QueerClick

Seems like half a story to me. Maybe he's ugly, maybe he's fat, maybe he's not stable in his job, maybe there are a number of factors besides his asianness that make him unattractive to men. For as many not into asian men you find trolling online sites, there are more that are massively and ONLY into asians. Looks like the other details left out may make the picture more clear...otherwise he's just being too damn sensitive.

Proud2BAsian,

I feel for you and understand your predicament. I have been single for a generous length of time and see no end in site. Most individuals who are into 'black' people have a stereotype in mind that I simply do not fit. As a black american this has left me with little to no dating options.

My advice to you is simple; patience. I am attracted to all different types of people including Asians. I have to believe that there are people out there who are like us. Simply looking for someone to enjoy life with.

I wish you luck.

Ariel

I have the same problem but as a black man.

There is a site called interracialmatch.com. I would give it a try and see what you can find. I haven't had much luck there yet, but I hope for it.

Hang in there. It is tuff out here but we have to believe there is someone for us!

Well my really hot boss is dating an asian guy so there have to be some guys out there.

Whatta ya nuts? Do you know how many people are only into Asians? One of my best friends is German and French and he has no problem telling people that he is a "rice queen". He only dates men of Asian descent. He is constantly being hit on by guys, but he kindly tells them that he has a special type that truely turns him on.

And remember the old saying: When you stop looking for someone, that's when you find them.

You'll connect with someone. Just make sure you are out and about where they can find you.

Wow, great qustion. There was a black guy on here awhile back crying that no one found him attactive, and yet, even he wouldn't date other black men. So, I commend you for being able to see beauty in your race as well as others. I don't think that your experiences are indicative of the world as a whole. I'm black, and I find all sorts of types and races attractive,though I wonder if it is reciprocated.LOL. My point is, for all of the diversity of Toronto, there will be those who choose not to explore different types of beauty. That is their right (however limiting), but, there also exists those who don't even really look at race as a means of measuring who they are attracted to, and they will be attracted to you the person, who just so happens to be asian. There are also the ones, unfortunately, who objectify asian men, and ONLY go out with asian men because of some sexual mythology, much like those who objectify black, or latino men. In the end, i'm sure you will meet someone with whom you are compatible. Don't give up. I wish you the best!

Try using http://www.fridae.com/

Its targeted specifically for asians :P

He didnt mention if there were races he wouldnt be willing to date... I thought about this the other day i heard someone say "thank god im not black or asian or id never get laid" which made me think is it racist that the gay community doesnt seem to be attracted to certian races? For example ive never dated a black guy or an asian guy and for the most part am not physically attracted to them, am i racist? or is it just up to what makes my cock rise? Porn is mostly white guys... and even most races seem to want to date white guys rather then there own race. I dont know if i should be trying to adjust my attitude or if its okay that im not attracted to most other races? its just taste like bears vs twinks right?

I'm a cute, in shape Asian with a big cock. I have the same problem too, that guys dismiss me just because I'm Asian. And before anyone jumps on me saying "how do you know that?", well they've told me to my face or write it in their online ads. That's how.

Otherwise they'd get a cute, in shape guy with a big cock who giives a world-class blowjob and is good in the sack--both top and bottom.

Any takers? Just respond and leave your e-mail...

One thing that every gay should know: No one should ever have to defend or apologize for whom they find attractive. That being said, guys who refuse to even be civil to members of certain races do cross the line into racism. If men of a given race are not your thing then don't have sex with one, but that doesn't mean you should denigrate them or imply that they are not even allowed to chat with you online.

You could try joining a gay Asian group, but you might not be happy with the result. Yes, there are guys out there into Asian men, some of whom carry it to the point of being a fetish. I met two self-proclaimed rice queens through such a group and neither worked out. The first broke things off on the first date because I am only half Asian, and too western in my outlook for his tastes. The second I booted because he didn't want or even know me, he just wanted an Asian. Being pursued just because of your race really isn't much better than being rejected for it.

My advice is to keep looking. Find the guy who loves you, not your ethnicity. When you see an online ad that says "No Asians" then be grateful that the guy was nice enough not to waste your time. How often is someone honest enough to put "Complete douchebag, don't bother" in his online profile?

Im not sure where you live, but that could be part of the issue. It all comes down to whats around you that influences what and who we are into. Here in SF Cali, asians are a BIG part of the scene and believe me there are alot of other races who would be into you!

From what I can tell, most use these sites to filter out all of the things that they think they don't want-certain age, height, hair color, and race, etc. and then use a 1-inch photo to make a final cut. And, in a large metro area, you have to do some of this because of the number of guys.

So, don't take it personally. Think about using a different site-some seem more bent towards physical appearance (and clothing optional) and others more on internal characteristics (to the extent that is possible in the gay community-lol). Periodically change up your profile, some users go by "new" or "updated" to help filter.

But, here's the thing-I don't read anywhere in your letter that you're sending out notes to guys. Be prepared for no hits, no emails back, endless streams of email-but with no meeting, phonecalls-but with no meeting, etc. There are a bunch of flakes out there-you pass them on the sidewalk everyday and don't take it personally there. Don't take it personally online either. And, eventually, whether online or on the sidewalk and if you really want-you will find the person for you.

I suggest to the Asian gay man that wrote the message to go to www.adam4adam.com that's a specific gay site for gay men of colour and our admirers. I don't got time for racists such as Paul and yes Paul you are a racist.

It's fine if Paul isn't sexually attracted to men of colour but Paul's comments reeks of racism because he's trying to act as though white men are superior to men of colour. White men are NOT superior to us.

In fact, I go gay bars and bathhouses all the time in Toronto and the amount of white men chasing black men for sex is just so funny. So many white men out there are just into black men in Toronto and I don't have a problem getting sex that's for sure.

I also have sex with Asian, Aboriginal, and of course black men.

Paul, so what if you don't find black or Asian men attractive that's your opinion.

Your comment is racist and offensive in relation to the sex black and Asian men get. I am one gay black man that can say I get a lot of sex with men of a variety of races.

There will always be racists that utilize sexual racism to feel better about themselves. Thank goodness there is a democracy in this world there is somebody out there for everybody.

What makes you think black or Asian men automatically want a white guy? I think your generalization is not only racist it is just plain stupid and offensive.

I am a gay black man and I am an equal opportunist.
I definitely agree with the other black man that posted on this board about Toronto. In Toronto, it's very easy for a gay black man to get sex because so many whites and Asians have projections and stereotypes of what a gay black man should be like. I am a gay black man that is very attracted to OTHER gay black men. I love black men and I also love having sex with black men. I think it's stupid when men of colour limit and discriminate against their own race. One, it means the man of colour probably has self hatred issues. Second, the man of colour is LOSING OUT on potential sex partners and maybe even something more like love.

I am open to dating men of other races but I would definitely say I prefer to have a long term relationship with another gay black man because for me it's just easier. I just don't have time for racism 101 and date a white man.

I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now but in terms of getting sex it is very easy for me. I definitely reject some white guys that I find unattractive as well. It is a stupid assumption some white guys make that they think men of colour "automatically" want them and that's false. However, I also believe people need to demonstrate maturity when they reject someone. Being rude and callous is not the way to go.

well, first off, in online dating and life in general you can NOT sit back and wait for the world to beat a path to your door.

are you emailing other men online that you find attractive?
start with guys that turn YOU on, and see what kind of response you get.

everyone like attention and, who knows, you may find a guy who doesn't know he's into asians until he meets you...

i suggest getting more aggressive about contacting people. and if the site you are using now doesn't seem to be doing the trick, try another one!

and secondly, as other folks here have said, there are MANY guys that are extremely into asian guys. my good (white) friend is obsessed. there usually gay bars in big cities that cater to asian guys, and those that love them. not sure about Toronto, but check it out. and i'm sure there has to be tons of websites out there trying to connect hot asian dudes with folks who want to date them...

i'm a big fan of online dating. my boyfriend and i have been together for 6 years, and i met him on friendster.com (remember that site?). so don't give up and go for it.

Everyone has their own type, and you've just been unlucky to not find anyone that's attracted to Asians. It's not they're fault; attraction isn't really a choice.

But saying someone is racist because they're not sexually attracted to Asians is like saying someone is sexist because they're not sexually attracted to women.

I can totally relate, I find the gay community very limited for a group that takes pride in diversity. Its unfortunate but it would seem like we created the barbie syndrome but for men. Nubile twinks with abnormally large genitals are glorified as oppose to real men. I dont know about the rest of you but i take pride in being original and try to differentiate myself from the mass yet when I go to clubs I litterally see clones with abercrombie and Fitch t shirts all over the place lol I would not want to date my twin. I can reassure you that you will find someone, there is someone for everyone, dont lose hope. Hot is Hot, it doesnt matter what nationality they are. I can tell you that I have seen alot of Hot guys that only go for Asian men so get away from the discriminatory environment that gets you down :) And dont forget, taste is sometimes an acquired thing lol

suck it up cupcake.....no one said life was easy!

Believe me, there are white, black, latino and many other guys out there who are interested in Asian guys. I am white and my partner is Asian (from Taiwan). We have been together for 7 years and we have a wonderful relationship. I am very partial to Asian guys.

Ok. Date guys that will date you because they like you not because of your outer appearance.

My first "boyfriend" was a total rice queen and it was total mistake. He liked me because I'm Asian and had this preconceived idea what Asian guys are like in bed. He was a not good guy.

My second boyfriend of two years loved me for I am and not for my race. I was his first Asian boyfriend. Both boyfriends were White.

Don't think about being Asian as a bad thing. It is only bad if you think it is a bad thing.

A big problem with online dating is that it is like shopping for your perfect luxury car and ignoring everything else with wheels and a motor. You only put down what you think is your ultimate perfect package. If I meet someone in person, I find I have more deal breakers surrounding their personality rather than their race. My recommendation- get offline and go find a group to get involved with. Online dating is not for the faint hearted and brings out the worst in otherwise good people.

Sometimes I get annoyed when I think guys aren't into me because of my race. But then I get super creeped out by the guys who want to get with me solely because of my race, without knowing anything else about me. Treating me like I'm not even a person anymore, just a representation of something "exotic."

So, to Proud2BAsian, there are definitely guys out there who love asians, but be careful on people who seem TOO interested in you because of your race. It can be a disturbing experience.

I actually like Asians. lol
Really, I tend to find the average Asian more attractive than the rest of the general population. Just wanted to say it to show you that, you know, we, guys who are Asian-lovers, ARE out there.
And, I'm white, just to make it clear.

Boyd....Paul....
A black guy that won't date other black guys is an anomaly not a norm. We stopped that self hating shit decades ago. Unless one is stuck in Sweden or Utah he's sucking on a Klondike bar somewhere. He just ain't sharing it with you. .

Paul....
That simple fact that you base who you will date or not date on porn is sad and should set off alarms.

Now let's get down to business.

Proud2BeAsian,
We gay men can be the most superficial and shallow on the planet; despite the drama. To be successful in this game you must be one of three things: Hot, Rich or Pleasantly Interesting. By Pleasantly Interesting I mean you are recognized as accomplished in something artistic or you can build something or cook great things from scratch.

That being said,
o If you are not hot... then get some hawtness...ain't nothing hotter than an Asian man with a taut toned body, clear skin and a none scary haircut. Get those teeth bleached. Wear cloths that flatter not overshadow . Great posture and a chin angled at 90degrees with eyes nonchalantly focused.

And never ever, have a stinque mouth

o If you aren't rich then at least don't appear needy.

o If you aren't interesting (enough) then go to a cooking class learn how to cook a dish or two against type - like French, Belgian or even Soul Food. Smell like pumpkin pie cooked in leather. I'm serious. I've even allured guys when my clothes smelled of comfort foods like pies and steak.

It's a fucking game out there. Learn how to play it. But first be prepared.

So when one of those 'I'm not into Asians'-types comes along he's gonna just wanna/need to be into YOU !
Walk up and say in a slow voice: "What's Up ?, I'm hot, I'm fuckable, suckable and I make a mean creme brulee. You wanna sniff ?"

I just love how a few commentators make the ASSinine assumption that because he is upset about not being found attractive due to his ethnicity, he must want to be found attractive specifically because of his ethnicity. Talk about logical leaps into the abyss. Still amazed, yet not surprised by the commentators on here that also are quick to try to justify prejudice, probably specifically because they've been confronted on theirs before, and feeling sensitive. Well it is what is is, folks. Like it or not, if you can say flat out, I am not attracted to this "type", then you are prejudiced, plain and simple. Unless you have special gifts of omnipresence, there is NO damn way you could have seen every single individual of a "type". Therefore you are pre-judging, and your stated "attraction" is indeed a choice. But of course, as usual any exploration into attraction and the homosexual male, defenses go up because insecure queers are so hellbent on toeing that party line cliche that they were "born that way", didn't have a choice. Well I call bullshit. Kind of odd that those "born to that way" (ie. to like men) claim to just naturally find so many MEN unattractive. I guess there is a "I'm only attracted to white, tall, blonde, blue eyed, "inshape" "masculine", under 30, big-dicked, bubble assed, Adonises, gene too. Aside from prejudice, many times, so-called non-attraction is also due to bigotry as well. Dislike someone enough for whatever reason, and see how easy it is to find that person unattractive in every way. As to the question, no "Asian(s)" are not my cup of tea. AN Asian may be however. Finally, a bit of advice, you may be happier by resigning the idea of being with someone. My theory is that with self-absorption and fakeness running amuck, where we are right now from a cultural standpoint, the majority is simply not relationship material. PS. if all else fails, consider branching out to women. It may feel wrong, but if you are in strong need of companionship it may work, even if there is no sex.

Ok. My 5 cents...
First, as a non-Asian living in Sydney and spending a lot of time all over Asia, I have an even more interesting observation. I found that most Asian guys I met or spoke to were completely unattracted to other Asians. I found that quite amazing to be honest. Never seen anything like it - in gay or straight circles.
Second, as a result maybe, a lot of Asian people I have come across have big self esteem issues and would go with any non-Asian guy. This was not a money thing either! I can not speak for anyone else, but personally I thought low self esteem is a bit of a turn off.
Third, I have zero respect and will never date anyone who makes a point to state who they are not attracted to, race wise, in their profile. I don't think the word RACIST is applicable here, we can all have a type, but I think it's just a display of poor manners and nasty negative personality that I just find unattractive.
And fourth - in the spirit of knowing the things you can change and those you don't plenty of people out there that are into Asian guys. Just need to find them.
And just a closing comment - me perosnally, find Asian guys just as attractive as any other race. Some are hot, some not so hot, some I find a complete turn off.

Ugh don't I know that feeling...
But speaking of hung up on race; I'm not really interested in dating white guys because usually they're just 'weabos'...
They like me BECAUSE I'm Asian; apparently I'm their anime fantasy or something. Blech.

I'm a white guy and the guys I like, as a trend are usually not interested in me cause I'm not asian ... it's hard not to take it personally but people are attracted to who they are and there's not much you can do about that. I'm sure for every one person who's not interested there's another that is ... not really advice but I can relate if that helps.

Like it or not, people have their likes and dislikes. Those necessarily imply discriminatory choices. If someone says, he does not want men over 35 in his bed, that's his good right. If he does not want to rent a flat to a guy, who is over 35, that's illegal discrimination.

First off, learn how to shrug with your shoulders, and accept the universal fact of life that partner selection is ALWAYS a discriminatory process.

Second off, recognize the nature of web dating. With all the real life gay venues bustling with real people, major web dating portals have become collections of wish lists, often unreasonable to the extreme. No one really feels like bothering massively with all the message exchange, pic trades, E-Mails, etc, only to land a trick. That you can do best in a real life environment. WYSIWYG. So, people have started putting together incredible wish lists, and after a while, even started believing that their wishes can be fulfilled in real life. Nothing is further from the truth than that. In other words, be prepared to go through a massive selection effort, before you bump into the few reasonable people out there.

Third off, pimp up your marketability. Dating market is a market. That's a fact of life. Everyone out there is to get the most by offering the least. Take Knutty Bud's advice here to your heart. He knows, what he is talking about. No one can have too many aces down their sleeve. Make sure you do have as many as you possibly can have, and equally so, make sure that all the qualified dudes know...

Fourth off, as previously mentioned, adopt a very pro-active approach. You want something? Go and get it. Many people out there are incurable optimists. They have placed their profiles on the dating site. An amazing class AAA hunk is now going to stumble over it, and the rest will be history. Yeah, rite? Miracles do happen, but you have got one life to live, and you want to help all the miracles assigned to you happen here and preferably now. So, you start chatting people up. Leave the passive waiting to the guys who are happy with their present status, and are content to wait till someone comes across.

Last but not least. No one can force his own good luck. You must be happy to do your absolute utmost, and rest your case. The good thing will come in its time...

Wow, this is so weird, my best friend of 7 years said to me for the first time ever last week...'it must be really hard being Asian and gay??'....ummmm...yes i was kinda insulted because I didn't realise it was a problem.....I've never made it an issue... At the end of the day....you don't wanna be with someone who doesn't like you cause of how you were born....or someone who ONLY likes you cause of how you were born....and i'm sure you'll agree with this..just enjoy life and i'm sure you'll eventually meet someone out there who'll actually just like you for you. You don't have to keep seeing yourself as a gay asian....just see yourself as a guy...a guy who just wants to hold, and laugh and cry with someone. Life's too short to make it an issue, its all passing you by. And in all honestly...I don't think anyone can really understand what it's like and how you really feel unless they're asian. I'm no scholar but I think you might be standing in your own way. Find freedom in who you are by being who you are.
Peace out!

If you "really want a partner," why in the hell are you looking on dick-in-a-flash sites?

What are you interested in? Go there and get involved. Do something generous and beneficial OTHER than "looking for a boyfriend."

I met my boyfriend while volunteering for the call center for a local Public Television pledge drive. We've lived together for a couple of years. Before him, I met a couple of wonderful men at Project Angel Heart, preparing food for free meals delivered to people coping with AIDS and cancer.

Physically, I'm no catch. Mentally, I'm interested, interesting, involved and concerned. I tend to meet guys on the same wavelength. Dating sites are for hooking up.

being asian myself and coming out in a smaller city that isn't quite as ethnically diverse, I went through the same confidence struggles as yourself.

I then started exercising, working on physical looks as well as my overall personal confidence. What I found, is that yes there are a larger % of guys who are just not into asians. Just like there are % of guys who aren't into white guys, aren't into twinks, aren't into bears etc etc etc. Depending on where you live / visit and how diverse that city is, these %'s vary. For instance, if you went to LA or SF or even Toronto (where I think you are from), there are lots more people who are interested in asians.

I think some of your comments like "(asians) are lepars in the community" are completely contradictory to your name of "Proud2BAsian." You also say that you are finally at a place where you are happy with yourself, but by the sounds of what you write, it doesn't sound that way.

Exercise, eat well, work on yourself and your self confidence. Realize that some people just aren't into asians as others are not into twinks or bears while there are lots out there who are only into asians or who really don't care about race - it's all about knowing yourself and target marketing. Nobody can win them all. I think, having a lack of self confidence and a need for someone else to fulfill you is more of a turn off then any physical attribute.

Being and looking healthy, being happy with yourself and content with the fact that you are single and have self confidence are what is going to make you happy and ultimately will bring the boys to you.

It's interesting that when people think of Asians, their first image is either Thai boys who are into money and dont care how you look like, or Chinese men with small dick and anime hair. They're not the worst stereotypes, but as someone of Asian heritage, I find the stereotypes baffling.

My circle of Asian friends are comprised of Indonesians, Malaysians, Singaporeans, Hong Kong, Philippines, Japanese and Korean nationality and we can't be more different than a group of Americans when it comes to skin colors and cock size.

Maybe you are perpetuating the stereotype unwittingly, maybe you are looking at the wrong types, maybe you should quit online dating sites and quit looking.

I'm happily dating a guy who used to dates Latinos exclusively, and probably my brown skin and my preference for Hardcore, the music, changed his perception of Asians "like me", but in the end, it's what's inside me that counts, and my cock size. :P

You'll meet someone. Just give it time. It's the keeping up the relationship part that's tricky.

Its weird that alot of the people trying to be helpful are suggesting sites in which white people have asian fetishes or want an asian boy.... so weird its getting back to the race question. Why is it that gay men idealize a white man? If your asian and only like white guys thats messed up too. I made a point b4 to point out how even our porn refelcts the taste for mostly white meat. The genius knuttyBud some how thought thats how i decided who to date... Why would he need a white guy? I think my "tastes" are established from prejudice and racisim from growning up after reading some of these it doesnt make any sense otherwise. SO im going to try to be less quick to write off any race of people... and maybe everyone else will too and our asian friend will stop being dismissed b4 getting a chance.

You've had an active social life before, one dry spell has led you to overanalyze what the problem might be -- and you've based this conclusion on ... INTERNET DATING?

If Internet dating hasn't led to meeting the type of people you're interested in, then Internet dating is the wrong place to be.

Every possible "group" has its detractors, people who don't judge on that basis, and fans. Older? Fans. Heavy? Fans. Tall, short, thin, hairy, all have fans.

I'm always amazed when I come across a meaningful discussion on QC. I forget that even though we all come here for porn, we all have some really great experiences and insight to share.

I think that when it comes to race, it's an issue if you let it be one. I'm Asian and I grew up around Asian folks in my neighborhood. When I started dating men I found myself typically attracted to other Asian men. What I found surprising is that when I went out to the clubs (I lived in SF), it was usually black men that hit on me. Even if he wasn't my "type", if he was able to carry on decent conversation, and was on some level attractive, chances are I'd give him a chance...which made for some really great nights in the city.

I never thought about dating white men, I had a few flings, but they never really did it for me. That being said, my partner is white and objectively attractive. But when we first met, I didn't even think twice about dating him. He kept calling, we started talking more, and before I knew it, I couldn't stop thinking about him. He was sweet, thoughtful and really good in bed. Even today we can't keep our hands off each other.

All this to say, race is what you make of it. If you don't open yourself up to the actual person then your hold ups about race will hold you back from finding the right person. My advice to you is give anyone interesting a chance and don't over think it. It's never a bad thing to meet new people.

I'm Asian (Oriental, yes, like your rug) and I think I am on the pretty attractive side of the scale. I live in a predominantly white country and can completely empathize with Proud2BAsian. I get far less action where I live compared to when I visit Asia. I just think countries with predominantly white people are inherently more racist and it's partly to do with the superiority complex that some of them have. I absolutely hate it when people advertise "not into asians" in their online profiles. Though recently I realise that what they really mean is "not into UGLY asians".

People who exclude others based on race aren't worth my time. Don't forget that they are looking for a relationship too in these dumb dating sites, so they are only limiting themselves on potential good partners.
As someone mentioned, I would say it would depend on your location too. I live in New York and I've seen so many couples of latino/black/white with asians. But the majority I've noticed is white/asian, even with straight relationships.

I don't have sex with women, but I would never walk around with a sign saying "If you have a vagina, you are not allowed to speak to me." If I get hit on by a woman, I don't freak out about it, I decline (not going to jump that fence) but make it clear the attention is still appreciated.

The NO list seems to be an ingrained feature of online profiles. If you want to avoid it, you may have to shut off the computer and go out and meet guys rather than fake photos with a laundry list of what they don't like. In the real world I have yet to see someone try to order a meal by rattling off a list off all the items on the menu they do not want.

The advice to get off the internet, is meaningless given that in today's society, the internet is everything. The idea that people you meet offline will likely or necessarily be of a better caliber is an illusion. The same people that come online, are the same ones that exist offline. The only difference is that theoretically, the internet is a more efficient way for gay people to congregate. If you met a partner from a volunteering group you participate in, consider that unusual luck. Regardless of how many activities you participate in with others, it's not exactly like it's a sensible thing to assume that a given man is also homosexual. The overwhelming majority of the time, he is not.

Wow didnt know it was such a hot topic :) It is very interesting to see different perspective and opinion about this. Indeed in reading the different comments, I realised that the gay community still has a long way to go to establish itself as a healthy environment.
Lets face it, we take pride in partying, drugs and alcohol. We are aroused with the idea of paying straight guys to pretend to have sex with other men, most of the interesting art or litterature we have is laced with sex and pornography. We promote borderline pedophilia with our taste in twinks sometimes lol
Despite all that , there is still hope, like in all communities, there are the good , the bad, and the ugly lol I live in Quebec , a place that is known for discrimination, not just against races but also believe it or not THE ENGLISH language lol. I find that as a groupe that is fighting for equal rights we should at least demonstrate more dignity and honor in our behaviour. Im no angel but i find that sometimes the debauchery is just so exceedingly out of control in the community. Displaying bigotory under the vail of "tastes" is so cunning and malevelant.
Not being attracted to someone is one thing but advertising it with a slight pejorative conotation is just a smart way of being racist.
Paul mentionned porn in his reply , though I dont agree with most of what he says, he does have a point in mentionninng that in porn we dont see many asian men and the ones we do see are just plain ugly. Most men adore porn, and please no one reading this should roll their eyes cause we LOVE this site cause of porn lol and if your constantly exposed to what an ideal hot guy should be ( white ( mostly straight) with a huge cock, no pubes and photoshoped features lol ) you uncontiously start doing that association and dismiss anyone that doesnt fit that image. Look at what the straight world has done with the Woman image! All these poor girls starving themselves to look like something that isnt even real!
So now we have made it easier for teens to come out, lets make it also safe for them to stay out and not feel bad about themselves because they dont look like Bel Ami or Sean Cody models lol !
In some way i find the straight world much more forgiving and accepting in their sexuality. Woman pretty or ugly in all shapes date guys radomly with no real discriminatory agenda.
All this to say, society changes! At one point, fat woman were seeked out and glorified and now they are ostricized. People can be mean, but your no angel either lol

this is really interesting topic.

i can understand you, proud2basian. i am asian too. i have been usually into other race since i was young. especially white. they have attractiveness that we asian don't have. tall, muscular, powerful body, beautiful eyes, long legs, good looking... it is so hard to be muscular for asians constitutionally.

so i always think i wish i were a Caucasian...

but i was a little relieved when i read your advices "many guys are into Asians". it means that i still have a hope.

i live in somewhere in Japan and there aren't many foreigners around me. but i will try hard to find someone special. i believe that Asians have attractiveness that other race men don't have.

ps, it is my birthday today :)

Somewhat off topic but not really:

@Marc: "I just think countries with predominantly white people are inherently more racist and it's partly to do with the superiority complex that some of them have."

Pride is built into EVERY culture; black, white, asian, etc. A group or individual can have pride in themselves without judging other groups or individuals as having inferior, objectionable or dangerous qualities. Pride by itself is not racism.

Regarding the OP's problem, expressing a sexual attraction, whether it's for or against one group or another, is not necessarily racism. Like pride, one can be sexually attracted to, or not, one group or another, without judging those other groups as having inferior, objectionable or dangerous qualities. Sexual attraction by itself is not racism.

Racism isn't the natural, instinctual, feelings of discomfort with the unfamiliar (or the inverse, feelings of comfort with the familiar), it's the deliberate intellectual (if you can call it that) decision that a race has inferior, objectionable or dangerous qualities.

Yes, someone who states they are not sexually attracted to a particular group MIGHT be basing that on a deliberate intellectual decision that that group has inferior, objectionable or dangerous qualities, but assuming ANYONE who expresses a preference MUST be racist is simply jumping to conclusions. There are many factors OTHER than racism that might apply.

As a white man living in New York City I see so many beautiful Asians every day that I almost die of heart failure. On average they are the most beautiful, most graceful people one could ever hope to encounter. If I could just have one for a friend, I was be the happiest person alive. Be proud to be an Asian. You are blessed with extraordinary beauty. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then those who don't see it have a lot to learn.

Sorry you are feeling bad.
BUT --- remember, that in a way, when we are looking to date, in a way we are like merchandise in a store.
If you put Asian food in a store whose customers don't understand that food, it does not sell.
YOU placed yourself in a forum that seemingly does not attract people who like Asian food, so to speak.
TRY SOMETHING ELSE --- ask around, see where the guys who like Asians go, and put yourself there. We all know that some people just LOVE Asians, others less so, so what?

Your letter comes across a bit as "Here is how I defeated myself, POOR ME."

PS-- I am a while, old guy who used to be real hot, now older and out of shape. If I place the right ad, I get hot, youngish, and semi-straight guys coming over to give me ass. (yes, free)
I learned how to market what I have --- try that!
It's better than complaining that no one wants old guys.