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Ask QC: Deep throating

Dear Ask QC,

I’m sure this question has been asked before, but I couldn’t find the posting so I’m going to ask it again.

My boyfriend loves head, but I’m horrible at it. I have a really bad gag reflex, and once I get past the head, it’s all over with. I have to pull off and I’m choking and just about to vomit. And it isn’t that I don’t like doing it, I just hit that point where I can’t go any further. It’s the same thing with brushing my teeth…I get to the back ones and all the sudden it’s just gagging and choking.

So I guess my question’s are; Is there some way to learn how not to gag? Is that something that can be taught? I’d love to go all the way down on his dick the way I’ve seen porn stars do it in movies, but whenever I try, I just can’t do it. Any tips?

Dorian

Hi Dorian and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. You’re correct there has been a previous couple of letters on this subject before; Ask QC: Advice on improving my oral skills and Ask QC: I have a horrible gag reflex! both of which may help you with some suggestions and advice. Oral sex and specifically deep throating is certainly a skill that can be learned and improved upon but overcoming an involuntary gag reflex can be difficult and off putting for some people. The gag reflex is the bodies natural defence mechanism to eject objects from the throat but, surprisingly not all of us have it. Fortunately there are some ways to overcome this; using an oral numbing spray or gel (usually used to relieve tooth pain) on the soft palate can be effective for up to an hour. You can also “train” to get accustomed gradually over time but this does require some patience too. One effective method is to gently use your toothbrush to brush your tongue just at the point where the gag reflex starts, do this for around 10 seconds initially. Repeat this process nightly and gradually over time you will notice the gag reflex becoming less each time you do it. You can continue this over time, increasing the length of time you brush and how far you reach with your brush. Over the course of a month you should be able to significantly reduce your gag reflex. As the gag reflex is triggered by a combination of psychology and physiology being in a relaxed state can also help. So being relaxed both mentally and physically will help, such as exercising beforehand (leg raises and abdominal crunches are known exercises that reduce gag reflex). Psychologically anything that relaxes you mentally such as listening to music or even hypnotherapy can help (you can tell your therapist you gag when the dentist or doctor examine your mouth if you would rather not mention oral sex). Also taking a nasal decongestant may help you breathe more easily through your nose during oral sex and also help to prevent triggering the gag reflex. So dear QC readers, what advice would you give Dorian to overcome his gag reflex? Did you have this condition before and what worked for you? If you can help him in any way then please share your thoughts, advice and experiences in the QComments section!

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