Corbin Fisher Defends Adam Lambert’s AMA Performance One Month After The Fact

Corbin Fisher has become a bit Michael Lucas-esque with their zany press releases. First, they supposedly offer Levi Johnston $100,000 to masturbate three times. And now, they’ve decided to release a press statement defending Adam Lambert’s AMA performance… rather timely seeing as it happened about a month ago.
Corbin Fisher takes aims at Anita Staver from the homophobic organization, The Liberty Counsel. She filed a complaint asking the FCC to fine the American Broadcast Company for showing Adam Lambert’s simulated oral sex. And while neither we nor Corbin Fisher have any problem with broadcasting oral sex, CF’s press release certainly takes a sanctimonious and over-the-top tone by suggesting that FCC test Staver’s household to see whether Lambert’s performance “aroused an unwholesome sexual interest or desire.” How, you ask? Through penile plethysmography and anal probes:

We cannot presume, for the moment, which member of Ms. Staver’s household felt arousal or sexual interest in Mr. Lambert, but she should be prepared to provide this information to the FCC if it is her position that the broadcast was marked by an “unwholesome sexual interest or desire.”

…we demand that the FCC subject all male members of the Staver household to a
test to determine whether, indeed, one of them is susceptible to arousal by Mr. Lambert’s performance. We suggest one of two methods to be administered to determine if, indeed, a member of the Staver household found his loins to be appropriately stirred so that it would warrant an investigation by the federal government.

The subjects could submit to penile plethysmography while watching a tape of the Adam Lambert performance. Alternatively, Joseph G. Bohlen, James P. Held, and Margaret Olwen Sanderson were able to judge the levels of sexual pleasure in men by the administration of a convenient anal probe, which measured involuntary contractions of the sphincter during orgasm. See The male orgasm: Pelvic contractions measured by anal probe, in the April 23, 2005 edition of Behavioral Science. Either method would do.

We do agree that it was stupid of ABC to censor Adam Lambert’s AMA antics after the fact, especially when they’ve shown female pop artists kissing and grinding in the past. But we weren’t titillated by those female kisses either. And while we’re happy to push boundaries and throw sex back in the face of the self-righteous, in the end we found Lambert’s simulated oral sex as “arousing” as Corbin Fisher’s letter, which is to say, very little.