Wednesday Wrasslin’ Round-Up: Robert Evans

Hey boy lovers… your ideal wrestler has arrived! Meet Robert Evans, he’s a tall lanky twink-type who looks like an angel but is mean as hell. He comes in the ring with his full-body tights, father boa, shades, and chapeau (kinda like Elton John) and then fights with all he’s got: boner-popping off-the-top-ropes moves, killer backbreakers, crazy reversals, and even a few cheap moves that really show off his bitchiness! And he’s got a nice lean body too, perfect for manhandling his cocky competitors.

Robert Evans versus JT Lamotta (part 1): JT Lamotta is a hot, baby-fat brawler who fills out his black trunks very nicely. Evans turns things around at 3:00 with a nice leg sweep that sends Lamotta face first into the canvas. Robert mets out the punishments after that and you gotta love Robert’s cocky pins that show off his lanky body and cute little butt.

Robert Evans versus JT Lamotta (part 2): Robert won’t relent on JT as he continues with the X. Luckily, Lamotta has a spinning neck-breaker and a a killer gut buster knee drop around 3:15 to keep him at bay. Almost ten minutes in, both men are hurting. Which one will outlast the other?
An incredibly hot match where the loser gets shaved—after the jump!

Robert Evans versus Jiggle-O James Johnson (part 1): Ever heard of a “hair match?” It’s where the loser is humiliated by being shaved bald by the victor. These handsome gents have beautiful heads of hair to lose and Robert starts off dirty to make sure he’s not the “mane event.” But Jiggle-O’s no heel and he’s got the flying pins and drop-kicks to prove it! Is it us or is the backbreaker (4:35) among the sexier moves in wrestling (the Boston Crab [6:25] camel clutch and grapevine being two others)? Those lips on Jiggle-O’s ass are just begging for a fat dick between ’em. Robert’s a hell of a wrestler… can he deliver?

Robert Evans versus Jiggle-O James Johnson (part 2): Even when you think one man has messed up a move, he turns it to his advantage. Just as you think one guy’s got the upper hand, his competitor reverses the situation to devastating effect. Just check out the neck pop at 1:42, the yank down around 3:15, the overhand toss at 4:40, and some rough-riding reverse pin love at 6:15… it just doesn’t stop! And the loser’s face at the end of the match is well-worth the wait. That sucker’s gonna end up bald-headed.