakes. So we here in the funnies department thought we’d help them out today.
Seriously, how could they make that recent posting of the lovely young-hung-and-full-of-cum (we’re assuming) Sunny from Berlin-Male.com… and totally forget his pubic hair!!
Sheesh. Details, girls, details!
With a donkey dick like that it’s not like he needs a super pube trim/shave to make his dick look longer anyway. (Yes, many of us believe all the drastic trimming has become an epidemic. And no, it doesn’t make your dick look longer. It just makes your pubes look shorter, plain and simple.)
No harm, no foul, though. We fixed him up and here he is in all his glory… completely restored. (And a little more right ball, just for fun.) It’s the least we could do. Wink wink.
PS: Note to our boss… Relax, it’s all in good fun. Ha ha ha. You know, sense of humor? And please unlock the basement door. We want out for lunch.

It’s time again for CAPTION THIS!! Winner will be chosen!

You queers are sooooo good at this that, once again, we are relying on you to CAPTION THIS! As usual, we’ll post the winning entry with the submitter’s name prominently displayed. And we’ll probably include some honorable mentions as well.

Several clever options came to our minds, but we won’t spoil it… it’s all up to you! Watch for the winning post in a few days.
Click Click!!

Beary Good Advice?

Rewriting entertainment history with a gay twist…

Many of you have probably run into some of Rick Chris’ homoerotic art before. He’s been making the gay world a little brighter… a lot brighter, actually… with his creations for over 20 years.

We didn’t necessarily mean to relegate his work to our “funnies” section, but we did get a smile from his “retro media” gallery where he shows off his queerified [there’s a queerism] revisionist entertainment history. That “BillyCub’s Island” spoof on Gilligan’s Island is hilarious… and though we know they’re just drawings, these castaways do provide a hefty dose of titillation. [Editor’s note: Maybe this is something for the QC Queerisms Department, but we need our own queer equivalent of “titillation” (it’s so… breasty)… let’s use “dickillation” from now on.]

Anyway, lots of dickillation from Mr. Chris’ work in general. Check it out. There’s even a “Halloween Horror with a gay twist” humor section right now.

Cheers Queers!! and (for the five-millionth time) Happy Halloweiner!!

Prince Harry Drops His Pants

We didn’t believe it when we first heard the news, but apparently the young Prince Harry was asked to drop his pants during a military parade and prove whether or not he had a tattoo of his girlfriend on his ass. Hello!? Where are the photos?!!! Please…

The Sun daily newspaper says:
Harry, third in line to the throne, was ordered to bare his bum after rumours spread he had blonde girlfriend Chelsy Davy’s name inked on.
During a parade, a colour sergeant yelled: “Cadet Wales, drop your pants and show me your backside!”
Harry, apparently oblivious to the rumour, replied: “Are you serious?” before being ordered: “Just get them off, I want to see if it’s true”, The Sun said.

Read the whole story…

They’re L A R G E and in charge…

This one is packed with words and pictures… ready for consumption (no pun intended… honestly).

Years ago, while being hassled by the other SNL Gap Girls for eating fries and being fat, Chris Farley retorted eloquently for a generation of gravitationally-challenged Americans … “Lay off me, I’m staaaarving!!!”

Click Click and a big piece of pie!!

Our final Halloween Costume feature!!

We’re running out of time… Halloween is nearly upon us… so here’s the final installment in QC’s award-winning series of Hallowen Helpers. These are costume ideas for you exhibitionists out there, and those of you who like to get straight (gayly) to the point when it comes to strutting your stuff.

Get out there, fellow queers, and show the planet why we’re the kings and queens of all things dress-up!!

Click Click!!