Spank Your Monkey With The Monkey Spanker!

Let’s face it, masturbation gets boring. There are only so many whack off maneuvers, inflatable fuck-me dolls deflate and cause chafing, and not everyone can afford the yoga classes or rib-removal surgery for sucking their own dick— what’s a boy to do?!?
Well, now the brilliant sex scientists in the UK have thought of the perfect way to bring handjobs into the 21st century with the Monkey Spanker! Slap boxing your one-eyed chimp has never been more enjoyable.
Simply lube up the soft, stretchy ding-ring, turn on the vibrator, and insert your rigid meat bat into the pleasure paddle. Then flog your log for hours (or minutes) until the wondrous blowjob-like vibrations induce a mind-shattering orgasm that will make you ejaculate thick lassos of jism onto your eyes, family photographs, and stuffed animals.
Whether you’re a seasoned snake charmer or a beginning baloney bopper, The Monkey Spanker makes a great gift for any barmitzvah, bachelor party, or funeral. Friends, co-workers, and family members all love the Monkey Spanker— it’s small, easy to clean, and even comes with batteries! Go out and get one (or five) today!
DISCLAIMER: No actual monkeys were spanked or otherwise harmed in the making of this product. Several plastic gnomes however were horribly clubbed to death.
Via Sticky.