QueerClick

We already knew that Batman and Robin didn't go after sexual outlaws. But who knew that the Green Lantern, the Flash, Superman, and the other members of the Justice League were all in on the sexual crime spree? Public indecency is still a crime, boys. But who's super enough to bring these superheroes to justice? Especially when it's super enough just watching them!

Just Cartoon Dicks, the guys who brought you sex scenes from He-Man, reveal just what our crime-fighting crusaders get up to after a hard day's work. It looks like their nights are much harder (and wetter). Oh well, at least sodomy's no longer a crime in Metropolis.

More super heroic sex on QC:
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Have Grown Up!
QCA Art: The Comic Book Slash Fantasies of Ponderosa
Sylvain Norget's The Naked Hero

If you're reading this, you're probably already an expert at masturbation with years (if not decades) of "firsthand" experience—but are you a masturbating champion? Yeah, maybe jerk-off six or eight times a day (amateur), but can you jerk-off continuously erect for 9 hours and 58 minutes?!! No? Bah. Then you are no match for Masanobu Sato, world record holder for "Longest Time Spent Masturbating/Male" who dominated this year's San Francisco Annual Masturbate-a-thon.

That's right, May's National Masturbation Month and every year the Center for Sex & Culture celebrates by holding a Masturbate-a-Thon—and this year porn-patron Sister Roma served as one of the judges! We're sure the competition was stiff. As you can see in the picture above, the bear-ish former champion showed up for a wank as did an old dude who wanted to be left alone with his thoughts.

But for the last two years Mr. Masanobu Sato has flown in from Tokyo, Japan to represent the Tenga male-sex toy company. In 2008 he jerked-off for 9 hours and 33 minutes. When the event officially started at 3:00, Sato had already been busy for nearly five hours. The judges allow the masturbators five minutes each hour to rest, but one of the organizers said "it's like a pit stop at the Indianapolis 500 - if you really want to win, you keep the tire changes to a minimum."

Vice Magazine caught up with the long-distance masturbator after he cooled down and he shared some of his secrets about how to keep going and going and going...

Did you use saliva as a lubricant?

No. I used some kind of lube.

It must have chafed a bit, eh?

Yes. It got irritated a lot, though it's also kind of paralyzed...

How about some kind of wrist support. You know the ones that professional athletes use?

No. I didn't use.

What's the secret to going so long?

My abundant imagination was a key to my triumph, firstly. Secondly, I trained a lot in Japan from the time I won first prize last year. I swam twice a week and gained about five kilograms in muscle weight. That helped me a lot, too in terms of stamina. Thirdly, the variety of sensations each Tenga gave me was ideal for long masturbation. Without the varietyof sensations, my dick would feel the same sensation for a long time-I used as many as ten different ones so that my dick avoids being paralyzed. And lastly, some of my natural body traits were something special. I really need to thank my parents for transferring to me good DNA.

Tell us about the feeling of the last minute before you came.

Never better! I could feel a considerable amount of semen was built up. I came just once during the race. It happened halfway, like a half-time in football.

How did the judges make sure that you were wanking all the time? I mean, you were there but you could be just touching your penis, not wanking, for some of that.

Judges walk around the venue and watch participants carefully. It's not so strict, actually. Touching your penis is not necessarily a criteria of judgement. What's important is to love yourself in whichever way you like and actually feel it erect.

Before we get to his final quote, we just want to say that's life not all orgasms and awards for Mr. Sato. For one, the Japanese Prime Minister didn't even acknowledge his amazing feat. His company threw a great reception for him, but otherwise Masanobu feels like a bit of a perv on the Japanese streets. And even though he has a girlfriend who's proud of him, she seems most proud to let him keep his dick outside of her:

What's your record for penetrative sex?

I make love to [my girlfriend] only a few times in a year, as she's not really into making love with me. But I'm OK because I can wank myself in front of her. But honestly speaking, I sometimes feel like inserting my dick into VAGINA!

How tragically sad. If he'd only post his 10 hour video on QC Asians he'd have tons of men willing to let him penetrate their man-pussies. Do you ever use that word, man-pussies? It's a good one.

We have a video of a cute brit at the London Masturbate-A-Thon, some history and records from the 2009 San Francisco event, after the jump!

More "At 10 Hours, Masanobu Sato Wins World Record for "Longest Time Spent Masturbating""

You know how much QueerClick loves fun and games. Recently we featured Keric's Complex, a game where you get manga elves to suck and fuck one another. Then a while back, we shared a handful of games including Cruising Room, a game where you try to fuck five guys you meet at a gay bar.

We recently discovered two more food-related games. First is Porn Star or Potato? in which you have to decide, based on an up-close picture, whether you're looking at a porn star or a potato. That may sound easy (and for the first round, it is), but then it gets much, much harder. The explanatory captions are hilariously worth reading.

We found this second game thanks to Manhunt Daily. It's called Steakhouse or Gay Bar? Gay guys love eating meat (and the occasional tossed salad). So are Mr. Lucky's, Dickie Brennan's, the Hindquarter, Empress Court, Mother Lode, and Hole in the Wall names of gay bars or steak houses? The score keeper on top will tell you which, where it's located, how many names you've guessed correctly, and the percentage of other people who got it right too. We're currently scoring 75% correct, but we're not as boned up on our steakhouses as we are on gay bars.

Congratulations all Spanish QueerClickers! You're the world's best lovers! And Germans... well, you're ranked #1... among the worst, but there may be hope. According to a survey, carried out by global research website OnePoll.com, 15,000 women rated the sexual talent of 20 countries based on personal experience. For the worst countries, they even provided reasons.

According to the study, "English men were criticised for 'letting women do all the work'. Swedish men were 'too quick to finish', Dutchmen too rough and Americans too dominating. Greeks were deemed 'soppy'."

Sadly, they didn't give their explain why all the countries on the "Best Lovers" list got ranked so well—we'd certainly like to know. But if you're on the worst lovers list, don't lose heart. Any stinky Germans can clean up their act with a bar of soap, Russian guys can shave, Turkish guys can use antiperspirant, and Swedish guys can build up their stamina with a Fleshlight. And England? No excuses... get it together, boys.

Of course, the REAL problem with the survey may be that it was done by 15,000 women and not 15,000 gay guys. Hell, we'd probably give extra points for loud, rough, dominating, stinky, hairy, sweaty guys. Not that we'd stick around long enough to figure out what the hell country they're from... or their first names.

A hot item this past week has been The Puma Index, a website that visualizes the ups-and-downs of various world stocks using a handsome stripper. He wears clothes when the market's up and sheds them when it's down.

We were prepared to crash the market ourselves using corporate saboteurs until one of our Team Orange geniuses figured out how to download all the videos so we can see stripper at all market phases. That's right! We're giving you all of the pleasure with none of the financial ruin!

Now, instead of constantly watching to see what Puma's stripper is up to, you can just watch our videos. We've captured him at every moment—from boom to bust—all the way down to his giving a handjob to a potter's wheel wearing nothing but Puma Bodywear trunks. While he's not actually naked, it's still a yummy ride—he's proper fit!

The rest of the 12 videos are after the jump...

More "Whack To The The Puma Index Without Crashing The Stock Market"

Our newest find for Sites We Like, Homoshame, is a faggy half-cousin of Lurid Diggs. But instead of over-the-top bedrooms, Homoshame features over-the-top homos doing what we do worst, wearing rainbow colored garb, sodomizing statues, and taking horrible glamour shots.

To understand the site's outlook, take a look at its definition of "HomoShame":

HomoShame [hoh·moh sheym] noun

1. the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something being "gay and outrageous," done by oneself or another (Perez Hilton gives me a massive amount of HomoShame.)

2. susceptibility to this feeling (I like being gay, but when I spend too much of my free time discussing Adam Lambert's second-place finish on American Idol...I get HomoShame.)

3. disgrace; ignominy (Seriously dude? You give me HomoShame.)

4. a fact or circumstance bringing disgrace or regret to a gay man or woman (You're being a little gay and outrageous...and now I've got HomoShame.)

5. the overwhelming feeling that the homosexual population of this country and the world can and should do better (I get HomoShame every time I think about the way the No on Prop 8 campaign was handled.)

We're sure some readers will dislike the idea of HomoShame, especially since we're just coming off of Pride season, but we're always up making fun of embarrassing photos, especially when taken in earnest. Plus, the site even features a few hot guys, though each puts varying levels of HomoShame in full effect.

Other QC Sites We Like:
Sites We Like: Contributing Editor
Sites We Like: Try State
Sites We Like: Guapo Magazine
Sites We Like: MS Paint Porn
Sites We Like: Tomass Hawkke's Naked Nature
Sites We Like: Look At This Fucking Hipster
Sites We Like: East Village Boys
Sites We Like: Spunktoons
Sites We Like: Guys With iPhones
Sites We Like: YVY Magazine

Click on image to see larger version.

Between all the cocks, contracts, and coke, the world of professional gay pornography can be mystifying manwhore maze. Newcummers may have no idea what to expect and even a prominent rising star risks making a misstep if they're unsure what to do next. That's why we've stepped in and made this easy-to-use Porn Career Pyramid.

It's simple! Porn's a lot like poker—the stakes are high, the players are many, and some plays are more valuable than others. Start on the lower left at Solo JO Video and work your way up to Orgy Scene. But an orgy's just about as high as one can go in gay porn, so after that it's back downhill again starting at Directing, ending at Producing A Dance Track, and then dying in obscurity in a bookstore, coffee shop, or rehab center. Where does your favorite porn star rank?

Marcos is a totally jacked 32-year-old bubble-butted muscle bottom who doesn't mind getting slapped around a little bit which was perfect since Salvadore is a 22 year old cocky bi guy who likes it pretty rough! During the interview portion of the video Salvadore seems pretty calm but once the sex starts it is apparent that he wants Marcos to know that he is in charge and that he is calling the shots.

More "On The Hunt: Salvadore & Marcos"

Well shiver our timbers and swash our buckles! It's international Talk Like A Pirate Day! We're mostly interested in butt-piracy but we also like a good sword fight on the poop deck especially when there's booty to be plundered! Arrrrr! So you can either take pirate talking lessons from this YouTube instructor or visit the link above for lots more pirate talk tips, including these handy come-ons:

"Well blow me down?"

"Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you"

"I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon"

"Ya know, darlin', I'm 97 percent chum free."

If you're just a junior buccaneer, you can bone up on your gay pirate history at Uncylopedia which includes info on one of the most fey pirates of all time, Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Carribean. Depp discussed his very gay preparations for the role during an interview with Rolling Stone:

[Johnny] Depp says he was intrigued by a scholarly work titled "Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition." "I liked the idea of [Jack] being ambiguous," he tells Mark Binelli in the new summer double issue of Rolling Stone. "Because women were thought to be bad luck on ships. And these pirates would go out for years at a time. So, you know, there is a possibility that one thing might lead to another. You're lonely. You have an extra ration of rum. 'Cabin boy!'"

And if you're an experienced seaman still searching avast for more pirating fun, check out gay pirates and punishments like walkin' the plank! (Gettin' wet off a hunk of wood would Jolly our Roger). Find out what to do with a drunken sailor—a gay pirate cocktail that's strong and fruity, just like you, matey! Take a quiz to see how long you could last on a gay pirate ship. Or, if you act in the next 4 and a half hours, you could get a free download of the old-skool pirating game, Tales of Monkey Island.

Bel Ami (Europe's answer to the All-American Boy) just opened a blog on their site featuring loads of hot photos and short articles about behind-the-scenes action. Even though it's a blog, its layout is much more like a modular website where you access different articles by clicking on the teaser graphic. But those teasers deliver with loads of hot photos under each. Here's a run-down of their premiere articles as well as some of their great pics above:

• This month, their club newsletter features some outtakes from their first-ever photoshoot with the Corbin Fisher boys, extra shots of the very hot Kris Evans, and pictures of Bel Ami's elusive founder, George Duroy.
• They've also got shots of naughty twins Milo and Elijah not only sucking each other off while getting nailed by big dicked blonde, Trevor Yates, but doing one better by skewering Yates from both ends in the second round.
• One article comments about one of Bel Ami's few barebacking scenes—one between models Alex and Brandon. The clip went on to be one of the highest renting clips in Bel Ami's history,
• They run a review of their upcoming film, Watching Porn which features Bel Ami models, err... watching porn from their website. Talk about low-budget, low-concept.
• "People Behind BelAmiOnline" is a section interviewing the folks that keep Bel Ami running, like the adorkable 28-year-old Photo Archives manager Harry Radcliffe. He originally auditioned as a model but was considered too skinny to star in one of Bel Ami's films... damn.
• Company founder George Duroy will have a column, Bitching Favorites, with his thoughts about shaving pubes, eccentric hairstyles, soft bottoms, music and retouching photographs .

"[The blog's] purpose was to create a place where company founder George Duroy could communicate directly with Bel Ami customers and people who visit the site," said company COO Stuart Davis to the Gay Porn Times.