Beautiful blond Ivan is back! Lifeguard fantasies are kicking into overdrive with this gorgeous Baywatch babe with his hard body, cut abs, surfer lips, golden treasure trail. Need we go on? Everything about Ivan screams: save me, I’m drowning!
Ivan’s fantasy? It involves breasts (he’s a huge fan of huge knockers) and a pot of honey. He is from Germany – ancestral home of the big breasted. We can’t spell the region he’s from – we’d google it, but our keyboard just got sticky!
If you suffer from a fear of spiders, we may have the cure! What if instead of hideously poisoning you, spider bites just gave you an insane boner? Well that’s just what the Brazilian banana spider does!
Its scientific name is phoneutria nigriventer, or as we like to pronounce it shamma-lamma-ding-dong. It’s about the size of a post-coital pack of cigarettes and tends to pop up on banana plantations, transport ships, and packing crates at your local Whole Foods.
The spider doesn’t bite very often—a University of Washington arachnoid expert says there’s only 7,000 documented bites with just 10 measly deaths—but the spider is still a jerk. It likes to wander around at night and hide during the day in your car and shoes. Plus its bite hurts like a bitch. But if you do get bitten, hold onto your panties because that where THE REAL FUN BEGINS!!!
A chemical component of the spider’s venom causes priapism (ie. awesome boners). If a Brazilian banana spider bites you, you’ll end up with an erection lasting several hours. Granted, this erection can be very uncomfortable, especially at the dinner table, and it can even result in impotence. But scientists are currently studying the toxin because it has proven to grant magical boners to men unaffected by Viagra!
So the next time you think about squashing a spider in your home, think about whether it could give you a penis of the Gods!!! And then squash it.
Yep. You read the title right. It’s been a while since Connor has bottomed on Corbin Fisher. Once he thought about it, he realized it’s been a year since he’s bottomed. And hot new freshman Jarrett is the lucky one that gets to make sure Connor hasn’t forgotten how it works on the other side!
From deadly dicks and blurry pics to Iraq vets and bareback sex, the QComment boards sizzled this week. We picked out the 10 best QComments for you to enjoy and discuss here. Why? Because the QConversation just isn’t any fun without you!
But first let us address some in-house business. In the Paragon Men post with Mark DeSantos, QCommenter hemingway said, “stop with the shaving of pubes PLS. Also queerclick, i HATE your new format- its gonna make me go t anther site every mrning instead of urs.” Shorty stepped up and said, “@hemingway: I don’t see how you can say you don’t like the format without specifying why. Personally, I like it just fine.” Alex also shared his appreciation by saying, “I like the new QC format. It took too long to load the site the old way.”
We really appreciate the input of ALL our QCommunity and Editor D made sure to take the time to thank our supporters and address hemingway’s concerns:
Thanks @short @alex! =)) We’ve received alot of encouraging feedback from our readers since the changeover. No doubt there will always be resistance to changes, but that’s to be expected. We believe the new layout – bigger images, shorter and punchier landing page, faster loading main page – are all constructive improvements. For those who are not that inclined or motivated to even click on the mouse for the expanded posts (which are bigger and meatier) – I can only wish them the best.