Porn On YouTube: The Best “Worst Gay Porn Acting” Ever!

Pornos aren’t exactly known for their theatrical mastery. It’s too bad actually because some porn flicks are downright comical, especially when they’re trying to be serious. We stumbled across this YouTube collection of hilariously awful porn acting. And not only do they feature some of our favorite old-timey porn stars, but they also feature blatant sexual harassment and lines of dialogue so horrendous you won’t know whether to laugh or cum.

The title of this film must be Never Trust A Twink or Golddigging Twink Anger Fuck 4. In it a 38-year-old twink pretending to be 18 brags to his Latino pal Pedro about milking some sugar daddy for all he’s worth. Hey Pizza Face! Instead of fucking your John for a Sony Playstation and tickets to the summer rock festival, how about trying to score some Acutaine? That shit’s expensive, especially when you still have acne at age 34. We especially like the sugar daddy’s smug, self-satisfied expression when he catches his twink at 1:06. You can tell he thinks he’s pretty clever because he makes a face like he’s trying to hold in a poop. But why is he playing smooth jazz? Doesn’t he know that twinks only like electronic throw-up music?

Not only is Tuck Johnson stupid enough to think that an electrical box is round, but his co-worker sounds like he learned his lines phonetically and doesn’t actually know what they mean in English. Plus, how is it that Tuck got hired off of Santa Monica Boulevard but doesn’t know what a glory hole is? Any homosexual who’s older than 12 knows what a glory hole is and they know not to stick their eye in one either. No wonder more experienced gay electricians end up fucking Tuck in the ass—gotta love his facial expression though. Somebody retroactively give this boy a GayVN Award.

Remember Chase Hunter? He had a HUUUUUGE fucking dick—like crazy large. No wonder he was the starring role in Falcon’s Basic Plumbing 2 and 3. Now you can see the acting that made him famous only for having a big dick. In this clip he plays the boss of a plumbing company or a dance troupe… we guess. Who cares? Anyway, he’s proud of his new employee. But then Chad Hunt goes and ruins things by sexually harassing the newbie before the ink’s even dry on his contract. Not only is the newb not having any of it, but he also sounds like Dolph Lungren playing the scary Soviet boxer in Rocky 4. Luckily, Cha and Chase are members of the Big Dick Club and don’t need to take such little bitches so seriously… must be nice.

The facial reactions in this clip couldn’t be any better if Walt Disney himself animated them (we did hear that Disney was a bit of a perv). We like how his daddy taught him not to be ashamed of his big dick, but didn’t bother teaching him how to masturbate without tearing the skin off his cock. What sort of father does that? And even creepier, the other guy’s dad taught him how to suck a dick! Who the fuck are these fathers? Hmmm… their fake accents do sound kinda southern, so maybe they’re inbred.
And as an added bonus, we have two equally horrible if not worse 1980’s gay porn clips after the jump!

This 1985 Falcon flick is called Inch by Inch and features Tony Stefano as one of those jocks who are so dumb that they don’t even realize they’re gay. They’re the kind that are all like, “I’m gonna teach you a lesson fag, by putting my dick up your butt. That’ll show you how gay you are!” He finds Steve Hanson under his bed. But Steve doesn’t want sex, he just wants Tony’s musky, urine-scented underwear (but not for himself, mind you, just for an acquaintance). Uh-huh… sure, Steve. We’ve heard that one before. Tony isn’t buying it either and just to show you how not gay and disgusted by homos he is, he’s gonna face rape you—oh the 80s!