Ask QC: Throuple Advice

Dear Ask QC,

I’m 28, live and work in New York City, busy life, work, etc but recently got into this really weird scenario. My love life was simple; I enjoyed being single, went out on dates with men, and enjoyed having sex hookups when I wanted. But at a recent event I met this great couple, two guys in the same creative industry as me and we got along so well we went for more drinks later. After partying some we ended up back at their apartment having a threesome which was amazing but at the time I thought would be a one off (or perhaps an occasional thing).

But it has now developed into something far more intricate and, to be honest, a bit confusing. After 4 weeks of seeing each other almost every night I moved out of my place and into their apartment. I am now living in a throuple relationship currently, romantically and intimately with two wonderful, amazing men. But after five months of this arrangement, I’m beginning to doubt myself and whether this type of relationship will last over the long run… even though the sex is still amazing and we are all getting along.

I’m not sure if I am just having a wobble and self doubting my confidence but I have no experience of the dynamics of a throuple relationship (although I’ve experienced the highs and lows of two-person relationships in the past), so including a third in the mix has added a degree of complexity that I did not expect. On the one hand, our level of emotional and physical intimacy is unmatched by anything I’ve ever experienced; our love feels multiplied and our support system is stronger. However, it can be challenging to balance the demands, goals, and expectations of two partners at the same time.

Whether our relationship can continue at this level of intensity is one of my main concerns as our current relationship is driven by a powerful combination of excitement, novelty, and yes, amazing sex. But what occurs after the hormone rush fades off? Will the strong emotional and romantic ties we’re developing last, or will we eventually lose interest if the novelty wears off?

I’m seeking any advice or experiences of this type of relationship, do throuples last? Any help from the team and readers is most welcomed.

Thanks,

Dillon

Hi Dillon and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. As you know from your previous experiences there will be highs and lows in any relationship. When there is a third person involved too then it’s logical there will be an added dynamic and that all three of you need to get along, agree, compromise, etc, and this will be somewhat more challenging. That said, it doesn’t mean that it can’t work, this is something you will be learning day to day and as you face each different challenge and experience within the relationship. So dear QC readers, what advice would you give Dillon? Have any of you been in a similar situation before, have you been in long (or short) term relationships as a throuple? What challenges did you overcome? Please share your thoughts, advice and own experiences in the QComments section below!

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